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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu - to want to get to 8 stone

85 replies

user1471514421 · 09/04/2019 14:38

Hi all

Hi everyone

I have recently joined mumsnet, received great advice on another thread, so thought I would get your thoughts on something else that is bothering me.

Before I had my children I embarked on a healthy eating regime, eating well and exercise to prepare my body as such.i was 10st 3lbs. My weight was approx 9st 3lbs when I fell pregnant, I am 5ft 4. I had 2babies 14months apart, the eldest just turned 3.

Following each birth i was, looking back, probably obsessed with getting my weight down and back to 'normal'. I am now 8st 6lbs, am still not happy and feel now my ideal weight would be 8st, this is the target.

However, I am not sure if I am on a route to something else here. I find I think frequently about my weight and am prone, to what I have now discovered is body checking, particularly my hip bones, throughout the day.

Am I headed in the wrong direction or is this a normal weight loss goal?

OP posts:

SerenDippitty · 09/04/2019 15:13

Much depends on your frame size. I'm 5ft 2 a largish frame and 8st would be much too low for me. I went down to 8.5 st 5 years or so ago and it didn't really look good.

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 09/04/2019 15:17

I think you need to ask yourself “why” you want to get to 8 stone, if it’s just because you like the challenge I’d be careful.
It should be because you feel better and healthier at a lower weight. The time it becomes all about the weight rather than being happy with body is when you shouldn’t lose more.

Original poster

user1471514421 · 09/04/2019 15:23

MikeUniformMike yes so thankful my body has given me two beautiful healthy children

OP posts:

RomanyQueen1 · 09/04/2019 15:23

Your weight is fine for your height, if not underweight.
I'm aiming for 8st, it's within my healthy range but I'm only 4ft 11.
You really don't want to lose anymore.

alittlesnow · 09/04/2019 15:30

Why do you need to be 8 stone, if you were 10 st 3 before having kids?

downcasteyes · 09/04/2019 15:33

I am the same height as you, and thought the same was - it was an ED. I ended up sinking below 7 stone and looking and feeling awful. There was one day in particular when I swear I could actually feel my organs struggling inside me. I really felt bad and it scared me into starting to eat a bit more.

Try to be happy with where you are, which is great. There is such a thing as too thin, both in health and in visual terms. And speak to your GP.

MikeUniformMike · 09/04/2019 15:37

OP, you sound around the same height as me. I would consider exercise as it will give you body confidence. I look best around the 8 and a half stone, unless I am working out a lot in which case 9 or so is great. The number on the scales is just a number. I am currently just below 8st, and can't exercise because of an injury and I look scraggy.
You should be feeling your hips and feeling wow - my lovely body has pushed two new lives into the world, thank you body.
Big hug.
MUM.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 09/04/2019 15:41

I think you have identified that it isn't about the numbers - it is about the mindset that is becoming intrusive in your life.

The fact that you have never been 8st before suggests to me that it is a random number you have chosen to aim for. The fact that you are giving a lot of your attention to this "goal" and to checking your body do seem "headed in the wrong direction".

If you can't switch it off and you feel that it is taking more space in yuor life than it should, I would get some help. Maybe counselling would help you understand why you are thinking the way that you are?

ginghamtablecloths · 09/04/2019 15:43

I'm sorry but at your height 8 stone is too light in my opinion. You sound perfectly all right as you are.

KingLooieCatz · 09/04/2019 15:47

I'm the same height as you and when I got below 9.5 stone people were worried about me and I felt boney. IIRC just under 9.5 was bang in the middle of the healthy range for my height.

GreasyHairDoNotCare · 09/04/2019 15:53

I get it OP. After I had my son I was around 8st9. So then wanted to get to 8st and I did. I then wanted to get to 7.5st and I did. Then to 7st and I have. And now I'm not going to step on the scales again as I know if I've put on even a pound I will want to get back to exactly 7st or worse under. I'm 5ft2 btw.

Siameasy · 09/04/2019 16:13

When you fell preg at 9.3 were you happy with your weight then? What is it you’re unhappy with? If it’s shape or flab then exercise would be better. Plus it does good things for your mind.

Sunonthepatio · 09/04/2019 16:21

If you are 5/4, you would not be allowed below 8st 4lb at Slimming World, I think.

Wallywobbles · 09/04/2019 16:21

I'm the same height as you and my lowest ever weight was 55kg and that was doing 10h of sport a week pre kids. I also had a 19 inch waist if I remember correctly . You're looking at 50kg so nearly a stone less, you'd need to be very petite and fine boned for that to be healthy.

Home77 · 09/04/2019 17:03

It basically sounds like the dieting after having kids has prompting an eating disorder, as you were Ok before that. there is a site online called Beat with a helping on there if that helps any. Well done for recognising it isn't right, some people can be in denial with eating disorders- we have this with a family member, and getting help sooner rather than later seems to have the best outcomes.

Home77 · 09/04/2019 17:04

a helpline I mean www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

managedmis · 09/04/2019 17:05

Depends what build you.

I'm 5'4 and around 9.5 stone, if I was 8 stone I'd look very skinny.

Original poster

user1471514421 · 09/04/2019 17:51

Exercise is a good point. I suppose the lower I get the more I want, 8st seems like a nice even figure.

Yes I was happy at 9st 3, I was a regular at the gym and felt my best ever. I do seem to be focused on the number rather than having a particular issue with my stomach or arms etc

OP posts:

Home77 · 09/04/2019 17:58

"Yes I was happy at 9st 3, I was a regular at the gym and felt my best ever."

Maybe that tells you something, then, maybe better to focus on feeling your best and stop the weighing / checking etc...before it develops into something more.

Not sure all the comparing / weighing etc on this thread is all that helpful either.

stopgap · 09/04/2019 18:11

I’m 5’7 and 8.5 stone. I carry weight in my midsection, boobs and face. So at this weight I’m still a 32D and don’t look gaunt.

At 9 stone I start to look really out of shape and have a significant belly. It honestly depends on your build.

Original poster

user1471514421 · 09/04/2019 18:14

Home77 it want my intention to start comparison, just trying to see where I'm at and if this is a normal goal

OP posts:

Original poster

user1471514421 · 09/04/2019 18:17

How is build determined? I have an hourglass shape

OP posts:

BlackPrism · 09/04/2019 18:20

I thought the same thing, and 8stone is healthy for our height. The problem is if you will be able to stop at8st. I developed bulimia and am just about recovered 5 years later... I'm 9stone again now but at least I have all my teeth still.

BlackPrism · 09/04/2019 18:24

It's not your build that is risky, it's whether your mind will accept stopping at 8st. When you get there you might think 'oh I'll lose 2 more pounds so that if I fluctuate I'm always 8 or under.' Then it could be 'but if I was 7stone 7 then I could really relax about it' and then '7stone seems OK, I'm not THAT thin' and infinitum.

Going for 8st is fine, if you know you will retain a healthy mindset.

Home77 · 09/04/2019 18:32

Sorry i know know it wasn't your intention to start any comparison, Op..I was meaning the other posters...to do that when someone is obviously showing signs of an ED...it's not very helpful.

e.g. "I’m 5’7 and 8.5 stone. I carry weight in my midsection, boobs and face. So at this weight I’m still a 32D and don’t look gaunt."

Does not sound healthy to me.

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