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AIBU?

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Original poster

A question about dog friendly beaches

150 replies

SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 20:21

If you had a child that was obviously terrified of dogs would you take them to a dog friendly beach ?

Just asking because I had an experience that made me feel embarrassed and stressed . My dog is a lovely dog and having training but does get a bit over excited . We were on a dog friendly beach with him on a lead and lots of other doggy people with all their dogs running about said to let him off . So I did and he was fine coming back every time I called him. He played in the water and with other dogs . Then I saw him running to my right towards a family on the beach . I immediately called him and he came back to me and I put him back on the lead. But in those few seconds the girl was picked up by the father and was literally screaming and the mother was waving and shouting at my dog . Trust me I was mortified and almost in tears even though my dog had probably not got within 40 feet of them . But the child screaming obviously meant she was petrified of dogs and trust me there were a lot of dogs on the beach . And before you say yes I am taking my dog for more refresher training and I do feel bad .

OP posts:
Barbie222 · 08/04/2019 21:21

If you've never had a dog and never thought about it, you might not be aware that there are doggy and dogless beaches. It wouldn't occur to my mother in law, for example, and she can't bear dogs. So I could see her going to a beach and freaking out at a dog off it's leash. Maybe that's what's happened here? Not to say that you were in the wrong OP, you had every right to bring your dog and let it play.

1633tonow · 08/04/2019 21:28

Was it Broadstairs? I’ve seen incidents like that there. It’s a doggy beach though!

RandomMess · 08/04/2019 21:39

Having had a child that was terrified of dogs, no I never took her to dog friendly/welcome places until she got over it (took several years).

Go to a dog friendly beach, dogs are going to get relatively close to you 🤷🏽‍♀️

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 21:44

I don’t think it’s a wrong area unless you are terrified of dogs ? That’s what I was asking ?

Of course there are families on dog friendly beaches it happens all the time ?

I don’t quite get your point .

OP posts:
fantasticdog · 08/04/2019 21:48

It’s so difficult. I have 3 dogs with various recall success at various times. My oldest dog aged 8 is by far the worst. He sees someone a mile along the beach and would shoot towards that person in an instant. He’s so friendly and boisterous. He’s loved and loathed!!! That’s why I always keep him on a lead and it’s such a shame that he can’t enjoy off lead time at the beach unless there is no one in sight. There’s always the winter months. Kids generally visit the beach in the summer whereas in the winter there’s less chance of coming across them. Some dog owners have got no insight into how their dogs behaviour may affect others. I totally understand why op let dog off lead. I always feel sorry for my old boy whilst my other dogs and the rest on the beach are running about having a whale of a time. My other dogs will ignore other people it if they show an interest they will listen as soon as I say leave. My oldest dog has been like this since he was a pup and training has had limited success because I’ve never trusted him enough to let him off where there are people. If I was to try it in a controlled environment I might be successful but because I don’t know I just don’t risk it. Your dog listened to you and recall so seems like they over reacted. They probably had a number of dogs bothering them and your dog approaching was the last straw

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 21:48

Barbie222

Yes I guess that could be true . Because there are a lot of beaches that don’t allow dogs or have a separate section we have to do our research before visiting whereas non dog owners may not even think about that . Good point . We are always very careful to plan before we go .

OP posts:
FenellaMaxwell · 08/04/2019 21:48

A woman started shrieking about my “vicious” dog on the train once. Said dog is about the size of a rabbit, looks like a teddy bear, was in a secure dog carrier at the time and we were sat right at the other end of the carriage. The only way she knew there was a dog on the train at all was people stopping on their way past us to comment on how cute the dog was - she hadn’t even seen the dog for herself. She actually tried to order us off the train. Hmm

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 22:08

FenellaMaxwell

That’s just ridiculous 😀

OP posts:
FenellaMaxwell · 08/04/2019 22:10

See? Vicious.....

A question about dog friendly beaches
1633tonow · 08/04/2019 22:14

FenellaMaxwell

Arghh keep him away from me!

😂

FenellaMaxwell · 08/04/2019 22:15

I think of her as being much like the rabbit in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”.....

OrangeSamphire · 08/04/2019 22:16

Well it depends.

If my children were dog phobic, I wouldn’t make a journey to take them to a dog friendly beach, no.

However, we live on the beach. It happens to be dog friendly all year round. I would be pretty pissed off if I couldn’t take my children there because of dogs.

Luckily my children aren’t dog phobic.

I do lament a lot of other dog owners I see daily on the beach though who won’t or can’t control their dogs. Particularly when I have mine on the lead if the beach is busy and they won’t recall their off lead dog.

MarieG10 · 08/04/2019 22:18

I'm interested in how you determine it is a dog friendly beach....assume there is a notice? All I have seen is notices of 'No Dogs'

It may be a dog friendly beach but the law still says you have to have a dog under control.

I was out walking last year along a public footpath and a dog was out walking with their owner. Not on a lead and it then proceeded to jump on me and then try to mate with my leg. The owner was fuming that I kicked it off me and said it was just being friendly....I rest my case. I'm obviously not dog friendly

OrangeSamphire · 08/04/2019 22:20

I agree Marie. It doesn’t mean it’s a US style dog park where they can romp around doing whatever they like. But that seems to be what a lot of owners think.

1633tonow · 08/04/2019 22:23

Marie

Councils produce lists of beaches where dogs are allowed. Like this:

“Dogs & their owners are WELCOME on the following beaches/proms:
GRENHAM BAY, Birchington.
EPPLE BAY, Birchington.
FULSAM ROCK, Margate.
SACKETTS GAP, Cliftonville.
PALM BAY, Cliftonville.
FORENESS POINT, Cliftonville.
KINGSGATE BAY, Broadstairs.
WESTERN UNDERCLIFF, Ramsgate.”

www.thanetcoast.org.uk/media/3270595/2016-04-Thanet-Coast-Dogs-TCP-pdf.pdf

Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 22:25

Yes again appreciate your comment . Some beaches clearly say when dogs are allowed and when they are not . . Others it is not so clear. And I did say in my previous post I appreciate the family may not have realised until they got there .

For dog owners the internet is great because it lists dog friendly beaches. But be assured I won’t be letting one of mine off the lead on a beach again until I am sure he will play with dogs only , stay close and have 100% recall . Which he did actually he just went in the wrong direction 😡

OP posts:
Original poster
SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 22:30

OrangeSamphire

That applies to dogs as well . We had lots of dogs coming up to our dogs , luckily they were all friendly but you don’t know that when they approach you . dog etiquette and training is a complicated subject . Personally I advocate dog licences and responsibility , but that’s a completely different subject 😀

OP posts:
chemenger · 08/04/2019 22:33

Nothing makes me want a dog more than seeing them running around on the beach, we regularly go to a beach in Scotland where the dogs outnumber the children, and it is brilliant to watch them have fun.
I love a US dog park too, dogs just being dogs. There is a dog park right in the middle of the public park here in Boston, not fenced off particularly and it doesn't seem to cause problems, the dogs are so fixated on playing together and with balls etc that they ignore everything else. It's clear to me that the UK is not a nation of dog lovers like the US is. People here love it when I talk to their dogs, everyone at home in the UK seems to be trying to render their dogs invisible in case someone complains about something.

RSAcre · 08/04/2019 22:35

in those few seconds the girl was picked up by the father and was literally screaming and the mother was waving and shouting at my dog

YANBU. The parents' action are reinforcing the child's fear. Maybe they even STARTED the child's fear.

It is their responsibility to train teach their daughter that screaming is an inappropriate response. Unfortunately, they are doing the exact opposite.

It may not have been possible in this instance, but people who are nervous around dogs (& I DO understand that many people are, & it can't feel pleasant) NEED to benefit from an exercise that can be learned in 30 seconds. I have taught this to random kids while out & about, & 90% of them have loved it, made it into a game:

Stand up as tall as you can.
Cross your arms across your chest.
You are Queen/King of the whole world! Put that expression on your face! Really mean it! Overact it, make it fun! But no smiling! Stic you chin up!
Look away from the dog, very obviously Remember - chin up!
Stand absolutely still. The dog might come close to you for a sniff, but will not touch you if you are Queening/Kinging it like this. Remember not to look at them & within a few seconds the dog will go away.
Really - this will make the dog go away.

Most people are v happy for their kids/themselves to learn this.

bobstersmum · 08/04/2019 22:38

I love dogs we have a dog. I love kids I have three of those. I hate people's dogs bombing up to the kids (especially little dd who isn't even two) and jumping up with muddy feet knocking them over, and then the owners say oh come here ddog he loves kids you know! Not sorry I can't control my dog and sorry that he's just made your child look like they've just crawled out of a swamp and also knocked them over. Dogs can be allowed anywhere for me, on leads or fully under control!!!

MarieG10 · 08/04/2019 22:40

RSAcre. I'm sorry but the onus is in the dog owner to control the dog. That is what the law says, not just some mouthy mum on Mumsnet. It isn't the responsibility of a parent to ensure that there child isn't scared of dogs. Some are and some are not.....as I know from my kids and their friends.

chemenger · 08/04/2019 22:47

I think we can all agree that life is easier without fear of everyday things. I know I am more at ease now that I'm not scared of spiders to the point that I couldn't breathe when I saw one (no magic solution, one day I just realised I wasn't worried about them any more). So helping children get over fear of dogs is a positive thing. Yes, owners should be in control of their dogs, but that doesn't mean that living with a dog phobia is a good idea. Giving them tools to help them, like RSAcre's routine is a good idea to give them a feeling of control.

RSAcre · 08/04/2019 22:50

All beaches and parks should be dog free

They should also be entitled, unreasonable eejit free, but there's no legislating for that.

1633tonow · 08/04/2019 22:51

😂

cadburyegg · 08/04/2019 22:52

Not all children who are dog phobic are scared because their parents trained them to be that way. After 4 years of off lead dogs jumping up at my DS1, he IS a little dog phobic. Yes it’s my job to try and teach him how to react appropriately but 4 year olds are impulsive and it’s going to take time to reverse some learned behaviours that have developed due to some irresponsible dog owners. Young children are influenced by all kinds of things, not just their parents, especially when they start nursery/school and their experiences aren’t just about what us parents expose them to.

I have taken DS on dog friendly beaches in the past, partly because some dog friendly beaches are also child friendly with rock pools, calm tide etc. but also because I don’t think it helps him to be kept away from dogs entirely. He’s actually got much better with dogs since being exposed to some well behaved ones.

Even on a dog friendly beach I would expect a dog off lead to have good recall and not run up to children. Similarly how I wouldn’t allow my children to run up to or stroke strange dogs.