Tell me about your nearly 3 year olds sleep? Mine never sleeps!

[Happyclappy20]

My nearly 3 dd gave up her nap at 22 months. She goes to bed at 6.30pm (any later and she cries a lot). She's still in a cot and obsessed with drinking milk from a bottle. Last night she woke 3 times and takes ages to get back down. She wakes any time from 5 to 6am. It's like having a new born again. What does yours do and any tips. We try leaving her to cry but she throws our her favourite teddy....

This needs exploring together with you and your health visitor. If she is not skilled in sleep, find one who is. Not a hard job to fix but advise cannot be given in a forum like this

Mines nearly 3 and sometimes wakes but has night terrors so prob not relevant to you. Usually goes to sleep around 6.30 - 7 and wakes around 7 although weve had a few early wake ups recently.

For a start id knock the milk on the head, or at least the bottle. She doesnt need it at 3.

Why is she waking? For milk? Or comfort? Attention?

Ds is still in a cot too.

As for the crying try doing the method where you go in tuck back in say night and leave. Leave it a few mins and repeat. Keep repeating until settled but leave the time a bit longer on each repeat. Cant remember the name but we did that with ds when he kicked off and it worked ok!

My now 4.5 year old was like this, as is my 2.5 year old. Both had sleep apnea and both have had their tonsils and adenoids removed in the past fortnight to see if it helps.

Also gradually cut down the milk, that may help too even if you have to do it 5ml at a time x

I ended up using a sleep consultant when my 4yo lost out with her sleep (anxiety related). Some of the advice I got which may help... Think about how much sleep she's getting in 24hrs. Should be 11-14hrs min I think? If she's not getting enough then don't be afraid to put her to bed earlier. Bedtime can be as early as 5:30 in this house, because Dd always wakes at 6am no matter what we do, and when she was up in the night there was just no way she was getting enough sleep. She wouldn't nap, so instead we had 'quiet time' after lunch on the sofa/in her bed, with the curtains drawn, cuddles and books or an audio book /lullabies, for 30min - 1hr. With night wakings you will need to be super consistent. Options are either go with the flow/whatever suits that you're doing now, or get firm. You could just keep taking her back to bed. Didn't work for us. Or look into bedtime tokens if she's old enough to understand (for in the night too, not just bedtime). This worked for us, took about a month.

The theory that 'sleep begets sleep' is totally true for my 2. The more they sleep, the better they get at sleeping!!

My DC had his adenoids removed at 22 months which massively improved his quality of sleep.

Why is she still in a cot?

Could she maybe have outgrown the cot op? She could perhaps be waking because she's kicking the sides in her sleep. I put mine in beds between around 2 and 3 for that reason. Might be worth seeing how she gets on in a bed.

Still in a cot??
I have a 3.5 year old and she sleeps 6-6 most nights. If she has a daytime nap she’ll tend to go to bed around 7 instead. My DD has always slept in my bed though and now I’m struggling to remove her. If I put her in her own bed she tends to come in to bed with me around midnight.
My eldest is now almost 5 and he has been in a full sized bed since he was about 19 months. He sleeps all night 7:30-6. He slept far better once he was in a proper bed as it gave him more comfort and more room.

If she's still in a cot and drinking milk from a bottle, it sounds like perhaps she is being treated as a much younger baby and waking like one. Is there any underlying reason, such as a development delay, that she is being treated as a much younger child?

If not, I'd say drop the bottle - it's bad for her teeth and also if she's drinking tons of milk she'll be waking more with a wet nappy.
Then also drop the cot. Yes, there can be a bit of a regression in the first week or so when they realise they can escape, but sounds like you're up anyway!
Rapid return, lovingly and calmly but firmly is useful. Or gradual retreat if she isn't used to sleeping without you there.
Or if it works for you, cosleeping has to be better than your current tiredness!

When you say cot do you mean a cot bed as a cot will be far too small for a child of that age?

My DD slept in a cot bed, had bedtime milk (brushed teeth after) and dummies until she turned three. She was an excellent sleeper so we didn’t want to change anything. She was also obsessed with milk and sometimes woke up in the night asking for it but we just said no. She went through the odd phase of waking up in the night crying, we just went in, made sure she didn’t need anything, gave her a cuddle and left her to cry. We went back in at regular intervals to reassure her. Once she realized she wasn’t getting out of bed she soon stopped.

We moved our eldest out of the cot when she was 3. It was a larger cot bed but we didn't take the sides off as she was happy in there and fitted. We bought her a proper single bed. Many of her friends transitioned at a similar time, it's not unusual.

I have a just turned three year old who doesn’t sleep through. He does however tend to trot into our bed, climb in and promptly fall back to sleep. In all, he’s pretty good at falling asleep, it’s staying asleep which is the biggest problem.

My eldest at this age had the reverse problem, he was a terror at waking up in the middle of the night and being awake for quite a long time (2 hours typically). Not hyper, just awake.

And now I have a six month old too.

I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

This sounds like me dy and the problem was he was addicted to his bottle and every time he woke up he wanted to be put back to sleep with it (with me cuddling him feeding him this bottle...of water I might add, not even milk). One night I explained he could have it before bed and in the morning but not in the night. He if course woke up crying for it at 2am so I went in offering a beaker, which he wouldn't take. Tantrum lasted 2 1/2 hours but he never woke up in the night again!

It could be she wants the comfort of her bottle so that could be the issue. Maybe speak to your health visitor? Personally if she is safe I woukd let her have her tantrum and keep popping in intermittently

Could she be waking her self up hitting the sides of the cot?
I would try to get a bed/convert the cot into a bed - she may well be more comfortable then.

Milk before bed is ok but she needs to drink it from a cup and then brush teeth - she doesn't need a bottle at 3.

I would seek some advice from your health visitor and see what they suggest.

She is the same age as my DD who dropped her nap at 26 months.

She normally sleeps 7.15 to 7.15ish. She often sleeps through except for blips. By sleeps through I mean settles herself back down when she wakes up. If she does then one of us hops in with her. Last night she woke up because she wet the bed so I brought her in with me and while DH remade her bed. She feel asleep so DH slept in her bed. If we had waited until the bed was remade and settled her she would have been awake an hour. She took up most of our king size bed and normally stretches out in her small double and I can’t imagine she would get comfy in a cot.

Thank you everyone. I think you're right we need to bite the bullet and stop the bottle and put her in a bed. Her room is only ok for a cot so she needs to go in a room with a large double bed - would this be ok if we can side's?

Our DD is in a double with bed guards and has never fallen out.

My dd age 3 fits in a cot fine, she's little though.. however, I think she feels too young for it after 2.5. I only offer water at night after about 16 months. My dd age 3 still wakes fpr a drink etc about half of nights.

Hi OP, my 2.5yr old is in a single bed (got angry in the cot and was saying wanted bed), one side against a wall, other side has a bed guard, no bedtime milk, she has a bottle of water in bed with her (no leak valved one)
Blackout gro-blind to stop light seepage, gro clock as a nightlight, she knows to be quiet until the sun comes up on her clock. Up to bed at 7, teeth brushed, pj's, story, lights off by 7:15, she drops off almost straight away and sleeps until 7am.
Naps occasionally at nursery but they wake her after 30 mins, most days now she goes without, she has her last snack at 6:30 so is full for bed. Good luck, double bed might be lovely, all that space to wiggle :-)