Help

7 replies

Whattodonow126 · 08/04/2019 17:26

My PILs nearly split DH and I up. We’re in our 40s and have been together 20 years! I always put up with them even though I didn’t like them but when we had our child something snapped. They were bullying, rude and told me that my baby would be brought up like them, not “posh” like me.

Long story short, DH cut them off after I did.

Now he’s depressed. When he gets angry he says he’s going to take our son, now at school, to them. Send them pictures, leave me.

They threatened me, I will call the police if he takes him to them. I can’t wait for them to die to be safe. What do I do?

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Mumminmum · 08/04/2019 17:28

You really, really need couples councelling.

Original poster

Whattodonow126 · 08/04/2019 17:41

He won’t go to counselling, he’s from a rough family, says it’s for losers. I’ve had counselling but I’m still scared when he says he’ll do it.

Am I best to leave and get a court order? I don’t want them near my child.

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Original poster

Whattodonow126 · 09/04/2019 01:55

Anyone?

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Someoneonlyyouknow · 09/04/2019 02:12

Is your DH getting treatment for his depression (assuming he has a diagnosis of depression and not that he is just feeling low)? Was he frequently angry before depression set in and how long have you both been estranged from his DPs? I am trying to work out if his current behaviour is a result of depression or if he has always been like his DPs - bullying, threatening and scaring you. If this is unusual for him he needs help. If it is usual you need help. Probably you need help anyway. Most solicitors will give a half hour free first consultation and you should contact Women's Aid if you are frightened for your or DS safety. Good luck

Original poster

Whattodonow126 · 09/04/2019 02:27

Been cut off for over three years. No diagnosis of depression, I just think he is depressed. He started being like this after I cut his parents off. Well, at first he apologised for them but then started threatening to contact them if I annoy him.

Things that annoy him are asking him if he did something he said he was going to do, if he forgot he gets angry. Or if he does something wrong. Like the school contacted me to say he hadn’t signed a form he took in. Such a stupid little thing (he basically delivered an empty form) but he shouted to never ask him to ever take in anything to the school again. He gets embarrassed I think. He’s scared of criticism but I can’t go through like never asking him if he remembered to do the stuff he needs to do for our son and he forgets to do a lot.

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cloudymelonade · 09/04/2019 02:30

Your DH is the problem, not his parents. He sounds bloody awful.

Get legal advice, soon. Then leave him.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 02:31

Bollocks, this isnt depression, this is blackmail.

Ok so he might also be depressed as cutting off his family is a big thing to do, but his behaviour isnt connected.

You do something he doesnt like, he uses the one thing he knows will frighten you into submission.....having your son in contact with the outlaws. If you got on with them then it would be something else, probably that he will take your son and never let you see him or some such.

Counselling and GP or you are done would be my ultimatum.

Flip