Should I replace child's designer coat?

[happyrain]

DS punctured a hole in the arm of a classmate's coat while playing with a stick during breaktime this week. The children play in a wooded area so stick play is not unusual there, although I have of course had stern words with DS about stick games and being careful and so on.

Parents of coat-child naturally aren't happy. I have offered to have the hole professionally repaired but no, they want us to replace the coat. I'm guessing the coat is some sort of designer one as they want the best part of £200 from us.

Whilst I completely accept my DS's responsibility for the damage I am not sure that £200 for a small puncture hole is entirely reasonable.

Any thoughts?

I think legally youd just be liable to pay for a repair or the replacement of a similar cost

Absolute bull. Is there CCTV of her child causing the damage?

I think it is wrong to judge them for paying £200 for a coat, they are perfectly entitled to spend whatever they like.

However, I think a repair or the equivalent cost of the repair is a very fair offer. A new coat is ridiculous, especially considering it won’t be worn for much longer this year. They probably want the next size up ready for next winter!

I wouldn't judge anyone for spending £200 on a kids school coat. But I would judge someone who spends that much on a coat and expects another parent to pay for a replacement.

If you send a kid to school in such a coat you must be prepared for and Accept the fact it may get damaged. And to be prepared to swallow the cost of repair or replacement yourself.

I wouldn't even offer £50. Tell the parents sorry but you can't afford it and also your son said he didn't do it.

Were they not supervised at school ? Stick play is not on the curriculum

Please let this be a joke.

Children play. With sticks, sometimes. And no, it's not "on the curriculum", fgs.

Do not pay up, the parents are trying it on. CFs! Who sends their kid to school in a £200 coat, knowing that they'll be playing in woodland? Ridiculous. It could just as easily have been caught on a tree.

Message back politely to say that whilst you're happy to pay for the coat to be mended, you will not be paying £200 for a new one as you believe this is disproportionate.

I'd just reply with "Thanks for your message. Based on the school's assessment of the coat being reparable, I'm happy to pay the cost of a repair" and repeat the exact same message (as often as necessary) if they continue to insist you pay for a replacement. They'll either give up or give in!

I'm still not altogether sure you should offer anything op. Damaged clothing whilst playing in the wood is par for the course, however since you've already offered to repair I don't suppose you can back out now. But you are being very reasonable offering.

I wouldn’t even offer to pay for the repair. But then I wouldn’t dream of asking a parent to pay for any damage either (unless it was done deliberately, and even then I wouldn’t have high hopes of getting them to cough up - plenty of people don’t have money for food around here so paying for coats is way down on the list of priorities).

@Whathappenedtothelego Expensive technical coats are understandable, but they are not £200 designer coats. I run a lot of outdoors activities as my 2nd job, 1st job is as a TA, so lots of time in our cold wet playground too, once you get above about £60-£70 on kids coats you are just paying for the logo.

Schools are not liable if children's clothing gets ruined due to nature of play. Therefore there is no way a fellow parent would be. I wouldn't even countenance offering a repair.

I once got a handwritten apology from a 6 year old due to a torn pair of woolly gloves but more because DD was upset and he felt bad. I just told him accidents happen.

This is why my DC start the year in supermarket gear which gets progressively paint spattered and wrecked throughout the year. Good job they usually outgrow it before it becomes thoroughly unwearable.

Some parents can VVVVVU about things like this.

I had a parent who demanded that we pay to replace her little darling's latest iphone despite
a) he was using it in contravention of school rules that said all mobiles must be handed in (and kept in a locked box) during the school day, and
b) he was using the phone to bully my DD

I think legally youd just be liable to pay for a repair or the replacement of a similar cost

This isn't true. A parent or guardian is only liable for damage caused by a child if they were negligent in failing to prevent the child from causing the damage. OP wasn't even there and had perfectly reasonably entrusted her child to the care of the school.

The school were in loco parentis so if anyone is potentially liable it's them. However they are very likely to have excluded liability for property damage, and whether the level of supervision could be described as "negligent" is also pretty questionable.

@Lunde 😱😱😱😱

I would offer repair costs if my DC had deliberately damaged it but in a play accident I wouldn't.
I certainly wouldn't buy a new coat.
I would tell them to take it up with the school as you weren't there or responsible for your DC at the time.

Yes morally it would be a different case if a child had deliberately damaged a coat.

Good grief £200 for a child’s coat?! Decline the invitation to buy a new one but keep the offer of having it professionally mended. They are children and wear and tear on clothes is expected. I think offering to fix it is fair and more than lots of people might do.

OP, the mother could have bought it for £40 off EBAY for goodness sake! Do not give her £200.
Offer to have it repaired, end off. If she says no thats fine. Her loss.

They are chancers. A professional repair will see the coat restored to a perfectly usable state. It would need to be ruined/ beyond repair to justify asking you for replacement costs.
I guess it was a fake/ hand me down/ second hand/ charity shop find/ not worth £200, and they are trying it on as they see a chance to weasel some money out of you.
Do not pay to replace it. Your offer of a professional repair is all that is required.
Horrible situation to manage though- the parent/s sound like grasping cheeky nightmares. You have my sympathy

The children are 8 years old? Hilarious! 8 year Olds play rough together and sometimes things get scuffed or broken. Such is life. This is why we don't send our little darlings out in designer gear for school, and why we don't give our toddlers crystal champagne glasses for juice.

Can you imagine this situation happening 30 years ago? The other child's parents would have bollocked him for playing rough in his best coat and wouldn't have dreamt of replacing it. It probably would have been an old hand me down anyway if it was just to wear to school. Times have really changed.

Hang on! Nobody witnessed your ds making a hole in the other boys coat. A teacher saw your ds, with a stick, standing near the other boy.

The only words I would have for a parent who expects me to pay £200 for a replacement coat, especially when there is absolutely no proof that my ds caused the damage would be, "Jog on".

Your ds can't be held responsible, he's too young. You weren't there. If anyone is liable (I don't think anyone should even be making this an issue) would be the person supervising the children's play - AKA The School.

Would the parents demand the teacher buy her ds a new, designer top and trousers when he gets covered in glue from an art lesson? CF probably would

Who the f** sends their kid out in a £200 cost?? Ridiculous!
I would be offering the cost of an average new coat at best. £30 should do it.

It happened while they were all PLAYING, it wasn’t malicious.

Their child, their coat, their problem

There’s NO WAY I’d expect another parent to repair or replace something the kids did while playing.

IF you do feel compelled to pay, definitely do not pay any more than you’d pay to have a normal kids coat repairs. £15 MAX.

But I REALLY think you’d be mad to pay.

If they are daft enough to send a young kid to school in a £200 cost them they are crazy! You have offered to have it repaired and that’s more then enough.

In case it was missed, Collaborate who I believe is an actual lawyer posted this

I wouldn't offer anything.

Your son is not liable in law (he's too young).

Anyway their son was playing the same game, so is equally to blame.

They are reckless sending him to school in such an expensive coat.

Even were they to have grounds to sue, they would have to sue the adults responsible for supervision (ie the school), and satisfy a judge they did not take reasonable care. Even then they would get the lower of the cost of a professional repair or the second hand value of the coat.