Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
lily2403 · 10/04/2019 15:56

I'm with you i wouldn't have replaced it especially after they insinuated your son was yuck germy (eyeroll)

Now if it been on the table and he went up and took it, i would replace but being left in the middle of soft play, kids are going to pick it up...plus i don't let my child take food and drink into the softplay as its not allowed (safety issues)

PegLegAntoine · 10/04/2019 15:56

Middle of the floor? YANBU. Nicked from the table/buggy or the child’s hands or something then YWBU.

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 15:57

For the sake of 70p or whatever I'd of replaced it. Your child drank someone else's drink regardless of how much

Where the hell is your softplay where fruit shoots are 70p like? Grin

OP they were being cocks, first for allowing it in the play area around a bunch of toddlers (double fail) and telling you twice to replace it. Fuck them.

Ignore the self righteous posts. I honestly don't know what's come over this place lately.

Baconmaker · 10/04/2019 15:57

@AuntieCJ

You obviously didn't RTFT or you're an idiot. If you leave drinks lying around the floor of the soft play and they get drunk it's 100% your fault. No questions.

feebeecat · 10/04/2019 15:58

YANBU. Think I would have had to point out that it shouldn't be in there in the first place & your toddler was just doing his civic duty in removing it.
If they felt that precious about the thing, they probably should've kept it on a table/appropriate place to start with Confused

Order654 · 10/04/2019 15:58

@Baconmaker - or just teach your kids to not touch other people’s stuff. At the age of 4 they know better then to drink or eat food of the floor.

IceCreamFace · 10/04/2019 15:59

Of course YANBU you would have to be massively entitled to break the rules of the soft play by bringing a drink into the play area and leaving it on the floor and then expect someone else to pay for it when it gets spilled/drunk/thrown away. If I saw a drink lying there I would have picked it up and thrown it in the bin.

MarvinMarvinson · 10/04/2019 16:00

I wouldn't have replaced it. And quite honestly I'd have been pissed off they put MY kid in the position of potentially picking up THEIR kids germs because they didn't stop him taking his drink in the play area. It pissed me right off when people let their kids wander in and out with food and drink, leaving a trail of mess that other kids end up plastered in.

If my kid had swiped off a table then yeah I'd have replaced but in this scenario it's their own stupid fault.

IceCreamFace · 10/04/2019 16:01

or just teach your kids to not touch other people’s stuff. At the age of 4 they know better then to drink or eat food of the floor.
he didn't know it was on the floor his toddler brother gave it to him. Sorry but 4 year olds will drink a drink their brother gives them they're thirsty and toddlers pick up anything off the floor and hand it out. It's plain stupid to lave a drink on the floor of the play area and expect it to be waiting there when you get back. Only an idiot would do that.

cricketmum84 · 10/04/2019 16:01

@ShirleyPhallus our opinions need to be validated by the menz before they can be accepted. Universal fact. Hmm

IceCreamFace · 10/04/2019 16:02

@Order654

Or how about YOU teach YOUR kid to obey rules and not bring drink in the play area and then YOU teach YOUR kid not to leave their drink lying around the floor of the play area? Sound good?

azulmariposa · 10/04/2019 16:02

Doesn't matter if it was unattended or not. You should've replaced the drink. You should also teach your children not to touch or take things that are not theirs.

NomNomNomNom · 10/04/2019 16:04

Of course YANBU and @Order654 your rudeness and level of cheek is laughable. The drink shouldn't have been there in the first place and shouldn't have been left lying around on the floor. You can't lecture toddlers for taking someone else's drink when that someone else was breaking the rules of the soft play and leaving their stuff insipid places in the first place!

SeaToSki · 10/04/2019 16:05

I think they were BVU to allow their DC to take a drink into the soft play area. What if a DC with allergies had picked it up, or it was spilt and a DC with allergies got it on them. That is why food and drinks are not allowed out of the cafe area in most places with small DC who dont understand about their own allergies yet.
She should have been minding her own DC better and are lucky you werent reporting her to the staff

Aragog · 10/04/2019 16:05

I'd have automatically offered to replace it.

If it had happened as a reverse to me - I wouldn't have asked for it to be replaced though. I'd still offer myself however.

RedForShort · 10/04/2019 16:05

Unreasonable not to replace a discarded drink? No of course you're not OP.

I wouldn't have, nor would it occur to me to ask for someone to replace a drink my toddler had discarded (should I somehow have been able to distinguish his bottle for all other Fruit Shoots in the softplay).

If the toddler has taken it off the other directly then that's a different matter. This bottle had been discarded from the sounds of it.

JessieMcJessie · 10/04/2019 16:06

You missed a trick OP. There would have been a sign somewhere saying “No food and drink in play area”. You should have pointed it out and told her that she was lucky it hadn’t spilled on the floor and messed up the play area for everyone. She was a fuckwit to give her kid the drink in the first place.

RainbowWaffles · 10/04/2019 16:06

YANBU. I would have complained to her about not supervising her child properly and allowing them to take a sticky fruit shoot into the toddler play area where it clearly isn’t allowed. I would also have complained that her negligence led to my child consuming a fruit shoot, shock. She is an utter moron. I HATE it when children take drinks and food into the play area and they get spilled and it gets all sticky.

As others have said, if it was on a table I would have profusely apologized and purchased a new one unprompted.

Sounds like you were actually very reasonable in the circumstances, I wouldn’t have had the patience for their constant loud complaining.

FranticToddlerMum · 10/04/2019 16:07

YANBU unattended on a table? You should have replaced it. On the floor of a soft play? NO WAY! She shouldn't have brought it in there in the first place. I would have picked it up and chucked it if I'd seen it lying there. I hate people who let their toddlers trail food and drink all over the play area leaving a massive mess.

Order654 · 10/04/2019 16:07

@IceCreamFace it wasn’t my kid so I don’t need to teach MY child anything and if it was my child that picked it up and drank it I would of offered to replace it and not been so tight fisted like the op.

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 16:08

to clarify - the 4 year old didn't drink it off the floor - he drank a drink 2yo brother had passed to him, he thought it was toddler DS's (and my kids quite happily share their drinks bottles when needed so that in itself isnt a problem to me).

I stated i would have replaced had it been swiped from a table/bag/pushchair. It wasn't.

When DS (4) told me DS (2) had given it to him i asked DS (2) where he got it and he pointed into the middle of the soft play area on the floor. nowhere near where any parents were sitting.

Clearly this is dividing opinion!

My DC had had the same drinks with their meal so its quite understandable that DS (4) assumed it was his brother's.

And this trip had been planned for months, taking advantage of a special offer and I had budgetted to the penny for the kids meals as it was something they really wanted to do and have for ages. i do not have spare £, even a couple of them!

OP posts:
Jinglejanglefish · 10/04/2019 16:08

YANBU, it wouldn't occur to me to replace it or have it replaced in the reverse situation. 'germs' is not a good enough reason. Soft play is probably one of the germiest places ever, if your scared of germs don't go.

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 16:08

You should've replaced the drink.

Bullshit.

Why should the other kid be allowed to bring a drink where it wasn't allowed then leave it like rubbish on the floor, only to be compensated with a new drink? It would have been reinforcing that he can do what he like, when he likes, with no consequence. His mother was a CF.

No one on this thread has said they would have insisted on a replacement in the reverse, they've only said they'd have bought a new one to basically save the peace.

rubyroot · 10/04/2019 16:09

This is one of the many reasons why I will never take my kid to soft play. Far too many undesirables around that are hard to avoid in such an enclosed area. Shouldn't be drinking that shit anyhow!

Reastie · 10/04/2019 16:10

Op I think you will only listen to the replies that agree with you. Fwiw I think the other woman was rude to come over and ask you to replace the drink BUT I think it was also rude that you didn’t offer to replace it. To refuse to buy another drink and tell her to wipe it with a baby wipe and use it anyway was rude. And no, sharing an unknown child’s drink and going to soft play is not the same germ wise. Not unless said child is licking the soft play as many bugs can be caught orally which going to soft play and then good hand washing would reduce the risk of. I don’t expect you to take this on board and accept it as you seem unwilling to agree with any opinion other than your own.

If I was at soft play and another child drank from my child’s bottle I’d like to think the parent would offer to buy my child a new one, I may well decline this offer but would think it polite to do so. If my child drank from someone else’s bottle I would offer to buy a new one for them.