All natural birth?

[TerribleTwosPhase]

Ok first time posting on AIBU so putting my hard hat on for this one...
Do you genuinely believe that having a baby with no pain relief/intervention or anything makes it a superior birth to someone who hasn't?
Before I had DD I was quite relaxed about my birth plan, didn't want any pain relief or anything if I could manage it, but wasn't against it. In the end after 3 days of labour with a back to back baby and not progressing I had to have an epidural. Fine that's what needed to happen to safely deliver my baby, and as my body was starting to have issues it was the safest way of processing for us both if I needed an emergency c section. I have no issues with this and understand it's just what had to happen, not my ideal birth but we are both happy and healthy so that's all that matters.
Woman on my Facebook has just announced her babies birth with the line " total natural birth, I am a lioness!"
AIBU to think that this is a bit ridiculous, be proud of yourself fair enough, but do we really need to make people feel bad about how they gave birth? Do you secretly feel better about yourself knowing you done it with no pain relief?
I'm really not trying to be goady here please don't take it like that, but does the fact that everything went textbook for someone mean it's more noteworthy than for someone who didn't? I see so many women on here who are disappointed with their birth experiences and I think things like this surely can't help?

[Bankofenglandfiver]

Motherofdinosaurs that’s a horrible thing to say.

I’ve had vaginal deliveries for my kids. And I’d never say anyone has or has not a baggier fanny. Horrible. Just so misogynistic.

[Florescentadolescent]

First was epidural. I really wanted to manage without for second because it takes so long for it to wear off and you feel really useless the next day not being able to move.

I did manage on just gas and air for second. (I did ask for epidural but was too far gone by that point). I was proud of myself that I did it without and I'm glad I got to experience the feeling of pushing her out. But that doesn't make me or my birth better, every birth is different and we do what we need to get through it.

[BarrenFieldofFucks]

It's not a comparison thing. In proud of myself for all of my births...from neck down epidural to no pain relief eruption. I'm also proud of breastfeeding (lobs grenade), but that has no bearing on anyone else.

[TeddyIsaHe]

I’m in awe of women who have c sections and manage with a newborn after major surgery! (Although not @MotherofDinasours as she is obviously a very nasty person.)

I struggled with a vaginal birth and a few stitches, can’t imagine how sore the recovery is after a section.

[finallyfound]

I feel inwardly proud of myself for giving birth with no pain relief. But it was my 2nd baby. First time I had pethidine, epidural, etc etc. Quite proud I got through that too but really pleased I got to experience it without all that because I was curious. Wouldn't shout about it on Facebook or compare myself to another species. Couldn't care less how anyone else gives birth. It's not a competition, it's bodies doing what bodies do, with or without intervention.

[BarrenFieldofFucks]

She might consider herself a lioness but I bet she has a considerably baggier fanny than me with my C section birth

Well, we agree in something MotherofDinosaurs, the cunt is strong with you.

[smurfy19]

First labour 50 mins long, terrified to have pain relief other than gas and air but had on my birth plan that if I needed anything more I would have it (after all you can’t possibly know until you’re going through it) when I got to hospital his head could be seen gave me gas and air to exam me, 2 puffs and they took it off me as DS was distressed as he was coming so fast and I had to get him out ASAP! Ended up ventouse delivery! Second gas and air for 4 mins, distressed and they started sorting forceps but I pushed her out before they got them! Third gas and air for half hour. Tbh I couldn’t care less how a baby is brought into the world. I think the bravest thing a parent can do is accept any intervention that is needed in order to ensure the safe delivery of their child. For me personally I was so worried I would need a c-section and I still take my hat off to woman who have one and have no choice but to look after their baby straight after major surgery

[NicksWife08]

2 emcs under general anaesthetic for both. I'm proud me and my babies survived, none of us would be here without the amazing doctors and nurses that looked after us.

[finallyfound]

Motherofdinosaurs, YOU are the perpetuation of women comparing themselves to other women in birth. Your attitude is disgusting, whatever your fanny is or isn't like you're a massive cunt all round

[IntoValhalla]

I don’t think it makes me superior to those who choose/need the medicalised route.
But having had one hospital induction (no pain relief, but had all the induction drugs and it all felt very medicalised), and one completely natural birth at home, I do feel like my second birth was a better experience and made me feel way more proud of myself if that makes sense? It had gone exactly the way I always thought childbirth should go, whereas the first time I felt like birth was “done to me”, rather than an event I actively participated in.
I couldn’t give a shiny shit how other women choose to birth their babies - it’s a very personal choice. Whatever makes the birthing woman feel the most comfortable, safe and empowered to bring her baby into the world is fine by me!
Personally, I’d have to be in serious medical trouble to willingly give birth in a hospital again, but that’s my choice, and while that choice feels very right for me, it definitely wouldn’t be right for the lady down the road.

[Confusedbeetle]

There is no way a back to back presentation is going to be an easy ride. There are people who are lucky and have an easy birth. It never fails to amaze me how many women are the worst enemy of other women at times. One of the reasons an uncomplicated birth can be over painful is fear. Other women seem to revel in frightening other women with their horror stories, not to mention film makers who only do birth with a no pushing, open mouth screaming arms clasping at the headboard in a position not conducive to good constructive pushing. Turns women into victims instead of active participants

[PasDevantLesElephants]

First birth, induced over three days with an epidural and every other drug, avoiding C section with wrapped cord and back to back baby by about 5 minutes.

Second birth, 2 1/2 hours, nothing but gas and air.

It was a completed different experience so needed different levels of intervention. If the second had been a repeat of the first, I'd've had it all again.

No one gets a prize for doing it 'naturally' and one can reasonably compare what happened to them to anyone else and what interventions/pain relief they had as all births are different and no one really gets to choose!

[Milkmachine15]

Birth is birth doesn’t really matter how they come out just as long as you do your best for them once they’re here!! I also don’t really think there was anything wrong with her post either though, why can’t we be proud of doing something without everyone else taking offence?! It’s not like she said natural births rock and if you don’t have one you’re shit!!

[NewAccount270219]

I did feel like a goddess who could do anything for the first 24 hours ish after DS was born. It was a vaginal birth with just gas and air and no pain relief at all until pushing. I'm not sure how connected those facts are. I certainly didn't feel like a superior person - just lucky that all had been relatively straightforward. I can imagine posting something like that in that immediate postbirth huge rush I had (I didn't, but I can imagine it) and I wouldn't have meant it to be about anyone else but me, but I can see why other people would find it upsetting. It's a bit like when people go on about how they get pregnant at the drop of a hat - I know it's about them, not me, but it does sting a bit.

Basically I don't think she's wrong to feel like that but I don't think it's wrong of you to find it a bit hurtful.

[StealthPolarBear]

That's it back to back thank you. That's what my friend had with her first birth. Ouch

[SovietKitsch]

Of course I don’t believe it’s superior- it’s not! I’ve had 4 natural births- I wanted it that way, because I wanted to avoid the “cascade of intervention” that can happen once you have an epidural, pethidine etc. But there was no feeling of superiority, just a desire to get them out as quickly and safely as possible. I was lucky, because the positions of my babies, shape of my pelvis etc made that possible. And when I did get a back to back baby, he was no.4 so I already knew I could do it - that confidence allowed me to crack whereas I might have panicked with baby no.1. So much of birth is about how you feel - for me avoiding heavy duty painkillers was how I felt in control. For other women it will be taking every painkillers going!

[Haworthia]

I fell for all that “natural is best, no pain relief is best, it’s SO empowering” bollocks before I had my first baby. Had a water birth with “just” gas and air and it was one of the most physically and mentally traumatising events of my life. I tore badly and needed to go to theatre, and the whole thing left me with something like PTSD.

I felt so stupid for falling for it all. Second baby was a brilliant elective section, and I laughed at my past self who also fell for the “c sections are the worst possible outcome, major abdominal surgery, bad bad bad” rhetoric. It was a piece of cake and I never had to experience a single contraction. Amazing.

So yes, I do think women are sold a lie, and I’ll judge a women who brags about having a drug free birth, because it’s not an achievement and it’s nothing to be proud of. It’s just a physiological process that women have been undergoing since the beginning of time. If you found it easy then you were lucky, that’s all. It’s not because you were strong or a lioness or did visualisations or hypnobirthing. You were lucky, that’s all.

[WYP2018]

When men start posting on Facebook about how proud they are to have had the snip with no pain relief, that’s when I’ll feel proud of having a birth with none.

I feel bloody lucky that I was one of the ones to have quick labours, not proud. I suppose I could be proud I haven’t had appendicitis yet, but it makes about as much sense.

[DrWhy]

My second birth I didn’t have any pain relief because it went a bit quicker than I expected and by the time they got the gas and air to me i could tell I wouldn’t actually need it. Got high as a kite on it for the stitches though!
I was a tiny bit proud of myself but I obviously don’t say that to actual people as it would make me insufferably smug and likely upset people who’s births weren’t as simple as mine.

[1sttimeunicorn]

All I can say is once I'd had pethadine I totally understood how people get addicted to heroin. I think birth is just different for everyone. I don't judge or comment. I had ALL the drugs available and no regrets. I went through enough crap simply trying to stay pregnant to worry about anything else.

[Bearfrills]

I think we all agree you need to be hard as fucking nails to give birth, no matter what type of birth you have.