To not send my child to nursery?

[BeanBag7]

I have one daughter who has just turned 2 and I am a SAHM during the day and work a few evenings in the week.

DD is doing (I think) really well: her speech and physical development is typical for her age; she is toilet trained day and night; she is a very happy child. We do a lot during our days such as play dates and toddler groups and we have passes to the local farm, NT gardens and theme park. At home we do baking and craft, puzzles and games and the occasional day of just being lazy and snuggling on the sofa. I'm planning to send her to preschool when the 3 year funding kicks in this time next year.

Recently I've been feeling under pressure from friends to put her in nursery during the week. They have been telling me how good it is for social development, how well X's speech has come on since starting, how many activities they do that we couldnt possibly do at home. Is she missing out on something and AIBU not to send her?

Your child is happy and so are you. Tell your friend to mind their own biz.

She's doing really well and she's going to toddler group. It sounds perfect.

I would because I am rubbish at art and craft so prefer to delegate finger painting and messy play to somewhere that is not my house and I don't have to tidy up! I also parent better when not nothing but a mum.
I am the opposite, for me art, craft and baking was so much easier than make believe play and had a finite time limit! (And cheaper than going to soft play etc!)
I have a creative job so i liked it when there was something tangeable that we had created or acheived at the end of the day (even if it was made of a paper plate and some tissue paper!!😂)

Us working parents tell ourselves that it’s great for our kids because it helps us to deal with the guilt of leaving them there

You do not speak for all working parents User!
OP, of course you don’t need to send your DD to nursery if you don’t want to. But please don’t be drawn into the trap of thinking that every parent who sends their 2 year old there feels guilty about it.

User148 I think you might be exaggerating a bit on the last resort front, we kept our DSs nursery place even after my temporary contract run out because DS likes nursery and his friends (he’s an only child so far and I don’t drive which does mean we are a bit limited on the days out front)

OP yanbu though as it sounds like you have a great set up with lots of activities, days out and play dates (my local friends either have babies or primary schoolers so not that handy for play dates)

Children start enjoying the social side of nursery from around age three so I’d keep her home until then if you have the choice.

That’s one of the reasons funding is mainly available for ages 3 up and for 2 year olds who might need the support of nursery activities. Three year olds settle much faster because they can understand they are there to make friends and have fun.

Nope. Mine didn’t go to nursery until the September after their 3rd birthday when they joined the school attached nursery. No ‘need’ for nursery before then unless you need it

YANBU. We were happy to use childcare to work but I wouldn't for any other reason unless urgent. I'd certainly not let friends pressure me into it.

YANBU. DS1 never went to nursery. I was a SAHP at the time (made redundant when pregnant) and didn't feel he would benefit from it given I took him to groups, socialised with other children lots and did all the stuff nurseries do as part of the early years curriculum.

And after having to put DS2 in nursery a lot, I feel I absolutely made the right decision. Our nursery was a really good one, but no replacement for Mummy before age 3 if it isn't needed.

• Sorry, I should have said Mummy or Daddy (or Grandparent/whoever). Very sexist of me and I typed without thinking as I had DS's serious Mummy clinginess in mind - nobody else would do at that age so I felt bloody awful putting him in nursery, but had no choice if we were to eat at all!

YANBU. 2 year funding is quite a new thing, plenty of children have done ok starting at 3!

Tumbleweed101
Children start enjoying the social side of nursery from around age three so I’d keep her home until then if you have the choice.

My DS aged 2.5 talks constantly about his friends at nursery, lists all their names, hugs them when he arrives, tells me he’s sad when they leave or go on holiday. He’s done this for at least the last 4 months or so. If that’s not “enjoying the social side”, what is?

If that’s not “enjoying the social side”, what is?

My son is exactly the same. I’m always non plussed by these blanket statements. Surely it’s obvious that all children are different?

My DS did both and has made closer friends at his social groups than at nursery 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why the 🤷‍♀️ Factsoflife? LaurieMarlow and I were just pointing out in response to Tumbleweed101 that you can’t make blanket statements about the age at which kids start to enjoy sociable environments. Nobody said that nursery was the only place they could be sociable.

You have no need to send her and don't want to. So don't.
It really is that simple.