Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A question about dog friendly beaches

150 replies

SusieOwl4 · 08/04/2019 20:21

If you had a child that was obviously terrified of dogs would you take them to a dog friendly beach ?

Just asking because I had an experience that made me feel embarrassed and stressed . My dog is a lovely dog and having training but does get a bit over excited . We were on a dog friendly beach with him on a lead and lots of other doggy people with all their dogs running about said to let him off . So I did and he was fine coming back every time I called him. He played in the water and with other dogs . Then I saw him running to my right towards a family on the beach . I immediately called him and he came back to me and I put him back on the lead. But in those few seconds the girl was picked up by the father and was literally screaming and the mother was waving and shouting at my dog . Trust me I was mortified and almost in tears even though my dog had probably not got within 40 feet of them . But the child screaming obviously meant she was petrified of dogs and trust me there were a lot of dogs on the beach . And before you say yes I am taking my dog for more refresher training and I do feel bad .

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 09/04/2019 13:44

I think it’a absolutely fine to be frightened of dogs, or not like dogs or not want to go any where near dogs. It’s not compulsory!
It is a bit daft to go on a dog friendly beach though. But even on a dog friendly beach you have the right not to be jumped on or have your picnic invaded or your sandcastle trampled......

OneStepSideways · 09/04/2019 14:12

I think you were unreasonable to let him off when there was a chance he'd run at people, friendly or not. Dog friendly beaches are just beaches where dogs are not banned, it doesn't mean you should let the dogs run wild and frighten people. They are supposed to be under close control! People may be trying to have a picnic, a peaceful stroll or jogging. Tourists may not realise the beach allows dogs especially if it's a seasonal rule.

A well trained dog that ignores people and has excellent recall, fair enough let him off the lead. A dog that might bound up to strangers, jump up, snatch food or generally be a nuisance should be on a lead.

Is your dog a large or powerful breed? If so do be aware of how intimidating he can be to others, particularly a child.

Chloemol · 09/04/2019 15:22

If you know you and or your child is afraid of dogs you defo do not go to a dog friendly beach which will be packed with dogs as there are so few of them.

@wearywithteens on the few dog friendly beaches I have been able to find I have never seen the issues you mention, sniffing, wet paws etc. And yes they have all picked up after their dogs as well. Let’s be honest if we have to put up with screaming crying children, half naked rude teenagers and sunburnt grumpy adults on beaches I don’t have a problem with a few dogs

Lifeover · 09/04/2019 16:27

It’s fine to have a phobia or dislike of things. Things I would like to see banned from public spaces include

Smoking, my lungs go into spasm if I get a mouthful of smoke

Loud music - annoying

Sirens/alarms triggers my ptsd

Pregnant women - painful due to secondary infertility

Kids playing with siblings - reminds me of the pain of not having that for my child.

People arguing - again triggers ptsd.

But you know what these are my problems, I can’t control the world to fit in with my idiosyncrasies.

If you don’t like dogs fine. Recognise that dogs bring unbridled joy to millions, the term mans best friend didn’t appear out of no where, people are fully entitled to exercise their dogs in the few places they have left. Obviously the dogs need to be under control and should not be jumping up strangers. But being frightened of a dog sitting quietly on the floor of a train or running round a dog friendly beach is really the person with the phobias problem and it is their responsibility to either avoid such places where adog might be or invest time and effort dealing with their phobia

Thatsashame · 09/04/2019 21:41

One of my kids are so scared of dogs. No idea why as i like them and we stroke them when we see them. All our neighbours have them but he is petrified. So we wouldnt go to a dog friendly beach for that reason. But i would be a bit Hmm if you as the owner were crying because my child was scared. I would deal with my child and you dealt with your dog so no need for the tears. Many people are scared of spiders and they are tiny in comparison and dont jump at you yet no one is called a snow flake for that....

cremeegg · 09/04/2019 21:51

Ds is petrified of dogs, animals in general really. He has severe autism and gets very distressed if a dog runs up to him off the lead.

We have a beach locally. Part of the beach does not allow dogs. Almost everytime we have gone there are dogs on this part of the beach. We have a park locally which bans dogs off the lead unless they are in a specially fenced off area. Dogs are always running freely outside this area. It should work both ways. Not everyone likes dogs.

SusieOwl4 · 09/04/2019 21:51

OneStepSideways

Yes you are right I was unreasonable. Unfortunately there has to be a fist time for everything and he had not been off lead on a beach before . But his recall training did not fail . He came back to me , just not as quickly as he should of .

I have taken note of the comments and already said he is going for refresher training . And no he is not large or scary . He is a spaniel cross .

But if you are scared of dogs it is best not to scream or wave manically either .

As I said lesson learnt and I am moving forward . Further training on a one to one basis already booked .

OP posts:
SusieOwl4 · 09/04/2019 21:56

Cremegg

Totally appreciate that which is why we were very careful about what beach we chose .And there are very few places these days where you can let your dog off a lead . Which is why there is a rise in popularity of paddocks to hire by the hour so they can get the excercise they need.

Personally I think they are a good idea. Also I advocate dog licences as well.

OP posts:
BlueSlipperSocks · 09/04/2019 21:56

@SusieOwl4

So did your dog recall before being a nuisance to other beach walkers or not? Your OP states it did. If so why are you being unnecessarily apologetic?

givemesteel · 09/04/2019 22:22

I'm obviously in a minority here, but YABU, I'm afraid, OP.

To me dog friendly beaches (or parks or woods or whatever) are where dogs can go, on a lead or at most walking without a lead to heel with their owner.

Your dog was bounding around, you obviously weren't in control and couldn't immediately recall. Therefore your dog shouldn't be off a lead.

I am so sick of owners who's dog just goes wherever and then are just 'oh he's just being friendly'. I have a 4 year old who is not scared of dogs when they're calm but does get upset when they bound towards her. Fair enough, their head is the same height as her head if it's a labrador.

You seem conscious of upsetting a family and are acknowledging your dog needs better training, so I'm glad you are not oblivious to the fact that not everyone wants your dog 'playing' with them like many owners.

For the record I actually really like dogs but know not everyone does.

Weepingwillows12 · 09/04/2019 22:32

Was it really 40ft before you recalled your dog? Just thats quite far and so someone getting hysterical seems an odd reaction. You said your dog ran towards someone, then from quite a distance responded to your call to come back which seems fine and no issue at all. I don't know why you would cry about that.

Buddytheelf85 · 09/04/2019 22:59

I probably would take my child to a dog friendly beach if they were afraid of dogs. Like it or not, dogs exist, and the worst thing you can do with phobias as a parent is indulge/validate them.

lozster · 09/04/2019 23:28

I’ve never heard of a dog friendly beach just beaches that ban dogs (either fully or partially) or beaches that don’t. Is it actually an official classification or just a turn of phrase? Would you expect to see a sign up saying ‘dog friendly’?

lozster · 09/04/2019 23:30

My point is that if you are not a dog owner then checking the status of a beach wouldn’t be on your radar.

BlueSlipperSocks · 10/04/2019 00:12

lozster

I’ve never heard of a dog friendly beach just beaches that ban dogs (either fully or partially) or beaches that don’t. Is it actually an official classification or just a turn of phrase? Would you expect to see a sign up saying ‘dog friendly’

You can Google to see which beaches, local to you, are dog friendly all year and which don't allow dogs from May to Sept.

Failing that all beaches have a sign letting dog owners know what months dogs are not allowed on the beach. It isn't rocket science..... 🙄

Lifeover · 10/04/2019 06:15

Dogs need to run to stay fit and healthy! Where is this supposed to take place if not in areas which have been designated dog friendly? Do people really think every dog owner should hire a paddock for a couple of hours every day? Wtf are all these paddocks for hire?

Fwiw I really hate joggers runnning up behind me when I’m out walking especially on dark evenings. I wish they would all stick to treadmills or designated running tracks. But as we live in a society I have to accept them

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 10/04/2019 06:22

We live near a lot of beaches. Some allow dogs, some don't. I have 2 children who were, until recently, scared of dogs. At the point at which they were as scared as the family you describe I would not have taken my kids onto the dog friendly beach, why would I! I can't see that you did anything wrong and your dog recalled anyway.

As it happens I've worked hard at the dog fear with my two and they now have a sensible respect for others dogs but no fear. To the point we're considering getting a puppy. I still wouldn't take them to a dog beach at high walkies time.

Flobochin · 10/04/2019 06:26

Keep your dog on a lead, yes, even on a beach! The law states dogs should be on a lead in public spaces.

Bloodybridget · 10/04/2019 06:26

YANBU OP. The whole point of taking a dog to a beach that allows them is so that they can have a good run and enjoy the space! Our DGD is terrified of dogs - not because she has learnt to be from parents as a pp assumes, she developed the fear all by herself for no apparent reason - the poor child has to be bribed to go into a park, there's no way she'd be taken to a beach where dogs were running around off the lead.

Flobochin · 10/04/2019 06:28

@Lifeover

Go somewhere where there are no people/kids to let your dog off the lead - it's not that hard.
Bloody dogs running loose out of control are a pain in the arse.
Leads are for using!!!!

Lifeover · 10/04/2019 06:58

@flobochin and where are these magical places with no people? My dog is under control, in a place she is allowed to run free (the law does not state dogs need to be on a lead). She doesn’t approach strangers as doesn’t like them.

Why don’t you stay safely in your house where you can control your universe and everyone can act just as you wish

FenellaMaxwell · 10/04/2019 06:59

@Flobochin the law states no such thing. This is the actual law: www.gov.uk/control-dog-public/public-spaces-protection-orders

There is no law whatsoever that says you have to keep your dog on the lead at the beach. Hmm

Mintychoc1 · 10/04/2019 07:03

I think it’s crazy to go to a dog friendly beach if you’re scared of dogs, so YANBU.

But I take real exception to the snowflake remark. I always taught my kids to be sensible around dogs - not to try and play with them unless the owner was nearby and said it was OK, but equally not to be frightened of them, as most dogs are friendly, and most owners are sensible.

Then when DS was 6, we were playing football in a park, and a husky came bounding over. It immediately ran straight to DS, knocked him over and started biting him. DS tried to get away, but each time he ran a few steps, the dog knocked him over and bit him again. No owner in sight. Eventually I managed to grab DS and hold him high, while the dog jumped up at my feet, still trying to get to DS. We ran into a cafe, with the dog still jumping and barking at me.

DS had literally hundreds of bites, and required multiple stitches.

Of course DS is terrified of dogs now. When he sees a dog running towards him, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what he’s worrying about. Nothing snowflakey about it.

WinterHeatWave · 10/04/2019 07:09

SusieOwl4 as someone who doesn't mind well behaved dogs, but dislikes those that wont leave me alone, or jump up, I dont see what you have done wrong.
Big open space, dog exercising, came back to you as soon as you called. Absolutely no issue.
It's the owners who when asked to recall (and it shouldnt have to go as far as me telling an owner to recall their dog), who tell me he's friendly and not to worry I dispise. I have scars from a "friendly" dog who approached me. I do not give permission to have a dog hassle me. Dogs who return when called (or frankly, just sit on command and let me get past) I have no issue with.

DopeyDazy · 10/04/2019 07:57

very few owners don't pick up after the dogs otherwise we'd be knee high in dog poo. If you don't like dogs go on a dog free beach, you've got lots more to choose from than dog owners have