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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

......to think that pram naps aren’t a problem?

153 replies

Njh1986 · 04/04/2019 19:35

Interesting debate on this subject with friends today; literally divided the group in half.

Background: Our 4 month old has a serious case of FOMO and major issues sleeping where it’s light. Self settles and sleeps beautifully in her cot at night, waking only for the odd feed. Our house is south facing and has two or more full height windows in all rooms apart from bathroom. We use a blackout blind AND blackout curtains at night but can’t in the day as her room gets too hot. I spent week upon miserable week recently trying to to train her to sleep in a semi light cot, then accidentally stumbled upon the magic of a pram plus Snoozeshade and she’s napped like a dream ever since!

I think it’s brilliant; I literally pop her in, switch white noise on and cover her up and she’s out in seconds. Pram doesn’t need to be moving, no dummy etc. Means I can be out and about shopping/walking/chilling in the garden at nap time without having to be tied to the house. Also meant she napped like a dream last weekend when she stayed with the in laws.

However, a couple of friends seem VERY convinced that she should be napping in her cot. Like, practically trying to stage an intervention! When I pressed them on this, their reasoning was that it’s just what babies should be doing, she can’t nap in her stroller as a toddler etc.

AIBU to carry on with my system, thinking that it works and it’s fine? MIL keeps telling me that babies have napped in prams since prams were invented, but I’d love to hear some more recent points of view!

OP posts:

IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets · 05/04/2019 09:12

Your friends would be horrified by my situation then! Poor DC3 has to have all naps in the pram during the week because of having to do the school run at 8:30, 11:30 and 3:30. She either falls asleep during the run and I leave her in there to continue when we get home, or I put her down in the pram at home and just push her to school in it once it’s time to go. She’s pretty laid back though, so at weekends she will go down in her Moses basket in our room too.

beargrass · 05/04/2019 09:20

Past that stage now but it's totally fine and I remember wishing so hard that mine did this! (We had a snooze shade) But no. Cot or car only

NewAccount270219 · 05/04/2019 09:24

I don't think it's helpful to have other mums around you who criticise you, there's more than enough of that from other randoms in life.

Definitely agree with that. If I'm brutally honest I found OP's posts a little annoying/smug, particularly with the implication that her baby finds it hard to nap because she's just brighter/more engaged than the others, and I wonder if her friends did too. Either way I agree the dynamic in this group sounds a bit competitive and unhelpful.

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/04/2019 09:33

4 children and I've never done naps in their cots. Moses baskets when they were tiny then - in my arms, pram/pushchair, car, bouncy chair, sofa. I liked them to somewhere I could look at them because they are so lovely when they are asleep.

CallItLoneliness · 05/04/2019 09:53

This is a cultural thing. In Finland, for example, all babies nap in prams. Outside. Even in winter. www.bbc.com/news/magazine-21537988

prettyhibiscusflowers · 05/04/2019 09:59

I’m not one to give advice because usually parenting advice is usually a matter of opinion.
I do always say to people though ‘sod anyone else, do what works for you and your baby’.
If it’s working for you then carry on with it.

Tolleshunt · 05/04/2019 10:15

Wtf! You're living the dream, OP!

You'll be the one who'll be able to get out and about as you please every day, while your friends will be tied to going home at lunchtime every day.

Kobea · 05/04/2019 10:20

Sorry but my son has napped on the floor, sofa, stairs, pram, cot, on a chair and I haven't batted an eyelid at any of it. If it's nap time then it's nap time they sleep where they are. Your baby is lucky they're in a comfy pram

hsegfiugseskufh · 05/04/2019 10:40

ds NEVER once napped in his cot. Literally not once. Did in his moses basket when he was super tiny.

Always napped in his pram after that, or on the sofa, or on me.

Didn't matter to me where he napped to be honest as long as it was safe, and tbh I really enjoyed the peace of a long walk out with a sleeping baby in a pram! he is almost 3 now and I miss it!

Damntheman · 05/04/2019 11:32

If Finland is anything like Norway callit, they will at least bring the babies inside to sleep once it gets below minus ten ;)

MrsBlondie · 05/04/2019 11:39

My children never ever napped in their cots. Only in pushchairs or on me. They are now 13 and 6 and both sleep fine in their beds!!

LynseyLou1982 · 05/04/2019 11:39

Nothing wrong with this I did the same with my little boy till just recently and he's 13 months. Now he's started nursery he's more amenable to sleeping in his cot but prior to this he'd just scream his head off if we tried to get him to nap in the cot.

Natsku · 05/04/2019 12:27

If Finland is anything like Norway callit, they will at least bring the babies inside to sleep once it gets below minus ten

Newborns yeah (they tell you in the hospital no colder than that when they are tiny) but older babies and toddlers the limit tends to be around -20/-25 (depending how far north you live!)

feebeecat · 05/04/2019 13:05

I assume your friends plan to never leave the house again - what are they going to do when the dc are older? Or if they have more and older ones need to go to school?
At that age mine slept in cots in the morning, although had a travel cot set up downstairs, so it could be anywhere. And later in the day, they would sleep wherever they were. As they got older that included prams, cars, floors, face down in their dinner. One had a particular fascination with the kitchen cupboards, so I cleared one out for her, figured at least I knew where she was & it was safer that way. Got suspicious one day when one of them was standing very quietly, leaning against sofa, she was also asleep. The main thing I learnt is, tired babies/toddlers will sleep where/when they want to and you must never wake them - tired toddlers are really scary

NewAccount270219 · 05/04/2019 14:35

I know people mean well with the 'my babies just fell asleep wherever they were when they were tired!' stuff, but it's things like this that make lots of people think they're doing it wrong - not all babies do this (and OP's baby, who needs white noise and pitch black, certainly isn't!). If your baby just gets tired and goes to sleep lucky you, but it doesn't mean someone whose baby won't sleep and just screams until given their chosen conditions is a less skilful parent than you or that they've somehow not 'taught' their child to be as flexible as yours

SmallPinkBear · 05/04/2019 15:25

My dd didn’t nap in her bed until 18 months! She was fine in the evening but would only sleep in her pushchair in the day. I didn’t even need to push it or use a sleepshade in the end, just being strapped in and reclined and she would go to sleep. I didn’t care - I just wanted her to sleep!

TheBestSpoon · 05/04/2019 16:11

Serious question: for the people whose babies fell asleep in the pram and they wheeled them indoors - how? We have three steps up to our front and back door and I have no idea how to get DS in the house once he's asleep in the pram. Don't most people have some form of step?

Plus, how do you then remove outdoor clothes once indoors so they don't get too hot?? I'd love to get DS sleeping in the pram more if I could work out the answer to these questions!

outpinked · 05/04/2019 16:17

Your MIL is correct, friends are batshit. I have four DC, youngest is five months old and they have all napped in the pram. DS always sleeps in his pram when we go for a long walk.

PetuniaPetunia · 05/04/2019 16:21

My theory is: pram for naps and cot for nighttime. That way your baby knows when it's time for a long sleep , or a short sleep. (In theory)

MissB83 · 05/04/2019 17:04

My DS has only EVER napped in the day either on me (contact nap) or in his pram. Since I preferred to be out and about particularly during Mat leave, I did a LOT of walking during nap times, and lost two and a half stone!

putting a positive spin on it...

Sewrainbow · 05/04/2019 17:09

Yanbu, do what works for you!

Natsku · 05/04/2019 17:51

Does your pram have a removable carry cot? If the weather was bad I would unclick the carry cot from the pram and carry it up the steps and inside and either leave him in the porch so I didn't have to open his outdoor clothes up, or bring him in and unzip his snowsuit and gently pull his hat off and he'd usually stay asleep for that

TheBestSpoon · 05/04/2019 18:26

@natsku It does have a carrycot, but at 15 weeks he's already outgrown it! I always found it quite awkward to unclip anyway. We don't have a porch, unfortunately. I probably could at least pop his buttons open though - think I'm too paranoid about waking him sometimes...

Natsku · 05/04/2019 18:31

Big lad! Just try opening the buttons, you might be pleasantly surprised by him not waking.

QuaintDuck · 05/04/2019 18:36

So if they only nap on their cot do you have to be home always at nap times?! What happens if you have appointments in nap time?! Both mine have slept in prams for naps. Plus when under 6 months you don't have to stay in the room

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