Cake smash cake

[WishUponAStarBar]

DDs first birthday this month, not spending alot of money on anything because

1. I don't know anyone with babies
2. I'm saving money to get my own place as I'm staying with my mum, im a single mum, her dad pays no money.
3. She won't remember it anyway.

Just going to take her to soft play, have a birthday cake and go out for dinner, I've got her a couple of things too but nothing major as she had alot at Christmas. Anyway, ever since I saw the photo shoots of a cake smash, I've wanted to do it for DD's first birthday. It's not an expensive one, I use a photographer who's just starting out but she's still really good but at a really good price. She told me she could include a cake in the cake smash shoot but it would be an extra £30. My stepdad, after hearing this, insisted that his mum would be able to make one for free. I said I wouldn't expect it for free, I was also looking for something specific and he insisted. He asked for photos of examples and he would ask her. I found a photo, almost exactly what I wanted, the most simple design as it's going to get smashed up anyway, the main colour was right in the picture I sent, which is yellow, but I asked for a couple of red "big swirls" dotted over it to look like roses. (Not a cake maker so don't know the terms lol) I have a specific theme for the shoot, I have made props and banners to tie in and her dress is matching. My stepdad told me that she could do exactly that, no problems. She's made cakes for us before and they've all been lovely. So we all agreed it would be like that and I was planning on buying her a bunch of flowers or something as a thank you. Photoshoot is tomorrow so my mum and stepdad went to collect the cake today while i took DD out, my mum text me at half 4 saying she wasn't sure if she shoukd send me a photo or not... This made me think there was something wrong so I asked her to send it. The cake, it's nice enough but it's not what I asked. She's used pink instead of red, and there's too much pink, she's also stuck these hard icing daisies all over it. And it's too small, although that isn't such a big issue. Now I feel really bad as she's done a lovely thing, but I had an image in my head and the cake doesn't fit in. My stepdad and his mum really wanted to help out, and so I would feel bad to say it wasn't what I expected. I still intend on buying her flowers or something as she went to the effort to make the cake. I was thinking of running to the supermarket to buy a cake and some icing and piping bags etc and trying it myself, I've found a tutorial on YouTube which makes it look easy enough... WIBU to do this? Am I just being stupid? I just really wanted these photos to be good as I wanted one blown up for my wall when I get my own place and I'm worried it's not going to look right, so I thought I would at least attempt to make a cake right? Is it really hard?

Come to think of it, I've seen them in Morrison's too.

If I were you I’d get a single cupcake with a big swirl of yellow icing and plop some red decorations on it. If it’s a chocolate cupcake it maybe looks more like Belle’s colours. It would remind me of the ‘try the grey stuff, it’s delicious’ bit from Be Our Guest. That shouldn’t be too expensive, and she can probably make enough mess with that!

Photo shoots aren’t my thing, but if you love it then crack on! God forbid you spend a quid on soft play!

Well done on your first year as a mother. I hope you both enjoy the celebration.

Sweetheart, it sounds like you’ve had a tough time and not many treats. Certainly, if you want a baby smash cake, you should have it if it makes you happy. Have a picture taken before the cake and after it is smashed. You may want to save the cake for her party and get her a red cupcake to smash. My son is 40 and I still have a picture of his first cake and blue icing all over his face! Enjoy! Sometimes it’s the little things like this that make us the most happy.

Maybe take the daisies off and just take the cake that has been made for you. The best photos will be when it is smashed beyond recognition anyway.
I have never seen a cake smash photo where I've noticed what kind of cake it was! You just notice the cheeky, messy baby.

I did a cake smash shoot for my DTs 1st birthday. Had an image in my head of what the cake would look like, how much fun they’d have etc etc. Bought all the cake making gear, made the cake and it was nothing like the picture in my head!

It didn’t go to plan at all, I wanted it to be my image of perfect and it wasn’t. DS outfit didn’t fit him, DD was more interested in the weapon (wooden spoon!) than the cake, I was stressed as fuck because it turns out decorating a cake is actually really hard and because I’d left in in the fridge overnight (and I’m not actually any good at baking!) it was like a house brick and the kids couldn’t properly hack at it and we ended up having to hack it apart ourselves. It was miles away from my imagined picture.

However, despite the imperfections, my DTs had a brilliant time, got filthy dirty, and I got some absolutely beautiful pictures that I’ll treasure forever. My advice would be to chill out, stop chasing perfection and go with what you have! I’m trying to take my own advice too...

I hope you and your dd have a brilliant day 🎂

For fucks sake, all of this is for you. Which is fine, it is your prerogative.

But don't make a big deal.of what you are doing for her birthday, working more to do it etc. It is ALL for you as the baby will have no idea or memory of her birthday or what she recieved. It is about your pleasure not hers. Which is fine. But the hard work is for you, not her.

Pink will be better than red. From a cake smash photographer, red can end up looking like blood...

Cake smashes are brilliant and you will love the photos. You can go about it one of of two ways... Use the cake which was made and make it work or do the shop bought cake and say to your step Nan that her cake was far too nice to smash up so you are going to take it to the meal and get lots of pictures with it. Take a pic of you and DD with the cake and send it saying how chuffed you are.

Are you for real?

Focus on the more pressing aspects of your life that need sorting, as opposed to this nonsense.

I hope your baby has a lovely first birthday.

Argh I hate cake smashing lol it’s so American and annoying that with gender reveals and babyshowers...

So much hate. OP do whatever you want for your DD's birthday.

Could you pick the flowers off the cake gently? What kind of icing is covering the cake? The photographer should be able to fix any marks in photoshop or Lightroom and once your DD starts playing with the cake your won't notice anyway. To get a deep red icing you have to use a lot of colouring. This could end up looking like blood on your daughter so might be a good thing it's pink instead.

I think people take the name “cake smash” a little too literally. I did one for my baby. I made a plain box cake and covered it in Betty Crocker pre-made icing. We put it on a cake stand. Baby stuck her finger in it and licked her finger basically. It was more or less us photographing her first ever taste of cake. Afterwards we cut the rest of the cake in slices and all us adults had cake so it wasn’t wasted. She only touched a little bit, it’s not like she face-planted it!

Mind you I did my own photos. The whole thing cost me probably £30 including cake, new outfit and props (bought off eBay, I used a white bedsheet as the backdrop!). I think they’re cute but I can’t imagine spending the prices I was quoted (£200ish!)

I am really environmentally conscious etc, but I fail to see the issue with a cake smash as a one-off... Surely any cake given to a baby/toddler will get smashed up, no matter how big or small? Isn't the point that the baby has fun? I'm sure she will! OP, I hope you have a lovely time! Don't feel bad about any of your choices! The cake smash photos aren't my style, but I really don't see the issue if that's what you want.

PP are being extremely disingenuous saying they are not being snobby, with the fake spellings with z instead of s etc. It is blatantly obvious that you look down on such chavvy ideas as cake smashes As if one cake is going to make the difference in solving food poverty! And who knows, OP might be donating to food banks regularly! Do you ever fly? Do BLW? Use disposable nappies? Oh the waste/ pollution! Fuck off!

Is this the next step from pictures of newborns in buckets, with giant flowers strapped to their heads or marked babies in faux fur rugs? I don't see the pointb if any of it, go out to the park or the seaside, or the back garden and take some lovely candid, unposed pictures of your daughter.

Leave the OP alone!! People are so rude, why are people questioning her about going to the soft play and a meal? She asked for opinions on the cake not financial advice about where's she allowed to take her daughter for her birthday.

She may not have specifically asked for financial advice, but you can’t say in one breath that you haven’t got much money and then in the next reject a free cake that’s going to get smashed anyway because it’s ‘the wrong colour’ without expecting comments.

Why is there always at least one hand-wringer on every thread who gets their knickers in a knot because people aren’t rallying around to give the OP a big hug?

Just as an aside , she probably did try to make it red but it’s quite hard to get true red as it dilutes to pink when mixed with icing.
It’s just a cake that’s going to be ruined so use it .
And no not everyone has professional photos of their kids .
They’re not my thing

Priorities!!!!

@StillCoughingandLaughing I never said I haven't got much money, I just said I was saving. I have actually saved more than expected in a short time frame, but still watching my spending with certain things, maybe some people think IWBU for wanting to go and attempt a shop bought cake, I priced everything to do it and it was under £20, that's fine. I've not bought myself anything, treated myself or gone out since god knows when. This photoshoot was a treat for myself.

Please don't justify your choices op. This is Mumsnet, the place where the only acceptable photo is one shot on an iPhone and where weaning should be baby-led, which inevitably means getting very messy but heaven forbid you take a photo of that messy baby.

It's the place where posters wring their hands about climate change and wastefulness yet happily call anyone who doesn't shower 5x daily or boil wash their clothes, towels and sheets as soon as they've been breathed on a massive slob.

The place where cake solves everything but how dare you buy your child one?! OMG the sugar!! The waste!!

Fwiw I think you should use the cake that you've been given. If it's too red, the icing can look like blood so pink is probably a better choice. I think the photographer can take a shot with the whole cake and then slice a bit off for the "smash" part so the rest is saved for you to eat later on.

If you want to do it, and it sounds like you have planned it carefully and can afford it, then do it. You are allowed to treat yourself too. I hope you and your dd have a lovely time.

@KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree I agree with you, thank you!

Thanks to everyone who replied, even the negative ones, ever opinion helps I guess.

I ended up sticking with the homemade cake for the smash but I made a cake topper out of card I had left over from making the banners and props so it helped it to tie in with the whole theme.
DD had fun, she was laughing and smiling and as soon as the cake was put on front of her she was straight in with a big grin.
Got some lovely photos from what I could see, also got a few photos of her in one of her fancy dresses.

Like or love the idea... we had fun and that's all that matters, she won't remember it but I will, and i can show her the photos when she's older. Maybe I'll cringe like a PP said, but I can laugh at the same time.

Have a nice day.

The whole idea is quite ridiculous. What a waste of money and energy and cake. You risk offending your MIL while you are at it. What will people come up with next? Life is just a photo shoot. Soft play is ok is age appropriate but at one?

How will you teach her not to mash cake now?

@Confusedbeetle this was a one off, and as people have previously said, BLW is encouraged nowadays and I actually had a conversation with my HV not long ago because my DD was playing with food that I have her more than eating it. My HV said that this is how they explore, from starting to wean until 1 year old, food is just for fun, let her squish it in her hands, feel the texture and she'll soon get used to it and will start to eat properly. So how it giving her a cake any different to BLW? I'm sure my DD will grow up soon enough and will understand food is for eating not playing. But for now, like the HV said to do, I'll let her have fun

*Confusedbeetle

How will you teach her not to mash cake now?*

Oh give over.

Glad you had fun OP.

I have to say even though I was really critical of the whole concept from the start of the thread OP, you've been lovely and dignified the whole way through the thread and I'm really glad you had a great day xx