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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think friends DS has stolen my iPad?

88 replies

tiffanygoldduck · 11/04/2019 02:19

Quite sensitive and very upset I’m having to post this.

My best friends son (14) has stolen from us before- last time it was a games console

Basically what happened was- DDs old PlayStation 4 (she just stopped using it) was sat in the wardrobe in our spare room. Friends son came to stay for the weekend and obviously took it then. Few months later DD asked me where it was, we couldn’t find it and I remembered my friend saying her son had brought himself a PS4 and she didn’t know where the money had come from. Basically I sent her a text a long the lines of “I don’t wish to accuse him, but DDs PS4 is missing is there any chance the one your DS has hers”. Didn’t have a problem with him keeping it in honesty, even though I was a bit pissed off he had just helped himself, but friend made him give it back a long with flowers for me and a gift voucher for DD. And so it was left at that.

Anyway he came and stayed again about 3 weeks ago- and then yesterday when he was here with my friend, asked to use my iPad. I hardly ever use it and told him I didn’t know where it was. He just came out with it randomly with a bit of a sly look- he had been happy enough on his phone, which was charging, for over 3 hours

Anyway the cogs in my brain started turning today and I’ve turned the house, the cars, had my mum looking in hers and DH looking at work. Neither him or our DDs have reason to take it as they all have their own. Regardless I asked them and all have said they haven’t seen it or used it.

It’s literally disappeared.

AIBU to bring it up with my friend?

OP posts:
Thatsashame · 11/04/2019 02:22

Yanbu. But tread carefully and maybe say if this is going to keep happening then meet in a different place not your home. How did he sneak these things out? They are quite big to hide in your jacket

accendo · 11/04/2019 02:24

Use the find my iPhone app.

Smotheroffive · 11/04/2019 02:35

You raised it before with less basis,and your friend was very amenable and did the right thing by you. Bearing in mind his weird behaviour most recently, actually asking to use it...its weird, and his slyly bringing it out...its all.odd.

Seems the obvious next step.

Would then stop him coming around in future because he's not trustworthy. Just meet up out with friend. Sad.

unexpectedgifts · 11/04/2019 06:34

You can trace the location of your iPad.

If he has taken it, he's likely to charge it, so you'll be able to track it.

If it's uncharged it will remain invisible.

TidyDancer · 11/04/2019 06:50

Oh what a horrible situation. It does sound like your friend knows what her DS is capable of though, so hopefully if you can bring this up sensitively you won't damage the friendship. It seems fairly obvious he has stolen it, i would definitely do the find my iPhone thing suggested by others, you will have proof then prior to talking to your friend.

Nairobe · 11/04/2019 06:58

I do agree with treading carefully given you had no idea where the ipad was before it went missing, however this thieving little shit is sly and needs the police calling on him.

Don't have him around again or if you do then tell your friend (after this) that next time you will call the police.

FenellaMaxwell · 11/04/2019 07:00

Why did you have him back again when he’s already stolen from you?

MsMarvellous · 11/04/2019 07:00

@accendo has the right plan. Check you find your iPhone app, you can locate your Mac and iPad too. It will Show you roughly where your device is (I guess you had it setup?). You can then see if it's at your home or not.

Margot33 · 11/04/2019 07:00

Yes just ask if she's seen an ipad.

eddielizzard · 11/04/2019 07:01

Yes I'd used the find my phone app, failing which I would ask her again. And I wouldn't let him come round again.

cliquewhyohwhy · 11/04/2019 07:02

I'm also shocked why you would of had this child back when he had stolen before!

PositiveAttitude · 11/04/2019 07:05

If he was the last person to use it yesterday then just ask his mum to ask him where he put it when he had finished with it as you can't find it now.

jemihap · 11/04/2019 07:06

Just innocently (in a non-accusatory way) ask your friend to ask her DS where he left the ipad after he'd finished using it as you're not able to find it now.

Leave it for her to hopefully join the dots and question him further.

Bankofenglandfiver · 11/04/2019 07:07

I’d do what others have suggested. He was the last to use it, I can’t find it, where did he leave it.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 11/04/2019 07:07

I can’t get over him stealing a PS4 and you having him back in the house. And saying you’d have been happy for him to keep it. Are you made of money? I thought you meant a ps2 to start with. PS4 is still in the hundreds of pounds category.

I’ve just checked and my iPad doesn’t show on find my phone. No idea why as all the devices are on the same Apple ID. I can find the phones from the iPad but not vice versa.

jay55 · 11/04/2019 07:08

It's not like it is a packet of crisps or something small he's stealing. It's things worth £££ and could get him in to serious trouble.

Bankofenglandfiver · 11/04/2019 07:11

And yes to what Yipee says. I wouldn’t have had him back in the house. A PS4 is an expensive item.

AgentJohnson · 11/04/2019 07:11

FFS, why are you knowingly letting a known thief back into your home? He’s old enough to know what he’s doing.

Perty01234 · 11/04/2019 07:13

Use find my iPhone, or text the mum saying “when you get a chance with you ask X where he left my iPad yesterday? Searched high and low and can’t find it... imagine it’s just been put under something but it’s not surfacing.”

RickOShay · 11/04/2019 07:16

Why shocked?
The ps4 could have been a one off situation, there’s nothing shocking here.
Op I would mention it to your friend, she needs to know.

RickOShay · 11/04/2019 07:17

Known thief Grin
blimey

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 11/04/2019 07:18

Where you went wrong was letting him back in the house after the PS4!

Get your ds to text this "friend" along the lines of "mums about to phone the police cos her iPad is missing...have you seen it?"

Amongstthetallgrass · 11/04/2019 07:19

Oh my niece did similar. It’s a horrible feeling and yes ask her. Good idea to try the find my iPad app first.

willyougobacktobed · 11/04/2019 07:19

Just do find my ipad, screengrabbing any proof and ask your friend to ask where he left it.

StrongTea · 11/04/2019 07:20

I read it that he didn’t use it but asked where it was, making the op then wonder when she had last seen it. Whatever way it is wouldn’t be having him back in my home.