On holiday with dp and his parents.. AIBU

[bellareena]

On holiday with dp and his parents. Didn't realise how hard it would be! Am I just being really nasty here or does anyone else get what I mean... there's no privacy, Mum keeps mothering him and making remarks "he's got a poorly leg watch out" that was me just passing by his legs (dp had a motorbike incident prior to the holiday)
I just feel suffocated. Not helping with dp as he's just listening mostly to them, whatever they wanna do he does not thinking of the kids at all. I feel I can't complain, this was dps Christmas present from "us" he's paid for it all and I know I should try stay put n let them enjoy their holiday but it's hard, we have another three nights and four days. It just feels all too much
Should I say something? It's annoying as we're staying in a gite n it's very compact so u can hear convos from even upstairs !! I don't dare say anything incase they hear!! Maybe I feel a bit left out because they're both sitting in the front with dp in the transporter - I'm at the back with the kids which isn't any fun picnic, feels like I'm a babysitter if anything. I feel guilty for these thoughts 

disfordarkchocolat - I am spitting with envy!

Hang in there OP. This is really tough, but just get through the holiday. I think you may need to rethink your involvement with them longer term, even if it means having to pay for more childcare. 3-4 days a week is ridiculous when you are so different and don't get along. It must be eating into your time together, and any time you have to see other people (other family, friends) and do other things.

No idea why you’re letting them dictate so much. Just grab your DC and do what you want to do, stuff them.

"No idea why you’re letting them dictate so much"

It's hard to explain. I am not a conflict avoidant person. I'm opinionated, feisty, and pretty assertive (in a way that I hope stays on the right side of aggressive). People would in no way describe me as a people pleaser or a shrinking violent. But even I find the dynamics in my DH's family very hard to resist. I can only describe it as a system of 'smothering coercive control' - it's like being in the presence of a massive planet whose gravitational pull keeps you completely fixed to the spot. An attempt to exit and do your own thing outside of the incredibly fussy, noisy, attention-seeking behaviour requires such an input of energy and commitment that it is actually easier just to stay and go along with things in an increasingly suffocated state than to leave and feel guilt-ridden for doing so. Introverted people, like the OP, often find it really hard to deal with the level of social contact and explanation verging on argument that such commitment requires.

Sorry, just realised that it sounds like I'm the OP - I am not! Just someone who has some of the same issues with my own inlaws.