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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To stay at my dm house to try and hear this

63 replies

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:05

My elderly dm lives on her own and sleeps downstairs on the sofa.
She says it doesn't happen every night but she has been experiencing a sound of 3 knocks like somebody is at the door it's at random times but always during the night.
It's always 3 knocks as well and she is too scared to actually get up and look out of the window.
What could this be I am so tempted to stay there on the odd night to see if I hear anything.

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 07/04/2019 22:06

Is it the wind rattling the door? It's been quite windy recently.

CastleCrasher · 07/04/2019 22:08

If it's bothering her and you can easily stay for a night or two to ease her mind, I would. Could it be her heating system? In my last house the pipes sounded exactly like a door knocking!

toomuchtooold · 07/04/2019 22:08

I know everyone on here says "might it be dementia" about everything but one of the first symptoms my gran had of vascular dementia was thinking there were people coming up to her window at night. By all means stay and try to listen out for it but say to your mum to go to the GP's for a checkup as well.

S1naidSucks · 07/04/2019 22:08

Sounds like some fucker is getting a kick out of upsetting the poor soul. Is there a back food that you can enter so no one knows you’re staying? Can you buy a cheap security camera and hide it in a plat or something? Hopefully catch the fucker at it.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/04/2019 22:10

Possibly the knocker, she is probably on full alert.
Is she frightened alone, Is it why she sleeps downstairs.
When DP is away I hear every creek I wouldn't normal hear, my senses are peaked.

Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:10

My ds was on about installing a camera in case it's somebody playing abt

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Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:12

She said she doesn't like sleeping upstairs because you can't see what's happening downstairs.

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Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:13

My cousin has been staying with her for a few nights but slept upstairs my dm said she heard it again last night but my cousin didn't

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Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:15

Her stress levels are bad at the moment

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BlueMerchant · 07/04/2019 22:18

My dear Grandfather complained that he had people knocking on his door through the night. Next door neighbors had CCTV and kindly checked it. There was never anyone around through the night.
I sometimes wonder if it was down to my Grandfather feeling vulnerable as he hated being alone at night.
I would maybe stay over a couple of nights and see if he complains of these knocks with you there or indeed see if you hear it.
Either way, I'd make a G.P app for a check up.

BlueMerchant · 07/04/2019 22:19

she. Sorry.

Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:21

I think she has been thinking about her own mortality for a while my df died 18 months ago then her ds died.

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Butterymuffin · 07/04/2019 22:21

It'll be something else creaking or rattling but that doesn't stop her being genuinely frightened. I would deal with it on a number of fronts - I would stay over yourself to find out what you hear, I'd also look at getting a camera installed, and I would get her to have a check up at the doctors for stress and anything else.

azulmariposa · 07/04/2019 22:22

There's something called exploding head syndrome (not as bad as it sounds!!!) where you hear noises or see flashes as you are dropping off to sleep or waking up.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding headd_syndrome

It can happen in times of stress, so might be that?
I get it quite often, never know if I've actually heard anything and then it takes ages to get back to sleep.

danadas · 07/04/2019 22:26

I get this and it is always three knocks - apparently it is a 'thing'. There are some differing views depending on what you believe in - personally I don't believe in any of that and think that it is something to do with being between sleep states or something. It is so realistic though that I have gone to answer the door before now. www.nosleeplessnights.com/exploding-head-syndrome-harmless-but-disturbing/

LL83 · 07/04/2019 22:27

Your poor mum. I would stay to rule out possibility someone is knocking.

After that I would try to help her feel secure and calm at home again. Panic alarm? Additional locks? Meditating? A dog or even cat? (When I had a cat I always assumed any noise was the cat) Sheltered accommodation? Or move in with someone if practical.

Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:27

That's interesting azul

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danadas · 07/04/2019 22:27

Sorry cross posted with azul

Notcontent · 07/04/2019 22:27

Your poor mum. Do you think she would feel safer if she moved to a small flat? Or some supported living setup?

Lordamighty · 07/04/2019 22:28

My DM said exactly the same thing after my DF died. She was so convinced someone was trying to get in that DH stayed there for a few nights to reassure her. It was the central heating firing up but it was also the start of her dementia.

Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:29

I don't want to turn it into a paranormal thread but she has also mentioned somebody held her hand whilst she was sleeping

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Original poster

Worzilgummidge · 07/04/2019 22:30

She seems okay otherwise with no sign of dementia and still very sharp minded etc

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LarryGreysonsDoor · 07/04/2019 22:33

I get oral hallucinations when I am half asleep. I can be convinced that someone is knocking at the door.

Would it be a pain to stay over a couple of nights just to put her mind at rest?

Cherrysoup · 07/04/2019 22:35

Something in the water tank did this a while back. The plumber replaced the ballcock, I think. If I ran the water afterwards, it stopped it. Pretty echoey and freaky the first few times til we spoke to the plumber and asked him what he thought.

Springisallaround · 07/04/2019 22:35

I think this might be a parasomnia, or disturbed sleep, hypnogogic or hypnopompic hallucinations occur as we go off to sleep or wake up, so they feel completely real but are not. Auditory ones, especially the three knocks are really common, I've had it myself and gone to answer the door and there's no-one there. So annoying as I order a lot on Amazon so it's quite plausible there will be knocking if I have a nap in the day.

Perhaps try to reassure her by reading about this on the internet, the sensation of holding hand sounds similar. I think they are worse when you are tired, in the first 90 minutes of the night and when you are stressed.

Hope you manage to calm her about this, I don't think staying over will make you hear the knocking but it might reassure her psychologically.

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