Should I replace child's designer coat?

[happyrain]

DS punctured a hole in the arm of a classmate's coat while playing with a stick during breaktime this week. The children play in a wooded area so stick play is not unusual there, although I have of course had stern words with DS about stick games and being careful and so on.

Parents of coat-child naturally aren't happy. I have offered to have the hole professionally repaired but no, they want us to replace the coat. I'm guessing the coat is some sort of designer one as they want the best part of £200 from us.

Whilst I completely accept my DS's responsibility for the damage I am not sure that £200 for a small puncture hole is entirely reasonable.

Any thoughts?

Plus, you really don’t know it was DS. A teacher saw DS standing next to the kid when the kid noticed the hole, doesn’t mean it happened then or that it was DS.

They were ALL playing there, that’s the risk idiot parents take sending him in an expensive coat where they’re allowed to play in the trees with sticks 🤷🏻‍♀️

The kids have gone to school in expensive things sometimes for various reasons (usually when they love something but are about to grow out if it etc, irrelevant why) I don’t expect it to be treat any different than a Primark item AT SCHOOL. That way madness lies!

I think offering to get it repaired is the right thing to do. Then they are back to original position.

OP are you seriously willing to accept full responsibility when there were no witnesses and your DS has denied doing it?

@happyrain PLEASE tell me you’re not considering offering any more than the cost of a repair (and get your own quotes if you’re even considering that!).

“Sorry, but even IF my child accidentally caused the damage - and there’s no proof he did - it’s your choice to send your child school in designer clothing, not mine. I have offered you X which is sufficient to repair it; I will not be paying one penny more.”

End of.

Have you responded to this person?

Mine are at school in fairly expensive designer coats at the moment - fiver from the charity shop so I'd be annoyed if someone deliberately wrecked them, but accidents happen while playing.

Tell her to sue you for it. I can just see a judge reviewing the case... 8 year olds in the woods playing with sticks... a coat gets slightly torn... why are you wasting my time with this?

No! Absolutely not.

I think it's being generous to offer to fix the hole.

Their own fault for sending kid in expensive clothes.
Offer to buy them a matching patch

They're not entitled to a new coat, a professional repair is an acceptable response. You've made that offer and it's their choice to refuse it.

Tell the other parents that holey clothes are a badge of honour, OP. They certainly are at all the schools my DC have attended. They all look very smart from a distance, but horrendous close up. The uniforms aren't cheap, either (which is why they all end up with holey second hand stuff).

Other than that, you sound like a very kind person, and your offer is extremely generous. If the other parents were anything other than CFs, they would never have mentioned it, on the grounds that children's clothes stand a pretty good change of getting damaged at some point.

Tell them you're sorry it happened but that's school life and these things happen in the playground. You're willing to pay the repair but if they want a new coat then that's their problem.

Ridiculous.
Your Offer is more than generous. I sometimes get my kids nice things (more for me than them) - wouldn’t dream of ever taking money for repairs or replacements. A really egregious case of damage I might have a bit of a moan but no more! Stick to guns OP.

No you offered to pay for the repairs which is enough. God I don't even own a £200 coat myself

I was going to say do not offer to pay anything. Then I saw that another poster Collaborate had already written exactly what I wanted to write. Your son is not old enough to be legally liable for damages. You cannot sue a child. You would sue the care provider at the time of the accident eg the childminder. Then they would need proof of the cost of the coat (a print out of the same oneon the Internet is not enough proof, they would need a payment receipt as they may well have paid £5 for it from Oxfam). They would also need to prove malicious intent. How do you know the other child didn’t deliberately run into the stick he was holding? There are too many what ifs and uncertainties. Do not pay. It sets a bad precedent. What happens if another stick accident happens next week? If you pay once, then you set a precedent of paying. For other posters saying what would happen if you crashed into somebody’s Ferrari then you would pay. Yes but that would be an adult situation. It’s not comparable to this. Write a reply that says “due to the high amount you are asking for, I have been forced to seek some legal advice. The answe is no. We will not be paying for the damage to the coat. Best wishes” then leave it at that and do not engage further. The burden of extracting damages then falls to them and it’s probably in everybody’s interest if they get told this by a legal professional so that they learn not to send their child in such expensive clothing again

Don’t be bonkers! As if you’d pay for that ffs!

Kids clothes get ripped in school. They’re lucky that coats not gone missing yet as I swear DD lost one a year in Primary.

Absolutely ridiculous. Repair money is more than generous. I’d actually laugh if any parent in primary thought a ripped £200 coat would be a billable item

If the child 100% knows it was your ds then either a) they were playing a game just the 2 of them and both consented or b) your ds deliberately targeted him with the stick therefore that's how they know it's him.

Otherwise if there were 4/5/6 + children playing then anyone of their sticks could have damaged the coat.

As for the cost. That's up to them what they spend.

However I can't ever have imagined even batting an eyelid if ds clothes for holes in. I truly believe you only buy clothes you can afford to replace.

However if I knew a child deliberately damaged my ds clothes through play he was consenting in (eg hit him with a stick) I'd have been angry too.

Lunde
What happened? Please say you didn't replace the phone?

To all the PPs saying "it's the other child's fault for playing in the woods" I do just want to point out we don't know if this other child regularly DOES play in the woods. Perhaps he doesn't and was only there at the invitation of the OP's DS. He probably wasn't, but we are all rather making an assumption that they were playing equally. I'm sure not EVERY child in the school plays in the wood every day???

Having said that, I do very firmly believe that we're about to go into the summer term, the coat won't be needed again until September and most likely the child will need a bigger size by then or shortly after, so I strongly suspect these parents are trying it on and are being massive CFs!

Oh and ps..my son goes to school in a jasper Conran jacket that I paid nothing for. It was a hand me down from family so how do you even know they paid a penny for that jacket?

@Welcometotherock
[ . . .] I accidentally ripped a mates coat when I was 11 and tried to sew it (very badly) myself.
Her Mum probably wasn't impressed when she saw it but nothing was said even though I know it was an expensive one but my Mum would have offered to repair it had she known .

If any of my DCs' friends had taken responsibility themselves for repairing damage at primary age, however botched a job they did, I'd actually be very impressed with their sense of responsibility and initiative. Maybe your friend's mum felt the same way. :)

Winter coats are pretty hardy, I would imagine it would have to be a very sharp stick to cause a puncture, whose to say the kid didn't damage it some other way and is blaming your son so they don't get in to trouble ?

£200? The professional repair is more than decent of you but if it looks like it's easier to pander to their "label" obsession just offer to replace it yourself so that you know you aren't being taken for a ride.

No, I wouldn't replace a designer coat. I'd offer the price of a mend like you have.

Send her the link to this thread on messenger 😂

Oh yes in the unlikely event that you do pay for a new coat, (which you shouldn't,) make sure they buy the same size not the next size up! It does sound like they are maybe just wanting you to shell out for next year's coat not this. So buy it yourself and keep the receipt yourself, don't just give them the money.