Never been this upset before

[heislost]

I left my ex recently. He was abusive emotionally and financially. I'm working with women's aid. I was heard at MARAC this week and general advice is to not have any contact with him.

Long story short. We have a small baby. He was taken to hospital via ambulance a month or so ago. He had a follow up heart scan recently and the appointment to discuss the results was meant to be today.

Ex has called and cancelled it. He's lied and told them a family member has been rushed to hospital. I've had confirmation from a close family member that this is a lie. He rebooked the appointment for 3 months time, and didn't tell me. Then there's me, stood there like a lemon because the appointment has been cancelled and he hasn't told me. He's playing games but the fact that he had cancelled his son's cardiac appointment to get at me is beyond madness. I am so upset.

How do I report this? And who to? Women's Aid?

I'm so, so angry. I have never done anything bad to him. All I did was leave and he hates it. He claims he had our son's best interests at heart... I'm sure if there was something serious wrong they would have got me in sooner but still, it's so important he's seen as soon as possible.

He rebooked the appointment for 3 months time because that's when he's on leave! He wasn't even meant to be at the appointment today.

Sorry. This is all jumbled but I'm shaking with anger.

So he isn't even meant to have access to this info through the hospital but they allowed him to cancel the appointment and book again for months away?

Make a complaint to the hospital!

I dont want to go all paranoid but if no one else new, maybe he's monitoring your phone

((((big Hugs))))💐🌼💐

Ps, we have heart kids in the extended family. If the results were serious, they would call you and bring you straight in. In this case, no news is a good thing

I would contact data protection/ information governance or pals at the hospital and raise a case

The person for the data stuff is called the Caldecott Guardian. They will take this appalling situation very seriously.

Besides the massive neglect and selfishness of him. And the failure of the hospital to safeguard your child’s information, they have also put YOU at direct risk.

They have rescheduled the appointment so that your violent ex would then know when it was and be able to attend- which could result in anything! They haven’t even considered the risk it could pose to you never mind your child!!

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caldicott_guardian

Type into google [your trust name] and “Caldicott Guardian” and get in touch.

Good luck and I’m sorry that you are so upset, anyone else would be too x

@OurChristmasMiracle

This. You need to put a complaint in to the hospital. Cant believe theyd be so irresponsible.

I think this is one of the lowest, most messed up things ive read on here. What a horrible bastard.

You do definitely need to complain, or at least raise a how did this happen query with the hospital.

Have you been to court regarding all the normal child responsibility things, is he on the birth certificate?

Definitely complain to the hospital.
Info on how is above.
Make them aware your son's case is with Women's Aid etc.

I've spoken to the hospital. He just called and cancelled. It hadn't been put in the notes properly about how he wasn't to have info. I'm starting to get really scared of him to be honest.

You need to put in an official complaint about the above OP - so it doesn't happen to someone else. Someone is responsible for safeguarding and for notes and they clearly have dropped a ball on this one

Have they
a) apologised
b) made sure it won't happen again?

Time for an official complaint to the hospital I’m afraid.

Stay strong x

I see that you've already had some great advice that you're putting into action, so just sending some virtual and my best wishes. Keep strong.

Hope the little one's rescheduled appointment goes well.

And to think I'll end up in court and he'll have access to our son. It's so sad.

The court won't give him access if he is endangering his son's life. That is outrageous behaviour. Honestly phone the police and get is logged.

@Nearlythere1 you'd like to think but I'm fairly sure he'll still have access.

He will argue that if the appointment was serious they would have had him in immediately. He has no reason to cancel it in the first place though. There was no reason I couldn't take him today. And to not communicate that to me either. I don't know what's wrong with him.

I'm so exhausted by it all.

Police and social services. You need it reported now even if it doesn't go anywhere right away. It's all ammunition.

You need a paper trail of all this for if/when it comes to court.

Stop being scared and start getting angry.

Raise hell with the hospital, let SS know and the police.

He has endangered your child. You can't do anything about the fact that he is your son's father now, but you have to toughen up and protect him.

Lower than a snakes belly

I spoke to SS. They said that it was an awful thing to do, but as I am a protective force and I'm looking after my son, they will close from their end. They were very supportive and recorded it anyway. Very glad they don't believe him to be in danger with me.

It is all about the paper trail heislost, this needed recording.

Now, find out who you complain to at the hospital for the data breach.

That is so messed up! Definitely make an official complaint with the hospital as there is no way this should have happened. They made an error in protocol and it should be corrected. An investigation should occur to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

I would contact the police as well so it is on record. This won’t be the last time your ex does something. The more you have logged the better for you in the end.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. 🤗💐

The police have been pretty useless. They've been trying to send someone from the DV team round to see me for weeks but never get round to it. I did a Clare's Law disclosure weeks ago and it hasn't been actioned yet (I phoned them yesterday to report my exes behaviour). SS weren't that interested which is good I suppose as they believe he is safe with me. Women's aid are amazing. HV is amazing. Solicitor is good too but am always weary...

I'm just shocked by him to be honest. I don't feel like this will be taken seriously in court as if they'd found something on the scan they would've called me in sooner. He will argue that the appointment wasn't that important. I can see all of this being brushed under the carpet to be honest.