To wonder if I'm the only one who

[ValidUser]

Laughs along with canned laughter to be sociable.

And never leaves a lone item on my plate in case it feels left out?

Anyone with any similar ones?

Whenever l get a new car, when l get out of the old one for the last time, l pat the steering wheel and say "thank you" very quietly..... waits for the men in white coats

I did say goodbye to the old shitbox before I got a new car.

Even now, shitbox seems disloyal.

I’ve thanked cash points.

When I pack my son’s toy story toys away I always say they’ll be back out soon - particularly to Jessie as I do worry...

I also reassemble mr and Mrs potato head so they can have a date night...

I can't hang the kids clothes on the bottom of the clothes horse by themselves incase they are lonely at the bottom. I can't go to bed and leave anything lying on the floor (that's not supposed to be on the floor) incase they get lonely, especially toys like dolls and Teddie's, but anything really. If everyone else has their feet up on the couch or the bed I can't have me feet on the floor incase a monster or a ghost grabs me, but if the kids have their feet on the floor I have to keep mine there too so the monsters or ghosts will grab me instead of them. I'm not bothered about DPS feet 😂.

I don't even think any of mine make sense to normal humans.

When buying fruit and veg I choose the ugliest/mis-shapen ones because I feel sorry for them and think no-one else will want them.

When I was little, my bed was next to a wall. I always put my cuddly toys wall-side and slept the opposite was, in case I was sick on them..not sure where I got there from. I’m now a fully grown adult, and still sleep facing outwards.

Like the beans, I have make sure not a single grain of rice or piece of pasta is left in a packet before I throw it away, or it will be sad.

I always have to give all my cats the same number of treats before bedtime, and before I let my chickens out in the morning I give them a quick summary of the weather so they know what to expect (apologising to them if it’s raining).

I always ask my dog/cats ‘are you hungry’ before I feed them! In fact I ask my pets quite a few questions!

If I touch wood I have to do it with both hands , and if while touching it I think of a number I have to do it to that amount. .. then if I think of another it can go on for ages ! And ages !!!

I blow kisses every night to my DS to the number I think of first and then one for luck

Sometimes when getting ready in the morning , or have a new item/product I seem to talk it through like I am a YouTuber. ... or just insane talking to myself

I have to get the teabag milk and sugar in the cup before the kettle boils!

there are more I am sure however I don't want to be taken away in a straight jacket!

crosser62
I have secret races with people.
I am Olympic medal good.
On a corridor I will beat my unsuspecting rival to the end. By miles.

Nonibaloni
I thought you were all nuts until I realised I tell the pets who’s going to be back when. And I leave a different one in charge everyday. Apart from 1 because twice when she was in charge things went wrong.

^Brilliant!

I tell my cat and dog where I'm going so they can estimate when I will return and so they know they can't come with me (e.g 2 or 3 visits, shopping etc) if he thought I was going to the pub or park he'd be beside himself if I left him behind but doesn't mind for work or shopping. I explain alot to the dog, he has excellent understanding language skills, I suspect the cat does but he doesn't care.

I tell the cat to be good, and that I will be back soon. I also leave the radio on for her - DP really disapproves of this, but he leaves before me in the morning, and gets home later, so...

I feel SO sorry for furry toys in charity shops. Their person didn’t love them enough. Not like my toys, who are now in their 40s and sit on the bed in the spare room. (One threadbare dog, one threadbare elephant, not every toy I ever owned, which would be weird.)

@lms2017 I used to "advertise" everything I used as a child! Must start that up again. 😂

I threaten amazon dot. When Alexa spouts her "I'm not sure, I can't answer that" shite, I threaten to cut off her electricity supply. She's a twisted bitch.

I recently sold my car to an online car buyer and it still hasn’t been taxed (so I assume no one has bought it yet). I’m torturing myself with images of it cold and alone at the back of a car lot somewhere 😂

@validuser usually I do it with an american twang too 😂 .

I am glad it isn't just me! ....

I work in a convenience store and last year I had to buy the only teddy that hadn't been bought for valentines day because I felt sorry for it. I don't even have young kids any more so no excuses.

We have a plate rack, quite high on the wall. When I put the plates away I pretend I'm Rachel Riley doing the Countdown letters, and always say Vowel or Consonant in my head.

I always thank the cashpoint for dispensing my money.

I talk to the apples in the fruit bowl-a slightly lascivious "Well, helloooooo" to the one I've chosen to eat, and a heartfelt apology to the ones left behind. I don't even pass the time of day with the bananas . ..

Also dh laughs at our 20 month old saying "bye bye" to houses etc when we leave. Doesn't know that it's because I do it. I always say bye bye to the house/car etc if we go away.

I also put the clean crockery at the bottom of the pile, so everything gets its fair turn

If I see a Teddy in the shop which has fallen over I sit it up nicely and always tell my dog how long I will be when I go out. I sit the dog's Teddy up so he can see out of the window.

Oh dear I am quite mad

I feel really sorry for inanimate objects when it’s the last one left too!
I’m always talking to the cat but she is a Siamese so she gets it (they talk a lot)

I used to (when I drove) feel terribly guilty when the SatNav said sternly "where possible, make a U turn" and always apologised to her.

You’re much more polite than me. I tell her to fuck off. 😂

I'm also terribly rude to the sat nav!!

I also say thanks back to the Tesco self service machines.

You must have better ones than our local Tescos as I usually mutter 'work you fucking thing' at them.