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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how you manage to have sex on a family holiday?

279 replies

NorthernGravy · 05/04/2019 16:51

I know this sounds a bit weird, but I am looking at booking a holiday, which will involve 7yo DS sleeping on the sofa bed in our room. When we've gone away previously we've done Eurocamp, so he's been in his own room in a chalet.

I was looking at holidays and suddenly thought "oh crap, where do we have sex?". I couldn't have sex while he was sleeping in the room, doing it in the bathroom while he is asleep sounds uncomfortable.

I looked at apartments and then realised that I would end up doing all the cooking and it wouldn't be a holiday for me. I am done with self catering.

Am I being weird thinking about it?

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 06/04/2019 13:22

The ones on the balcony next to ours weren’t having quiet sex, they might as well have been in our room. I don’t want strangers’ sex lives in my face, thank you.

Furrytoebean · 06/04/2019 14:58

What with me being alive and in love and safe and consenting I think anyone getting their nose out of joint can jog on.

You may be consenting but other people wanting to use their balconies are not.

LittleChristmasMouse · 06/04/2019 15:16

I don't think anyone has got a problem with people having sex on holiday.

It's the problem of all of you being in the same room surely?

Either you book suitable accommodation or you have to wait until you are home? What other alternatives are there?

Itssosunny · 06/04/2019 15:46

People who have sex on the open balconies when others can hear and see them should be arrested. I don't want my children to be exposed to it and neither other children. It's pure selfishness and exhibitionism.

Itssosunny · 06/04/2019 15:51

It's too drafty on the balcony anyway at least in the UK. In warmer counties there are mosquitoes Grin

BlueCornishPixie · 06/04/2019 16:25

I don't think anyone is saying it's ideal to not have sex on holiday, no one is saying "id love a holiday without sex"

But if the OP can't afford an apartment or has already booked then there isn't really an alternative

You can't shag in a room with a 7 yr old that's pretty much abuse, they would know what was going on if they woke up

Shagging on a balcony- there will be plenty of couples without DC who will be on the balcony at 2am who aren't shagging. I like sitting on my balcony on holiday I really don't want to see next door at it. Really. It would ruin my peace. People will see and they will know. Its nasty and embarrassing.

Bathroom- hotel bathrooms are gross, its always a bit uncomfortable never as enjoyable as you expect.

I suppose kids club but that might not be available, and it's all a bit planned.

So what's the option? Ideally separate rooms but if that's not available then it's better to go without than the alternatives.

It doesn't make you a prude or mean you don't have sex normally. I think the people suggesting this are just as bad as the people saying we're not animals. It's like being at school and the frigid/slut calling. It's all a bit pathetic. Just accept that some people would be fine not having sex in this situation.

I get enough sex day to day, I am satisfied enough that I guess a week really wouldn't be a big deal. I'd be a bit disappointed but there's more to a holiday than sex, and it would be great when you had the reunion shag at home.

BlueCornishPixie · 06/04/2019 16:32

Delegator

It is selfish!

If you are awake at 3am I suspect a lot of other adult couples will be too.

I have always been able to see into neighbouring balconies.

It's a bit like involving others in your sex life. To me it feels gross in the same way a man wanking on the tube is gross, I would have similar feelings. Whilst a bedroom is overhearing a private moment, its not intended for you to be involved so i would be fine with it, if I saw someone on the balcony I would feel that the chance I might see or hear is involved in the sex. That's how I would feel if I encountered it. It's not like accidentally hearing someone have sex.

Crisscross82 · 06/04/2019 16:41

As far as I’m concerned our family holidays (for now) are about our children. We see it as a chance to relax and have fun doing family things, not palm them off to holiday club so that me and my dh can get jiggy. Plus, by the time we have been out and about and have had a long day sex is the usually the last thing on mine and my dh’s mind as we are usually exhausted. I don’t see and issue with it if parents have separate rooms to their kids but to do it whilst they are in the room is wrong on so many levels.

Tealtights · 06/04/2019 17:02

Oh god the "it's about the kids at this age" brigade are out. Quickly ladies, pack in your jobs, sew up your vaginas, get out your favourite yoghurt stained t shirt and tell your husband you'll see him in 18 years time when you might be allowed to matter again. But probably not as you'll be old and irrelevant by that time, but at least you won't want sex apparently! 😊

LittleChristmasMouse · 06/04/2019 17:05

Oh god the "it's about the kids at this age" brigade are out

Really? Do you think it's really ok to have sex in the same room as a child?

Tealtights · 06/04/2019 17:06

@LittleChristmasMouse yes that's exactly what I meant, orgies, anal, blow jobs, pop an eye mask on them and have at it.

LittleChristmasMouse · 06/04/2019 17:08

Sorry if I misunderstood your post. I'm not sure what you did mean in that case.

Tealtights · 06/04/2019 17:11

That I don't agree holidays are all about the children. (Equally I don't agree with adults having sex in the same bedroom as children to clarify!)

LittleChristmasMouse · 06/04/2019 17:13

Oh ok. Fair enough. I apologise for misunderstanding.

Tealtights · 06/04/2019 17:16

You don't need to, I was being an arse 😀

SkinnyPete · 06/04/2019 17:26

Oh god the "it's about the kids at this age" brigade are out.

I agree. Holidays are for everyone, and that includes DP connection time. Separate rooms, kids clubs, travel with friends/family for a bit of down time are all good. It's not always possible though.

Mary54 · 06/04/2019 17:38

Either don’t do it - it’s a personal thing obviously but to me it’s not important- or just do it extremely quietly and avoid making the bed creak

MadameAnchou · 06/04/2019 17:42

I wouldn't want to fuck someone who laid all the cooking on me on holiday at all, much less be organising a holiday with consideration as to where we'd shag. As for 'quickie on the balcony', you're fooling yourself if you think no one can see it and I've seen people ordered to leave a couple of AI resorts for doing this. It's disgusting.

Toooldfornonsense · 06/04/2019 17:44

Agree, don’t have sex til you get back. What are you? An adolescent boy?

PinkGlitter123 · 06/04/2019 17:52

Tealtights 😂😂😂😂😂

CountFosco · 06/04/2019 18:00

We stay in an Airbnb, have our own bedroom, DH and I share the cooking but eat out quite a bit as well. Holidays are a time when everyone is more relaxed and we have time to spend together as a family but also as a couple. So we need somwhere we can relax after the kids go to bed but also somewhere to enjoy sex without worrying about being heard or seen.

SrSteveOskowski · 06/04/2019 18:03

My friend and her DH have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. They went to Portugal last August. No 3 is due in May!

Bess66 · 06/04/2019 18:05

I want to go on holiday just to have sex on a balcony. Thanks MN.

FoxBaseBeta · 06/04/2019 18:09

I'm just amazed and jealous that people seem to be able to have relaxing holidays that aren't just about the kids.
DH and I spend every holiday completely fucking knackered. I need to trade my DC in Envy

Ninkaninus · 06/04/2019 18:18

LOL (actually did] at the pearl clutching and self righteous proclamations about everything being all about the children for years on end. It’s no wonder so many couples grow apart and completely fall apart once the children are older!

I like sex, I like to have as much of it as possible with the man I share my life with. I’m definitely one of the people who’d be looking forward to some good, passionate fun on a holiday, it’s half the bloody point of going away!

Luckily my children are older now so I don’t actually have to worry about this scenario. But hmmm, is there a children’s activity club he might enjoy where he could spend a couple of hours during the day? You could go back to the room and have some together knowing he’s happy and well looked after.

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