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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be happy with this arrangement RE keys

72 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 11/04/2019 08:05

My lodger has a boyfriend who usually stays over one night in the week. He’s quite nice and cleans my kitchen when they’ve cooked, which isn’t bad.
However I left for work late today and realised what they do when he stays is she posts her keys through the door and he puts them under the bin, I assumed they live together. House is set back from the road and you wouldn’t get pedestrians knocking it etc but I still live in a big/bustling city... aibu to not be happy with this arrangement?

OP posts:
QOD · 11/04/2019 08:07

Totally agree. He leaves when she leaves or he drops the keys to her again.
I’d be ‘fumming’

Catchingbentcoppers · 11/04/2019 08:09

Sorry, do mean that she leaves before him, posts the keys though for him to lock up, then he leaves them under the bin so she can get in again? Sorry if I'm being dim.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 11/04/2019 08:09

Would you be amenable to a coded key safe if she paid for it?

Shoxfordian · 11/04/2019 08:09

Tell her they need to leave at the same time as it's not safe leaving keys outside

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 11/04/2019 08:09

Catching that’s correct.

I’d not mind a key safe I guess

OP posts:
WorkingItOutAsIGo · 11/04/2019 08:10

Since that would most likely invalidate your contents insurance it is completely unacceptable. I would be furious that they were doing this and would probably give her notice.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 11/04/2019 08:10

Key safes are notoriously not safe. They are a big flag saying here are the keys to my house.

Catchingbentcoppers · 11/04/2019 08:10

No, I would absolutely not be happy about this. They're leaving the keys to your home outside all day. That's a no from me.

Tryingtogetitright · 11/04/2019 08:11

Would you consider cutting another key for him? Cheaper than a keysafe?

LordWheresMyShoes · 11/04/2019 08:12

That sounds like what a lot of people do but it's perfectly ok that you're not okay with it. Insurance may not like the key under the bin and be invalidated, and if he's there when she's not he's potentially using more utilities than she would.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 11/04/2019 08:12

@trying I don’t know him that well, and if they fall out I’d rather some potentially aggrieved 6Ft + bloke didn’t have a key to my house.

OP posts:
Catchingbentcoppers · 11/04/2019 08:12

Key safes are notoriously not safe. They are a big flag saying here are the keys to my house.

Depends what kind you get. If you get one of the flimsy plastic ones and put it by your doorbell, that's not the best idea. If you get one of the police approved metal ones and put it in a discreet place, I think they're fine.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 11/04/2019 08:13

I may be missing something but, if your lodger lives with you, in your house, I don’t understand the statement “I assumed they live together”.

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 11/04/2019 08:14

@getoff I meant leave together. Autocorrect+cracked screen+fat thumbs +no coffee

OP posts:
TixieLix · 11/04/2019 08:26

I'd implement a rule that if she has an overnight guest, they have to leave at the same time in the morning. You shouldn't have random strangers having lone access to your house when you and the lodger aren't there.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 11/04/2019 08:28

I don't think she should be leaving him behind tbh

mummmy2017 · 11/04/2019 08:30

Easy . Just get a spare key cut, leave it on a hook away from the door, put it in a massive keyring,. And he can use that and post it through the door, get your lodger to sign an agreement, that if any keys go missing, she will pay to replace all the locks....

Langrish · 11/04/2019 08:31

My house, they’d leave together, no argument. You need to check your insurance if they don’t, with some policies occasional unnamed keyholders will invalidate it.

Catchingbentcoppers · 11/04/2019 08:33

Well that too, to be honest. I don't think he should be there when neither you or your lodger are there. You don't know him.

Whereareyouspot · 11/04/2019 08:36

No not on at all
He leaves when she does

Tbh I’d feel weird having a man I don’t know well still in my house when I’m otherwise alone there anyway. Overnight guest is one thing but him being there alone it’s right.

Catchingbentcoppers · 11/04/2019 08:36

Just get a spare key cut, leave it on a hook away from the door, put it in a massive keyring,. And he can use that and post it through the door

No I wouldn't do that either. I don't think he should have access to the keys at all. The OP doesn't know him and she made a very valid point about if the relationship were to break down earlier.

DingDongDenny · 11/04/2019 08:39

I wouldn't even wait to discuss it. I'd remove the keys from behind the bin and give the lodger a good telling off.

mummmy2017 · 11/04/2019 08:41

This is about the OP and if she wants her insurance valid, and only she knows if the boyfriend of her lodger is trustworthy.
The key in the hook stops a key being left outside for anyone else to use.

notacooldad · 11/04/2019 08:44

I would be furious that they were doing this and would probably give her notice
Don't you think it would be more sense to ask her not to do it anymore first rather than jump in and ask he to leave? She probably diesntcreslisexshe is going anything wrong and doing what countless people do every day.
If she carries on after a chat, fair enough.

lyralalala · 11/04/2019 08:44

Tbh I'd be seriously pissed off that she hadn't checked with you that you were happy for him to be in the house when she's not. And livid that they were leaving the key outside. That's really not on.

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