Should I replace child's designer coat?

[happyrain]

DS punctured a hole in the arm of a classmate's coat while playing with a stick during breaktime this week. The children play in a wooded area so stick play is not unusual there, although I have of course had stern words with DS about stick games and being careful and so on.

Parents of coat-child naturally aren't happy. I have offered to have the hole professionally repaired but no, they want us to replace the coat. I'm guessing the coat is some sort of designer one as they want the best part of £200 from us.

Whilst I completely accept my DS's responsibility for the damage I am not sure that £200 for a small puncture hole is entirely reasonable.

Any thoughts?

As mum if 4 and a teacher - No.
£200 designer wear is not suitable school wear.
Top - tip - if you send young children to school in a hooded coat, get one that has poppers, not sewn or zipped on - they love to hold on to hoods and gallop around and also catch each other by the hood.
My school had to intervene in parental scraps over this and insist on no hood or popper’d hoods and remind parents that clothes do sometimes get damaged in play.
Back to your situation - they may have bought it on eBay for all you know, I think you’ve been really reasonable. If it carries on being an issue - ask the school for support.

@Yabbers

Generous? You think it is generous to offer to pay to fix something your child damaged, especially when that child had been warned not to do what they were doing?

Yabbers, stop twisting the OP's words. Both boys were playing with sticks. OP has previously told her son not to play with sticks but she wasn't there to tell her son no do it when this happened.

Anyway, glad it's sorted OP.

I know many posters have said this but I cannot conceive of people buying a small child a £200 coat for school (or anytime), I just can't. It's obscene imo. I know people can do whatever want with their cash but it's incomprehensible to me. I'd be embarrassed to tell a teacher that. It's more than they earn in a day.

Good for the TA! I’m appalled that a parent would send their child into school in a chav-city Burberry jacket. That’s what I’d call simply foolish and asking for trouble. Kids will be playing, some roughly. Send them in easily replaceable stuff, surely?

I wouldn't offer anything! Who sends their kid to forest school in a designer coat? Or even who sends their kid to school in a designer coat full stop?!

Astounded that someone would spend £200 on a school coat for an 8 year old. My DC’s school uniform duffle coats are £90 each and I nearly fainted at that! However, the first one I bought has had six years of wear and has been passed on still going strong. Anoraks are not nearly as robust so there is no way I would spend a huge sum on one to wear for school. Crazy!!! Tell them you will replace it with one from Next if you are feeling generous. Otherwise offer them an Asda or Sainsbury’s coat!

I'd like to see a receipt for the damaged coat!

I wouldn’t dream of sending my son to school in a close to £200 coat no matter how easily or not we could afford it! I would expect something like this to happen. I’d expect the teacher to be giving the parents some sensible advice and that they have no right to demand recompense of a new coat! If it was my child in the expensive coat, I’d be cros that it was damaged, but blame myself entirely for being a muppet.

This happened to my DS's coat recently- I figure that it's wear and tear- if the parents are willing to spend such ludicrous amounts on a child's coat, then it's a risk they are willing to take when children are children playing as they do.

I repaired my DS's coat and didn't mention anything to the school or the other parents. Think the other parents are being a bit precious about their child's coat.

If it was an accident I think it’s very unfair that they suggest anything.Bumps,bruises,mucky clothes are in my opinion a sign of a happy childhood!

If anyone pays for a repair it’s the school for not supervising adequately.

Oh fuck off.

As I tell all the parents and students, don't bring it to school if you will be upset at it getting damaged or stolen.

Tell them to get a better coat if a stick can puncture it! Show them a better one for like a tenner now as coat season comes to an end and shops clear out for summer stock. I mean the child will barely use it before a new one is needed for next year.

I bet he just snagged it on a branch, got scared and blamed it on his friend. Much easier to do than poke a hole in a coat. I mean, has that ever happened to anyone else? With an under 5?

I would steer clear of this lot. They seem like trouble.

Have you told the parents you are retracting the offer for the repair?

Who the hell spends £200 on a coat for a child? Especially one for school where of course it's going to see a lot of wear and tear?
Tell them it's either a professional repair or they can get stuffed.

I would to be honest, it's a new nice coat and your child spoiled it.

I work in a secondary school and we have this all the time. Even though the kids are a lot older than OP's DS they still mess about wrestling, chasing each other around etc at breaktime and items (designer coats, iPhones, fit bits, expensive handbags, and on one occasion a very expensive professional standard camera that belonged to the students Father) do get damaged. On several occasions I've been asked to intervene in disputes between parents about replacing damaged items and my response is always the same: "I'm afraid if you/your child choose to have expensive items in school then you do so at your own risk." We tell parents that anything that is precious to them or their child (either for financial or sentimental reasons) should be left at home.

As a rule School shouldn't get involved in disputes between parents. But we did have a situation where a student accidentally spilled something on another girls designer item during an art lesson causing damage. The girl in question was mortified and very apologetic but the parents of the girl whose property got damaged were furious and demanded it be replaced. The girl who did the spilling started getting messages from the other girls friends telling her she was out of order not to replace the item. Her Mum rang me in tears as her DD was so upset and being ostracised. I knew for a fact that this family genuinely didn't have a pot to piss in and were actually going through a very tough time. In the end I spoke to both the student who owned the designer item and her DM and told them that the nastiness and demands for money needed to stop as it was getting completely out of hand and proving a distraction from both the girls learning.

No no and no again, it can’t be a very big hole and it will without doubt be mendable. What on earth makes a parent send a child to school in a designer coat. We all know that children don’t Play carefully at school so it was bound to get damaged in some way. Accidents happen and you have offered a solution.

If it was down the seam it would be really simple to repair, and the repair would be completely unnoticeable. Why on earth would they buy a new coat?

I wonder whether the mum has now sent messages to the mums of the children who were pulling him around... 🤔

Yeah, I’d definitely be buying a new coat for Little Lord Fauntleroy.

@M4J4

Which words were twisted exactly? Had the child been warned previously not to play with sticks? Yes they had. Was the damaged coat caused by playing with sticks? Yes it was.

Not a single word was twisted.

And it’s still not ”generous” to offer to pay to fix something your child has broken. Only a cheeky fucker would decide to was.

@Yabbers
It not broken. Still works! And if you went round replacing everything your child had accidently ripped dropped or scratched you wouldnt have a pot to piss in.

They took the risk sending child to school with a coat worth a fortune. I would assume that anyone taking that risk could also afford to replace when their things get damaged in such a Situation. Or they wouldn’t thave bothered

A £200 coatcthatvcabt withstand a little stick poking is really overpriced. I think offering to repair is a good solution.

No way. Direct them to George at Asda.

I'm glad to read your update. I was about to write that unless a teacher saw your child maliciously damage the coat I wouldn't lay a penny, even repair. I was surprised the other teacher got involved in mentioning your child having a stick in his hand if they hadn't seen him use it! I'd be cross with that teacher who has actually been the real cause of this stress, what about innocent unless proven guilty?

School shouldn't have got involved without irrefutable proof of who was responsible and whether it was a deliberate act.