Single mums are great in bed but no good for a relationship...

[Kerolina]

This is what I was told today, amongst a group of colleagues on a KIT day. Apparently because they are usually idiots who used a man for a child or are no fun anymore as they only do kiddy stuff. But apparently are 'gagging for it' as they're no good at relationships do don't get regular sex (anyone else thinking wtf? They all laughed and agreed). They don't know that during my maternity leave (currently on) I left my abusive DH and am now a single mum. My manager knows and is very supportive but it's confidential so nobody else knows. They have no idea I'm single. I didn't have the energy to question it. I left very quickly and sobbed in the bathroom.

Why am I so upset over this? I'm so fragile and I hate it.

Your colleagues are idiots and need challenging

I really, really wanted to challenge them but my eyes were filling up and I am just so fragile I couldn't bring myself to.

Was this a discussion that took place in your workplace or in the pub afterwards?

Wow, what massive arseholes. It's not you, it's them. I'd be looking for a new job, or spending as little as possible time chatting w them as possible.

It was in the kitchen area at lunch time.

I love my job and have no doubt that most of the people in my office would be sickened by what they said. I can't afford to leave. I would be struggling to find anything as good and flexible if I did. I wasn't really involved in the conversation I just happened to be making tea in the kitchen at the time so was sucked in to it a bit.

So that's in work then. I'd raise it with your line manager. That is not OK and they need to be told to wind their stupid fat necks in.

YANBU.

I find a lot gets said as office "banter" which really is a load of nonsense and people don't actually believe. I bet they would be mortified and ashamed of themselves if they found out now about your situation. But it was very insensitive and I would have reacted the same in your shoes. You would be totally in your right to complain.

I'm so sorry it's hurt you so much

It shouldn't be you that leaves, if anything they should go.

It's just horrible to be made out to be damaged goods like that! Even if it's not true. Amazed it was said so openly but I guess they didn't realise I was single and they're all blokes.

I’d definitely report this, but don’t be upset, it isn’t true in the slightest (obviously) and they’re very stupid if they really do believe this

What disgusting attitudes. Sorry you let them upset you OP but most people don't think like that so don't think they do. Good for you, finding the strength to leave an abusive relationship though. If you did feel strong enough and had told them all that I bet that would shut those moronic assholes up

I don't think that's an opinion shared among the majority of men, its just a few idiots talking rubbish for the sake of conversation.

I know several mums from my social circle alone who have separated from their DCs fathers and not struggled to find themselves a serious relationship later on down the line.

I'm sorry their thoughtless drivel has hurt you and I totally understand why it has, but don't let it play on your mind as it really is total bollocks.

It sounds ridiculous but it honestly just felt like the abuse was continuing, just at work and inadvertently.

It’s a statement I have heard many times before, and I suspect there may even be some truth to it after hearing a number of blokes over the years say it was their default approach to low commitment dating for the reasons stated and that it was generally successful.

Nobody there will have known enough of your situation to have meant it to hurt you and I suspect they would be mortified if they knew.

Take some time to let emotions settle before deciding how to proceed. Well done for getting out of the previous trouble and the best of luck with whatever comes next.

Oh please, you are worth ten of any of them. And you bloody know it. Head up, remember that you have done the absolute best for your DC and yourself and deserve a medal. These wankers are mean-spirited arseholes who aren't worth peeing on if they were on fire.

Single mothers are rock stars. And if we lived in a world that valued the actual worth of humans, we would all know that. If a man left a bad relationships, worked, had the DC most of the time and also did the housework, they'd be throwing a fucking parade.

YANBU, it must be horrible to work with so many morons. I’m sorry you have to put up with it, it’s not on. ‘Banter’ is almost never funny.

Don't take it personally.

Just recognise that they are twats.

Someone else put the same post up a couple of weeks ago. You really need to take this further with work, OP. They shouldn't be talking in such a disgusting way at work.

HR straight away OP. They need a verbal slapping.

@HollowTalk really? So this is an actual thing then?

So this is an actual thing then?

Sexist nobbers have ways to reduce women of any age and situation to sex. Cougars, MILFs, a few more repulsive ones. It says everything about them and nothing about women.

Sexist nobbers have ways to reduce women of any age and situation to sex. Cougars, MILFs, a few more repulsive ones. It says everything about them and nothing about women.

^ This. It says more about them than anything else.

Just file them away as twats and move on. Unfortunately, a lot of people feel this way. Just be aware of it in life.

Basically, it is just their 'excuse' for their own bad behaviour.