......to think that pram naps aren’t a problem?

[Njh1986]

Interesting debate on this subject with friends today; literally divided the group in half.

Background: Our 4 month old has a serious case of FOMO and major issues sleeping where it’s light. Self settles and sleeps beautifully in her cot at night, waking only for the odd feed. Our house is south facing and has two or more full height windows in all rooms apart from bathroom. We use a blackout blind AND blackout curtains at night but can’t in the day as her room gets too hot. I spent week upon miserable week recently trying to to train her to sleep in a semi light cot, then accidentally stumbled upon the magic of a pram plus Snoozeshade and she’s napped like a dream ever since!

I think it’s brilliant; I literally pop her in, switch white noise on and cover her up and she’s out in seconds. Pram doesn’t need to be moving, no dummy etc. Means I can be out and about shopping/walking/chilling in the garden at nap time without having to be tied to the house. Also meant she napped like a dream last weekend when she stayed with the in laws.

However, a couple of friends seem VERY convinced that she should be napping in her cot. Like, practically trying to stage an intervention! When I pressed them on this, their reasoning was that it’s just what babies should be doing, she can’t nap in her stroller as a toddler etc.

AIBU to carry on with my system, thinking that it works and it’s fine? MIL keeps telling me that babies have napped in prams since prams were invented, but I’d love to hear some more recent points of view!

‘Definitely agree with that. If I'm brutally honest I found OP's posts a little annoying/smug, particularly with the implication that her baby finds it hard to nap because she's just brighter/more engaged than the others, and I wonder if her friends did too. Either way I agree the dynamic in this group sounds a bit competitive and unhelpful.’

Wow, that is brutal. As someone who frequently refers to my child as somewhat of a nosey PITA (whom I also love dearly) directly TO the aforementioned friends, I doubt that this is the case.

In fact, many of our conversations revolve around two of them (not the other two, they have wonderfully imperfect babies like mine) proudly discussing all the things that their babies can do that my daughter is nowhere near achieving, whereas my contributions tend to be along the lines of ‘oh crap, is that why she’s not rolling then, because I don’t do tummy/torture time enough’.

If it makes you believe that I am not smug, please take note that my girl cannot roll, sit up, deliberately bring things other than her fingers to her mouth, has zero interest in toys and her favourite thing in the world is to watch me do housework from her bouncy chair. Hardly the sign of a ‘brighter/more engaged’ baby, right?

Perhaps my friends find me proud of what I have achieved career wise - I know one of them through work - but I’m sure I make up for it by frequently asking stupid questions that make it abundantly clear how much I am NOT a high flier in the motherhood stakes. In fact, I am frequently treated as the dunce of the group, hence coming on here to check that I was right in not automatically agreeing with them re cot naps.

I’m going to have some wine now.

The ideal is naps in the cot, car seat and buggy but they change so much things could be different in a few months. At 4 months my first would sleep anywhere and then when she hit 6 months she would only take naps on me during the day. Then she needed the cot.

Like others have said, you’ll have a bit more flex with buggy naps especially if you don’t need to push. We’ve been tied to the house really for the afternoon since my daughter moved to one nap. Before then, I’d be happy enough if one nap was at home and the others were out and about, in the car seat etc.

In fact, I am frequently treated as the dunce of the group

You need a new group.

My dd is nearly 3 and will only nap in her buggy or in the car or on a mat at nursery. It's useful! When it's raining it's a bit annoying as she does like to be walked to sleep. She's now getting to the age where she doesn't need a nap every day.

OP, I'm so sorry I upset you so badly - I really didn't mean to. 'A little bit annoying/smug' wasn't supposed to be searing criticism! I'm really sorry that my words clearly hurt, a lot more than I intended them to. Please forget them and treat them as the silly, thoughtless comment they were.

A pram is so much better.
Just lay it down as far as it will go...

Really no need to be stuck to the house.

And why cant a toddler nap in the buggy, ofcourse they can. Its so much easier.

DD always napped in her pram when she was little and utterly shite at sleep. The pram was often in the dining room too. She then easily started napping in her cot when she was older and got her shit together more. Ignore your ‘friends’ and their weird horror.

Pram naps are the best - like falling asleep in the couch with the tv on

@NewAccount270219 what did you think was going to happen, calling a new mum asking about her DD's sleep smug? Now that my two are 6 and 3 and very much their own people, I could shrug off your comments, but when I was a new mum what you said would really have stung, and I would have thought about it and wondered if there was just something ELSE I was doing wrong (the way I talked about my baby) for days.

To the person who asked about advice in Finland--haven't ever been there with family below -10; my people all live in the south of Finland and while it does get properly cold down there, it's relatively rare.

Never thought norwegian kids would ever be the pansy ones Natsku 😂 you guys must have better bags than us, we have to bring them in at -10 and I hate it! They always sleep better outside.

They do sleep wonderfully outside! I would dress mine in vest, sleepsuit, socks and mittens, hat or balaclava, snowsuit with hood up on the head, woollen socks, then insulated booties and mittens,, then inside the sleeping bag, on top of a sheepskin, with a blanket tucked around on top. Snug as a bug in a rug!

I think it sounds great! My friend has always done this and her 2.5yr old still naps in his buggy. My 2.5yr old naps in his cot but now won't nap anywhere else and I'd love him to nap in his buggy! What's it got to do with your friends anyway?!

Each child and parent is different. There are no rules as such with sleep. Do as you please. Similarly some parents co-sleep at night, others cry it out or sleep train. I’m very attachment parenty and so many friends insinuated my sleep techniques were wrong/ too soft etc etc. Who cares? I just stopped discussing it with them.
Just don’t even debate it and get into discussions about it. For some reasons some parents seem to think their way is the only way to parent.

Also buggy sleeps are very convenient as you are not confined to the house for naps. Particularly handy when you have more than one child.

I'm also a new mum (one with a slightly older baby who's a much, much more problematic sleeper than OP's) and I've apologised sincerely, but thanks for sticking the boot in, callitloneliness

🙄 So where did their kids nap when they were out?
Did they take a travel cot with them JUST incase they wanted to nap they had a cot for them? 🤣
I like to do my shopping when DS is asleep .....in his pram, it's easier....

FWIW dd2 would only nap in her pushchair once she learnt how to climb out of her cot. I used to have to bring the pushchair into the house .

So toddlers don't always need a cot for a nap.

My 5 month old naps in his pram, his moses basket, on the sofa, on the floor, in his bouncy chair, on my shoulder.. Can't say he's ever napped in his cot during the day.

The best thing I learned as a parent is that ANYTHING is only a problem when it’s a problem for YOU. Only when it becomes a pain to you or your child you can fix it. Apply this mantra to all those ‘rod for your own back’ people who just love to be right.

I have always had my little boy (6 months) napping in a sling. I get lots of comments about how i'll struggle when he gets bigger... I guess people just try to be helpful. I love it!

I know it's personal experience but I did the same, as we had no choice really because of noisy building work next door next to the cot room. Transferred to cot absolutely fine once that was finished and continues to this day to nap nicely in a pushchair at nanny's!

Had my son in the pram too!

I've been pondering this more. Dd2 at age 2 also used to put her dolls into their pushchair in the dining room for their naps like I did with her. It was very very cute. Its an unusual turn of events but MIL here is absolutely right and normal and your friends are nuts

My now 40 year old would nap anywhere but the cot. Behind the sofa was one of her favourites!. As an aside, find it fascinating nowadays how people get involved in other people's lives, I can't recall ever having this type of conversation with friends!

Just do what works best for you.

Do whatever works for you and your baby!