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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
Twofingers · 11/04/2019 18:49

Suppose a child had a severe allergic reaction to food/drink that had been left in an area where food and drink is prohibited?

littlewhitething · 11/04/2019 18:52

Presumably their kid drank from it before your kid! YANBU

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 11/04/2019 19:54

Can’t believe this is still rumbling!!

nuxe if you had bothered to read even just my posts you would know that they are not making assumptions, I clearly stated that it was a gated soft play toddler section and my 2 year old picked it up, handed it to my 4 year old who drank it as he assumed it was his little brother’s drink and it doesn’t bother me if my kids share drinks.

Still seems 50 50 on this then!

OP posts:
Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 11/04/2019 19:57

I’m also now wishing I’d thought to turn it round and be outraged back at her that she had left her kid’s germy drink where my poor little poppet could get at it.

OP posts:
TigerTooth · 11/04/2019 20:14

If I were her I would never have asked for it to replaced but I wouldn’t have let my child drink it after yours.
If I were you, I would have replaced it.

Pegnes · 11/04/2019 20:32

Wow YANBU.

I actually can’t believe the audacity of them coming over and actually asking you that. It was a simple mistake made by your young son.

If it was the other way around I would never have dreamed of asking someone else to buy me another.

In this situation I would have probably just bought one because they asked but you were within your right to refuse. They shouldn’t have left the drink alone in the first place and like others have said, it’s a soft play place & full of germs anyway!!!

jwpetal · 11/04/2019 20:36

I think it is very rude that you did not replace the drink. YABU. I had this happen to me and I was at the table. The children took the drink and drank it before I could stop them. My son has severe allergies and the children had been eating (parents allowed them to walk around). So my son had no drink and the mother didn’t replace it. She got mad at me for telling them off. She said they do it all the time and didn’t understand the problem even after I explained the situation.

ittakes2 · 11/04/2019 20:36

Sorry but yuck - wiping it does what exactly? I would have replaced it but agree with you if they were so concerned it should have not been left where it was.

HarrysOwl · 11/04/2019 20:38

To be fair, Petal, that's a different situation.

Dancingbea · 11/04/2019 20:43

Yanbu. People are so ridiculous. It was left in the middle of a soft play.

Pegnes · 11/04/2019 20:45

This thread still makes me laugh. I have read most of the ‘YABU’ responses and feel as though you have all forgotten or not understood that these are young children we are talking about. Children who do not yet understand that you can’t pick up a random drink and pass it to your brother who starts drinking it. If this was the same scenario in a pub and someone drank my pint while i went to the loo then yes i would expect it replacing but not a bloody fruit shoot left in a soft play area 🤦🏼‍♀️

BottleOfJameson · 11/04/2019 20:47

@jwpetal

That's completely different. If I was in a cafe I would make damn sure my toddler didn't grab stuff off people's tables. If I was in a soft play area I would expect people to obey the rules of not bringing food and drink in so I wouldn't be watching them like a hawk as I would in a cafe. In a soft play toddler's can grab what they like (except other children). That's the joy of soft plays you can leave them to their own devices more than most places.

BottleOfJameson · 11/04/2019 20:50

@nuxe1984

As everyone has already pointed out OP said that as in 99% of soft plays no food or drink was allowed. OP wouldn't have expected to need to stop her toddler picking up random drinks as they shouldn't have been there in the first place! I'm sure OP does watch her toddler very carefully in the restaurant area but she shouldn't have to be so careful in a soft play area.

millespadpuddy · 11/04/2019 22:58

If it was left in the middle of the floor I wouldn’t have replaced.It it was my child’s drink I would have replaced the drink myself and left the other parent in peace.Anything for a quiet life 😂

ElizabethMountbatten · 11/04/2019 23:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

littlebillie · 11/04/2019 23:14

YANBU

Reallyevilmuffin · 11/04/2019 23:25

From a table yes I would, basically if old enough to be around the food without an adult next to them old enough to know not theres. From the middle of play no way, she could jog on.

So YANBU, and I actually think not only that but the other lady is a CF having a blatant disregard for the rules and expecting that not to happen in a pen full of toddlers.

nuxe1984 · 11/04/2019 23:32

For goodness sake people, stop being so precious!
We are talking about children here who do things they shouldn't. I'm a mother, aunt, stepmother, grandmother, great aunt .... and have also worked in education for over 30 years so have quite a lot of experience.
Children don't always see gates or barriers.

Also, sometimes it's just nice to apologise and offer a solution even if you're not in the wrong. Okay maybe the other child shouldn't have had the drink in the soft play area but then you could argue that the other child shouldn't have picked it up.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

And maybe a bigger person would just have apologised and replaced the drink? Nothing wrong in being nice. Nothing wrong in a bit of tolerance. Nothing wrong in being nice.

If we all did this perhaps the world would be a better place.

vintanner · 12/04/2019 00:07

You say you keep your kids drinks with you, so why did your child think the one in the middle of the play area was theirs?
You should have replaced the drink.

jwpetal · 12/04/2019 04:46

Nuxe 1984 what a great response. I agree. Why make the fight. Let's support each other and give a positive solution instead of condemning each other and show kindness.

JUstme123456778 · 12/04/2019 06:30

If it was the other way around I would have just bought another drink if it bothered me. It’s not like it’s a fortune Hmm
Honestly...people...

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 12/04/2019 07:24

vintanner because the child who picked it up is only 2!

I dont think i 'made a fight'. i was calm and polite and apologised several times. She was the one who sent her friend over and then proceeded to bitch loudly about me.

it's interesting so many say 'if it was me i wouldn't have bothered to ask you to replace, but in your situation i would have replaced it' - why a double standard? I have said already that in the reverse situation I would have said nothing, wiped the bottle and got on with life. So I was only applying my own standard to the situation.....it wouldn't have occured to me to ask for a replacement or even be that bothered (ignoring the fact my DC would not have taken a drink into soft play in the first place) hence i was suprised and assumed she was joking when she asked for a replacement.

OP posts:
savageswimmer · 12/04/2019 07:25

She could have just unscrewed the top and poured it into a cup surely?

paranoiamumma · 12/04/2019 07:31

If it was my child's drink that your ds had drunk ,it wouldn't of crossed my mind to ask you to buy another one , I would of wiped it clean or bought a new one myself , I certainly would of never asked you to.
In a soft play area theses things happen all the time .

starmummio · 12/04/2019 07:58

I wouldn’t have replaced either