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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cake smash cake

167 replies

WishUponAStarBar · 08/04/2019 17:59

DDs first birthday this month, not spending alot of money on anything because

  1. I don't know anyone with babies
  2. I'm saving money to get my own place as I'm staying with my mum, im a single mum, her dad pays no money.
  3. She won't remember it anyway.
Just going to take her to soft play, have a birthday cake and go out for dinner, I've got her a couple of things too but nothing major as she had alot at Christmas. Anyway, ever since I saw the photo shoots of a cake smash, I've wanted to do it for DD's first birthday. It's not an expensive one, I use a photographer who's just starting out but she's still really good but at a really good price. She told me she could include a cake in the cake smash shoot but it would be an extra £30. My stepdad, after hearing this, insisted that his mum would be able to make one for free. I said I wouldn't expect it for free, I was also looking for something specific and he insisted. He asked for photos of examples and he would ask her. I found a photo, almost exactly what I wanted, the most simple design as it's going to get smashed up anyway, the main colour was right in the picture I sent, which is yellow, but I asked for a couple of red "big swirls" dotted over it to look like roses. (Not a cake maker so don't know the terms lol) I have a specific theme for the shoot, I have made props and banners to tie in and her dress is matching. My stepdad told me that she could do exactly that, no problems. She's made cakes for us before and they've all been lovely. So we all agreed it would be like that and I was planning on buying her a bunch of flowers or something as a thank you. Photoshoot is tomorrow so my mum and stepdad went to collect the cake today while i took DD out, my mum text me at half 4 saying she wasn't sure if she shoukd send me a photo or not... This made me think there was something wrong so I asked her to send it. The cake, it's nice enough but it's not what I asked. She's used pink instead of red, and there's too much pink, she's also stuck these hard icing daisies all over it. And it's too small, although that isn't such a big issue. Now I feel really bad as she's done a lovely thing, but I had an image in my head and the cake doesn't fit in. My stepdad and his mum really wanted to help out, and so I would feel bad to say it wasn't what I expected. I still intend on buying her flowers or something as she went to the effort to make the cake. I was thinking of running to the supermarket to buy a cake and some icing and piping bags etc and trying it myself, I've found a tutorial on YouTube which makes it look easy enough... WIBU to do this? Am I just being stupid? I just really wanted these photos to be good as I wanted one blown up for my wall when I get my own place and I'm worried it's not going to look right, so I thought I would at least attempt to make a cake right? Is it really hard?
OP posts:
Thegreymethod · 08/04/2019 19:21

Leave the OP alone!! People are so rude, why are people questioning her about going to the soft play and a meal? She asked for opinions on the cake not financial advice about where's she allowed to take her daughter for her birthday.

OP if it was me I'd use the cake I'd had made but if it really doesn't fit the theme and it's going to spoil it for you then use another. Enjoy her birthday I hope it's as lovely as you're hoping it will be.

ShitAtScarbble · 08/04/2019 19:25

Nope - I don't see it as 'chavvy' or in fact in terms of any other class-based insult.
What I do see it as is an obscene and inexcusable waste of food at a time of global need and where the use of food banks here is off the scale.
Does that make me sound like some po-faced party pooper? I don't care.
Just get some damned awareness ffs - that's to anyone who thinks this kind of brainless food wastage is ok. It is not. Not on any planet. Not even on ur bubs ur rulez planet. It is not ok.

LotsToThinkOf · 08/04/2019 19:29

I like the soft play and a meal idea, I did something similar for my children's 1st birthdays. The first birthday is for the parents! Have a lovely day OP, you deserve it!

Now the cake issue is a bit of a problem, if you say anything you'll look really ungrateful but actually the cake was supposed to be a prop, rather than a 'cake' so I can understand it needs to be a certain way. I've adapted shop bought cakes for all of our birthdays at some point and it's always worked out quite well. I'd get a shop cake and some accessories and just have a go.

I'm sure the photographer can edit the colours of the cake on the photos so I'd definitely look at doing that before going to any further expense. I'd keep the cake as her actual cake, it does seem a shame to waste a cake which someone has gone to the trouble of making.

tinierclanger · 08/04/2019 19:33

What a mean pile-on to the OP.

OP, if you have been dreaming about the cake smash all this time absolutely go for it. I think you're right and swirling something simple up yourself in the right colours to fit your theme will work best, on a plain basic cake.

Then say Granny's cake was too lovely to waste on the smash and have it as a proper cake for a little tea party as an add-on, or arrange to bring it out after tea as you're planning to go for dinner.

Honestly, you'd think nobody on here had even thrown away a crust of bread. As a ONE OFF it is not "obscene". It is a single event.

Mummaaon · 08/04/2019 19:33

I say good for you!!! She will
Love seeing these fun pics when she's older! One life - enjoy it!! ❣️

flowerstar19 · 08/04/2019 19:34

OP, a clever photographer could easily photoshop the cake a bit - maybe make the pink red, if that would help?

tinierclanger · 08/04/2019 19:34

And when it is your baby's FIRST birthday and you are doing it on your own, you are absolutely entitled to have it how you want as your celebration.

Wallsbangers · 08/04/2019 19:34

Cake smashes are bloody awful. And so wasteful. That said you've already spent the money on it so you might as well get a cake that fits your theme if it's going to upset you.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 08/04/2019 19:37

To answer your actual question, I would tell granny the cake is amazing and too good to smash so having that as proper bday cake. I’d then pop to Tesco and get a £10 cake for photo shoot. They do a rose bouquet one and a cream coloured red velvet which would probably be closer to your theme.

KooMoo · 08/04/2019 19:38

Clearly Cake Smashing is about what you want and not something your 1 year old daughter would even remember. I just don’t get it.

Wasteful competitiveness at its worst.

borntobequiet · 08/04/2019 19:38

I’m sure your baby is really cute as she is. No need to cover her with cake.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 08/04/2019 19:40

Or do something like this which I think is cute

Cake smash cake
Stinkycatbreath · 08/04/2019 19:45

Haye pointless waste people are starving all over the world and you are smashing up a cake. It makes me sooo angry.

GunpowderGelatine · 08/04/2019 19:48

Have to say I die a little inside when I hear of people having cake smashes. Is there anything more crass than food waste?

Stinkycatbreath · 08/04/2019 19:48

Little people are lovely as they are I'm sure your baby would look better dressed for their birthday with the cake
The pictures from the above poster are so lovely.....dont do it OP.

Cherrysherbet · 08/04/2019 19:58

Some really horrible responses on here.

Op, this is your baby girls 1st Birthday and you should celebrate how you want to. I think soft play, a meal and a cake smash photo shoot all sounds lovely. I’m sure you’ll both have a great time.

As for the cake, if it isn’t what you’d imagined, just get another from the shop like you want to, and decorate it as you wish. There are lots of decs and icing tubes etc.. that you can buy. Then just take a pic of your little one all dressed up with the original cake on your phone to show your stepdad and his mum. Tell, her it was far too nice to smash up, and you wanted to keep it special for her birthday.

Whatever you decide, I hope you have an amazing day, and enjoy your well deserved meal out too.

Ignore the haters 💐

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 08/04/2019 20:01

Oh, stop with the haters rubbish, ffs Hmm

MummyMummy01 · 08/04/2019 20:15

What a fab idea. Those photos will be beautiful and something to laugh about as she gets older. One year olds don’t need pressies they want love which sounds like your little girl gets. Enjoy

Cheeserton · 08/04/2019 20:19

I agree that cake smashes suck. Gimmicky, wasteful nonsense.

lazyspoon · 08/04/2019 20:32

My daughter had a £2 chocolate co-op cake her for cake smash and the photos turned out great and she had such a fun time! I think the idea of soft play is great, we went an aquarium and then out for dinner.

I wouldn't worry too much about the cake, I'd take it with you to be honest or else it's just a bit of a waste and they do really enjoy smashing the cake up etc. Just take it and if the photographer thinks it won't match then that's that

FiveLittlePigs · 08/04/2019 20:33

Cake smash? Good lord, WHY? Shock

ShitAtScarbble · 08/04/2019 21:05

Oh, stop with the haters rubbish, ffs

Exactly.

What is this nonsense that any rational examination of a ridiculous practice attracts some rubbish about 'haterz'. Every time.

BaronessBomburst · 08/04/2019 21:30

We went to an aquarium and then out for dinner too lazyspoon. DS fell asleep in the restaurant. It was fab. I actually got to enjoy my meal in peace. Grin

stucknoue · 08/04/2019 21:35

Asda sell them ready made. Eat your mums lovely cake!

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 08/04/2019 21:35

Babies covered in food make me heave.

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