To ask what you would like May to say to Merkel and Macron

[RemoaningMyrtle]

And what you'd like them to say to her.

Mrs May is meeting the two leaders today (I think!) - I'd love to be a fly on the wall.

'I'm so terribly sorry, it's all been a big mistake. Can we go back to normal and pretend the last 3 years didn't happen?'

'Of course we can Theresa. Here, have a biscuit.'

We are leaving on Friday so you had better get used to it. And you can whistle for the £39bn - it is ours to keep

'Please turn down my request for an extension, I secretly want us to leave on Friday'

We are leaving on Friday so you had better get used to it. And you can whistle for the £39bn - it is ours to keep

If I were a fly on the wall, I'd quite like May to say that to Macron just to watch his face turn red, his chest puff out and him rant and rave in delicious French!

What I really want her to say is "I'm revoking on Thursday so let's come up with some major concessions for the UK or you'll have PM Boris and the ERG to negotiate with next time and you know what a bunch of psychos they are"

I think she's probably saying "I can't believe how many air miles I will have with all these trips by the time my party boot me out"

And I think they will say "well stop coming back begging, we aren't going to change our minds"

To be honest this whole fiasco has turned millions of people off politics. Local elections in some areas are soon and I think turn out will be historically low in our area. I just want us to leave now. No more dragging it our for poor deals. She will never do a 2nd referendum. Its false hope that one. So let's just so fuck it and get on with it.

‘This was all a huge mistake’

'That mumsnet has this place called the Brexit board to talk all things Brexit, anyone can use it'

A pipe dream of course probably

“Au secours! Hilfe! Please help me solve this bloody mess we have created, nobody in the UK seems to have a fucking clue how to move forward.”

"I am sorry that the UK as a nation has totally lost the plot and created a massive headache for everyone else, and are not competent to resolve the situation, and still delusionally believe others should do anything other than watch in disbelief as we shit in our hands and clap."

With apologies to the band Busted, a version of 'What I go to School for' sung to Mr Macron:

Je m'appelle Emmanuel
Ma vie est très tres belle
Quand je va a l'école
Mon lecons de theatre ne sont pas drôle
Mes amis dit je suis malade
La professeur n'est pas 'bad'
Elle est vingt-quatre ans de plus
Je chante quand dans le bus

Ce que je vais à l’école pour.

Auf wiedersehen (pet) and Au revoir 😁

TMay: this nice chap called Keir Starmer and this smart woman called Anna Soubry will be negotiating on behalf of the UK from now on.

Merkel & Macron: wonderful! Lovely Donald Tusk will negotiate on behalf of the EU.

They are actually meeting tomorrow, the day before the EU meeting 😬