DP as a guarantor

[JustDrained48]

DP & I are desperate to get a short term loan to cover upcoming bills.
DP has lived off his savings for a couple of years but they have now dried up.
His ExW owes him a considerable amount of money which should have been paid according to their financial settlement. This money has been owed for 2 years but because there are DCs involved he won’t push her for the payment which I completely understand.
I had a conversation about our financial situation about 6 weeks ago stating that we both needed to find paid work - we are/were self employed but my business wasn’t going well & his is sporadic.
I managed to pick up immediate start cleaning work & have worked 7 hours a day since. I would do more but with travelling times it’s not possible.
We need money like now. I’ve suggested applying for a short term loan. My credit history is bad because before I met him I didn’t have credit cards etc. My Ex & I had been mortgage/debt free for years but due to a crap investment we lost everything.
He refuses to apply for a loan saying I should approach my ex for a loan or apply for a guarantor loan & ask my Dad (he’s 78) to be guarantor.
My DP has a impeccable credit rating but won’t entertain it.
I honestly just want to tell him to grow up & do what is needed in these situations & to take my pennies from cleaning & fuck off.
I’ve been sat in front of my computer for 4.5 hours searching for loans & he just messaged me ‘going to be a long night ‘

Honestly? You both sound like financial disasters and I don’t think either of you are in positions to guarantee loans for each other.

Plus, if he has no/low income, will a bank even allow him be a guarantor?

Well if he hasn't got a pot to piss in either , how can he be a guarantor?

I honestly just want to tell him to grow up & do what is needed in these situations & to take my pennies from cleaning & fuck off.

This is what I’d do.

He won’t sort his settlement, won’t get proper work, used savings when he could’ve worked and not won’t assist.

What’s the point? How is this a good relationship?

Is he looking for work?

I’m not a financial disaster. My Ex & I spent 30 years building a successful business- you have no idea how 1 mistake can change things.
He does have very lucrative but very sporadic work so over a year his salary is not bad.

My point exactly- we went to a function recently with lots of his peers & I said ‘ do you not feel like having a slice of that action ?’ ‘ no not really ‘
It’s been a source of discontent because I will do anything to earn money & have over the years but he seems to think he’s above £10 ph.
He has ‘plan’ going forward but it will take at least a year to come to fruition!

So he's not earning money, has no interest in doing so any time soon, and doesn't want to chase his ex-wife for the money he's legally entitled to, but thinks you should ask your ex for a loan?

He sounds like a twat.

Do you have any children of your own (with your ex and/or with "D"P)?

Either way I think you should walk away tbh.

And don't get a loan, check what benefits you are entitled to and get advice from a debt charity. Citizens Advice can help with both.

Oh and you especially shouldn't get a loan in your name to pay for joint bills.

Are you splitting the rent and bills 50/50?

You know I think I'd put the ball in his court. Put the (joint) bills in front of him. Tell him you can't pay them, have tried to come up with solutions and can't so it's his turn to think about it.

I would allow things to go unpaid and to shit. If you keep you both afloat and do th worrying then he has no reason to even think about it does he?

You would be getting a loan so that he doesn't have to ask his ExW to pay her debts. Very noble of you.

If he can't pay his bills he can't afford to dream of future riches. If you need money now, he needs a job. Plans will have to be put on hold. You be mad to borrow money to pay bills with no certainty of being able to repay them.

Run away from him, he needs to find a job, can he not clean? Is it beneath him? But he’s happy to let a 78 year old man be a guarantor.

He is going to lump you and your dad with the debt.

HE had two choices, either get a job or get a loan.

Any reason why he can't do a cleaning job?

Something (or someone) is only worth what people will pay. Right not he's sounds worthless.

• right now

He needs to get a job. If your businesses are failing you need a regular pay check. Who takes a loan before getting both people in work?

How much are you bringing in compared to what needs to go out? I assume your cleaning is through an agency, can he start with them? Would that cover the outgoings? If so, I'd be telling him there are no other options atm and he needs to do it. Or leave and let him go bankrupt.

how does he expect the loan to be repaid if your wages don't cover your outgoings as it is?

Why the hell are you looking for a loan in your name? Stop. Stop now.

He has three options according to your post:

• He can get a loan himself
• He can get a job
• He can get the money owed to him by ex

Why are you taking full responsibility for the bills? Are they all in your name? Cocklodger?

LTB. Sounds like he's using you.

DO NOT get a loan in YOUR name, for JOINT bills. What are these bills? How much is he contributing to joint expenses, and how does he plan on continuing to pay his share of the bills, if his savings have run out and he's not working?

Sounds like you've got a cocklodger, and leaving him is your best option.