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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
FranticToddlerMum · 10/04/2019 16:10

You did nothing wrong OP. The posters saying you did are probably the same idiots who let their kids make a huge mess of the soft play area with their food and drink. MN is also predominantly middle class - £2 for a fruit shoot is nothing to them and they can't get their head around the idea that isn't true for everyone. You saved up for your children's food and drink and you were careful of it by keeping it at your table like a considerate person.

Connieston · 10/04/2019 16:11

YANBU - It would be polite for you to offer and for her to refuse. Drinks shouldn't be in the play area.

FranticToddlerMum · 10/04/2019 16:11

@Reastie

Why should OP replace it when it was the other woman's fault for leaving a drink in an area where drinks aren't even permitted. The other mum can take the (tiny) risk and let her child keep drinking the drink or she can pay for another one herself since it was 100% her fault.

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 16:12

I admire you, OP. I'd have felt bullied into replacing it and then kicked myself afterwards Grin

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 16:12

order did you miss that DS is only 2?! he was in a softplay were the general rule is anything in there is for playing? of course i teach my DC not to touch other people's things but i think you're asking a bit much of a 2yo!

i would be reasonably convinced that had DS taken the drink off their child i would have been made aware of that fact - so if that did happen they didn't see it and DS clearly indicated he had found it on the floor.

OP posts:
PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 10/04/2019 16:14

YANBU you'd have to be an inconsiderate dick to let your DC have a fruit shoot in the play area where it will probably get spilled. You'd have to be an idiot to leave it on the floor of the play area expecting it to just magically remain there and you'd have to be a massively cheeky cow to then expect someone else to pay for your own stupidity when it gets moved and drunk.

SemperIdem · 10/04/2019 16:14

Yanbu.

I’ll never cease to be amazed at how precious some people are.

butteryellow · 10/04/2019 16:14

I wouldn't have - it was abandoned in the middle of the floor (where it really shouldn't have been) - in this allergy sensitive world, the person leaving a drink unattended where any kid could pick it up was the unreasonable one - what if her kid was brewing a coldsore or a bug, and she's now exposed any 2 year old who picks up the bottle?

And yes.. given what is often found in the ball pit at soft play, some other kid taking a glug of your fruitshoot really is the least of the germs you're going to encounter!

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 16:15

This is one of the many reasons why I will never take my kid to soft play. Far too many undesirables around that are hard to avoid in such an enclosed area. Shouldn't be drinking that shit anyhow!

Ah, now you're talking. I love a sniffy post on an afternoon Grin

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 10/04/2019 16:15

@SoftPlayStandOff

This is AIBU it's at least 50% populated by people who are going to tell the OP they ABU whatever, actually reading what happened and using a little bit of common sense is asking too much!

Reastie · 10/04/2019 16:15

Frantictoddler I said I thought it would be the polite thing to offer to replace. Tbh it sounds like bother parties were a bit lacking in this virtue in this situ.

DontPanic42 · 10/04/2019 16:16

If someone else's child drank out of my kids drink, I would never have dreamed of asking the parent to replace it, these things happen, YANBU, the other mum was being precious

HundredsAndThousandsOfThem · 10/04/2019 16:18

@Reastie

I've just read the whole thread and It wouldn't have been polite. OP saved for this trip for weeks and can't just throw money away. She did nothing wrong. The other mum was both cheeky in allowing the drink in the play area in the first place and careless by allowing it to be abandoned on the floor. Why should OP suffer the consequences of someone else's carelessness when she can't afford it?

OP I agree with PP YADNBU. Other mum was both daft and cheeky.

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 16:18

reastie i only suggested it as that's what i would have done in the same situation had it been reversed. I wasn;t in any way agressive, more confused as it was a complete non-issue to me and I didn't understand how this could be a big deal. i don't see how it can be rude to suggest (politely) the course of action i would be taking myself had i been in their situation?

It's not that i'm unwilling to listen to other opinions but as this thread has shown, opinion is very divided and the ones that agree with me agree for the same reasons as me - it was on the floor and unattended in a toddler area - it was bound to happen. why would i change my mind when half the people agree with me? Nothing i have read has given me a reason to change my mind - actually the reverse as there are few things ihadn't thought of - like it shouldn't have even been in the play area anyway!

as i said, had everyone said i was U i would have had to reconsider - they haven't but quite a long way so i will keep my first opinion of the situation.

OP posts:
hipslikecinderella · 10/04/2019 16:18

I would not have offered to replace it, but once asked I would have done so to be honest.
But my kids only had water at those places so I'd have been more likely to offer a replacement cup of water!

NoCleanClothes · 10/04/2019 16:20

YANBU her entitlement is ridiculous!

No Food and drink in the soft play? I'll just ignore that.

Should I watch my child to check they don't leave their stuff lying around on the floor? No I'll just insist every other parent stops their toddlers touching things on the floor of the soft play!

Yabbers · 10/04/2019 16:21

Replace the drink CF.

NoCleanClothes · 10/04/2019 16:21

I actually think OP has been much more diplomatic on this thread than most would have been. Most posters have agreed with OP anyway yet the few who thinks she is BU imagine that OP should instantly agree with them despite being in the minority.

livefornaps · 10/04/2019 16:22

The entire place sounds really manky and full of feral kids Grin

BoredTutor · 10/04/2019 16:23

YANBU what kind of CF abandons their drink in any area no drinks are allowed and expects the other parents to look after it for them! Stupid behaviour. Glad you didn't replace it OP!

InACheeseAndPickle · 10/04/2019 16:24

I agree with most PP YADNBU.

Don't leave drinks lying around the soft play! Anyone with half a brain cell could work that out for themselves.

PinaColadaPlease · 10/04/2019 16:25

I would have replaced it although I don’t think the child should have had a drink in the play area.

Reastie · 10/04/2019 16:25

Op did you calmly and politely explain to the other parent that you had saved for the trip, that you didn’t have the spare money to pay for a replacement bottle, that you were sorry your dc drunk from the bottle but it was left unattended in the play area not in the drinks area?

If that’s the case then I’m perfectly happy to concede that ywnbu but I took your post that other parents friend asked you to replace bottle and you laughed at her.

FrancisCrawford · 10/04/2019 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 10/04/2019 16:27

@Reastie
Are you serious? Why the hell should OP explain her financial situation to a cheeky cow who should never have asked for a drink replacement in the first place. The other woman was rude to even suggest OP replaces the drink. She broke the rules, she didn't watch where her child left his drink and as a result the drinks needs to be replaced. None of this is OP's fault. Of course a 2 year old will pick up a drinks bottle abandoned on the floor of the soft play.