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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A question about dog friendly beaches

150 replies

SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 20:21

If you had a child that was obviously terrified of dogs would you take them to a dog friendly beach ?

Just asking because I had an experience that made me feel embarrassed and stressed . My dog is a lovely dog and having training but does get a bit over excited . We were on a dog friendly beach with him on a lead and lots of other doggy people with all their dogs running about said to let him off . So I did and he was fine coming back every time I called him. He played in the water and with other dogs . Then I saw him running to my right towards a family on the beach . I immediately called him and he came back to me and I put him back on the lead. But in those few seconds the girl was picked up by the father and was literally screaming and the mother was waving and shouting at my dog . Trust me I was mortified and almost in tears even though my dog had probably not got within 40 feet of them . But the child screaming obviously meant she was petrified of dogs and trust me there were a lot of dogs on the beach . And before you say yes I am taking my dog for more refresher training and I do feel bad .

OP posts:
DizzyPhillips · 08/04/2019 20:48

No I’m aware it wasn’t the question OP (I answered your question) but it makes me so fucking angry.

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 20:48

To be clear the screaming was hysterical and happened within about 10 seconds so I would say there was a real fear or phobia. I have grandchildren and would never want to see them that upset. I would not call the child a snowflake but would worry if they reacted that way close to a dog even in a lead. And I say that as someone who ended up in hospital after a dog attack ( not my own) . I used to walk on the other side of the street if I saw a certain breed of dog .

OP posts:
stucknoue · 08/04/2019 20:48

Ddog ignores both humans (except us) and dogs, his main love is spherical and green. I would love a child free beach because I'm fed up with people allowing their kids to pester him - now he will play ball with them for a bit but they won't stop and he gets overheated easily.

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 20:48

I live in Cornwall (not sure where you are) but there are beaches where dogs are allowed all year and some which have a seasonal dog ban. I think there are a very small amount which don’t allow dogs at all.

Anyway, as a parent I would expect dogs it be at a dog friendly beach, we are dog owners and love them but sometimes we may choose to go a beach with a seasonal dog ban. Mainly because DS has additional needs and is a little nervous of dogs approaching him but DD doesn’t bat an eye lid.

If they knew their child was afraid of dogs then they should of visited a beach with a ban in my opinion.

I do think care should be taken with dogs and kept on leads when a beach is heaving in the peak summer months (I’m talking if it’s a jam packed boiling hot kinda day) but otherwise I think families should expect there to be dogs on a dog friendly beach 😊

Most dog owners are pretty responsible and know their dog well enough to determine whether they should be on or off lead.

It doesn’t sound like your dog did anything wrong imo. 😊

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 08/04/2019 20:50

"I realise OP’s dog didn’t do that but lots of posters seem to think by even going on a ‘dog friendly’ beach, other people, who may not like dogs, suddenly have no right to personal space on that same beach"

No but if you insist on going to a dog friendly beach then just maybe you need to accept the possibility that you might just, I don't know, encounter a dog...?

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 20:50

I do realise that people have a right to personal space hence why I called him back as fast as I could . Unfortunately he can run very fast and very quickly . I said it was my fault for letting him get to far from me and that I will go to refresher training .

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 08/04/2019 20:50

“But does a ‘dog friendly’ beach mean dogs are entitled to go sniffing, licking or jumping up every child, adult or picnic? Padding wet paws or drooling over every blanket or towel? Surely dog owners should still respect other people’s personal space and property?"

Didn't take long for the usual MN shite about dogs to appear...

It’s not shite. Even on a dog friendly beach you should stop your dog hassling people. It’s dog friendly-not dog exclusive. But no, it’s daft to take a child who’s scared of dogs to a dog friendly beach. Maybe they didn’t realise? Several of our beaches stop being dog friendly on the 31st March.

PengAly · 08/04/2019 20:52

@Wearywithteens why dont you actually read the OP? Her dog didnt even get near that family.
Op, you or your dog did nothing wrong. Actually your dog seems very well trained. He came back when called. That family was over reacting and being very silly. Please dont worry about this.

Fyi MN is full of dog haters so done your hard hat...

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 20:52

Yes I agree perhaps they did not realise because this beach bans dogs from May to Sept . But it was obvious as soon as you got there because there were a lot of dogs .

OP posts:
optimisticpessimist01 · 08/04/2019 20:54

It was a dog friendly beach. Their parents are clearly over-protective about dogs, so they shouldn't have taken their precious child there. Sounds like a massive over reaction on their behalf. If they're going to react like that whenever a dog goes within half a mile radius of them, they shouldn't go somewhere where there's guaranteed to be dozens of dogs! Complete lack of common sense

YANBU OP.

Tootyfilou · 08/04/2019 20:57

You did nothing wrong... and neither did your dog. There are plenty of beaches that do not allow dogs... surely you would take your dog phobic child there.

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 20:57

I have learnt my lesson and trust me I did feel bad . Mainly because I don’t like getting responsible dog owners a bad name . My dog loves all people and all dogs but I totally appreciate that people are NOT aware of that . The recall training obviously worked . Walking to heel obviously went out of the window in the excitement of the environment.

OP posts:
PengAly · 08/04/2019 20:59

I have learnt my lesson and trust me I did feel bad

Op, in the nicest way...are you even reading the posts on here? Lots of pp have said you and your dog did nothing wrong so stop beating yourself up about it.

BertrandRussell · 08/04/2019 20:59

One of our beaches has become no dogs after April 1st for the first time this year. No living thing has ever looked as tragic as my little beast when I had to call her back into the car on Sunday.....

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 21:00

Actually on a good point while we were on holiday we had a lot of children ask if they could come and say hello to our dogs , and I congratulated every one for asking rather than just approaching. Totally the right thing to do .

OP posts:
Wearywithteens · 08/04/2019 21:02

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

VioletCharlotte · 08/04/2019 21:02

I've had the same thing happen to me. Dog friendly beach, loads of dogs off lead. My dog approaches two children who immediately start screaming hysterically. Dad yells at my dog and tells me to "put your f-in dog on a lead."

There are hundreds of dog-free beaches nearly, why not go to one of them?

Slicedpineapple · 08/04/2019 21:02

No if my child was that scared I wouldn't take them to a dog friendly beach.

If we see families on the beach I will put ddog on a lead just in case he wants to say hello. No one has ever said anything when I'm recalling him to put him on, but if they do I will point them to the many many no dogs beaches. There is only one beach dogs are now allowed on near us any time except winter.

We went to Wales for a long weekend a while ago and took a short ferry trip. Ddog is fine with boats and very chill on a lead. He settled in between my legs and sat with me as asked. A child got on and immediately started screaming at the sight of him. The mum got very angry and started shouting asking why dogs were allowed there - he couldn't have been more calm or restrained. The boat person (skipper?) appeared with his off lead collie, but put him on a lead, and suggested if she and her family had an issue with calm controlled dogs then they should wait and get a different ferry. It is annoying when your dog isn't doing anything wrong to feel like you have a lion on a lead rather than a bloody dog.

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 21:02

Thank you for your comments . The dog in question is a rescue and has been hard work .

OP posts:
starzig · 08/04/2019 21:05

I was on a supposedly dog free beach in the summer and still people kept taking their dogs on. All beaches and parks should be dog free

whitesoxx · 08/04/2019 21:06

I don't like dogs. One trotted across my picnic blanket today off its lead in a park where they have to be on leads.

Those owners were in the wrong, irresponsible and entitled. I told them as much.

However, you did nothing wrong so don't sweat it. If it's allowed and it's a dog friendly beach then it's to be expected.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 08/04/2019 21:07

"It’s not shite. Even on a dog friendly beach you should stop your dog hassling people. It’s dog friendly-not dog exclusive."

Except OPs dog did none of the things mentioned, so it's not just the usual MN shite, it's irrelevant shite.

OutInTheCountry · 08/04/2019 21:08

I live near the beach and have a daughter who was very nervous around dogs when she was a bit younger, this was after she saw a dog bite her sister so it's not something that she was taught.

To be honest it would never have occurred to me to check whether a beach was dog friendly or not before we went on, I would expect that most owners would have reasonable control of their dogs but I certainly wouldn't have freaked out if one came right up for a sniff, I would just have dealt with it. I suppose it depends on how severe the phobia is. I don't think you've done anything wrong to be honest.

WiltedDaffs · 08/04/2019 21:13

My son would want to be picked up and would look afraid of a dog.

He's not a "snowflake", he's not even afraid of the dog. However he is afraid of his face swelling up again (he's very allergic to them).

For that reason, I usually only take him on a beach with a dog ban (though have seen this being ignored in some places). The one exception was when we walked up to the Burnham-on-Sea lighthouse as it's on the dog friendly section of the beach.

I can't never take him places where dogs might be. That would be very limiting to never go to a country park, or even to get to the play area in our local park. So yes, I do have to pick him up and dog owners often tell him/me that their dog is friendly...I'm sure the dog is lovely, but that won't stop his allergies.

Silversky70 · 08/04/2019 21:17

Fucking hate dogs and love beaches. They're all dog friendly where we go, ruins most things. We like to go for a run sometimes and are always chased and one time even bitten. Usually we see the dogs but no owner in sight. Not you, op, but these are our experiences. Even dog friendly cafes now. Had to squeeze into a tiny cafe with a huge dog at my feet. Obviously we won't go again now it's changed. Such a shame but I know that it's dog walkers that bring the money in during the low season.

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