Would you let a schizophrenic family member look after your DC?

[Februaryblooms]

Just that really. Would you?

Relative with this diagnosis has offered to help with childcare when I return to work after having our second baby.

In my case, it's an absolute no. I don't feel comfortable with it due to the unpredictable nature of the illness, their lack of experience with children and the amount of relapses they have.

But AIBU and discriminatory?

We use “relapsing” to describe many clinical conditions that come and go. MS. Lupus. Membranous nephropathy. It doesn’t have the negative connotations you seem to think it does.

No. Not ever.

oddly i remember this very same post a couple of years ago.
it ended up being taken down for being disablist/negative to those with mental health conditions.

A relapsing - remitting medical condition is one that comes and goes. That's what she has.

It would have to be an individual decision based on the exact circumstances and in your case it sounds like you have made the right call. You aren't being discriminatory against a mental health diagnosis, you are making a rational decision based on known facts.

Schizophrenia can be very well controlled by meds but there will sometimes be fluctuations in how effective a med regime is, and you can never be 100% confident that someone will always remember to take their meds, or might just not do so on a whim as the side effects are unpleasant.

I think if I was making a decision like this it wouldn't be a blanket "no" but I would need things set up so that I could spend a bit of time with them at drop off every single time to get a feel for their current state of mind. I would have a backup plan in place so that if I had the slightest worry that things weren't OK then I could switch to backup at zero notice. That being unlikely to be practical for weekly arrangements to allow for working, it would probably only ever be a very occasional thing at a weekend for example.

As someone who has complex mental health problems and a father with schizophrenia my answer would be No way.

Mental health even with medication can be unpredictable. It also sounds like this person isn't stable and it sounds risky to me. I know from experience you can avoid triggers all you like but, they can and do spring on you.

Yabu to say no purely because of the schizophrenia. Yanbu to say no due to the relapses and lack of childcare experience.

Hi, I checked with the gp and they said: she would be useless in an emergency but otherwise fine.

She was under a healthcare programme where the nurse arrived every Monday and administered an injection, ie she was unable to self medicate. She called it 'an injection for me nerves'.

She was the gentlest, kindest person in the world. She had ENDLESS patience. She was lovely. The children just ignored her little obsessions which were warning against adders in the garden and hawks flying overhead.

Caveat: these were one offs for an hour or so. Returning to work - no.

However, she did raise two lovely girls of her own, with a supportive husband.