To think about getting married 4 weeks after baby's due date?

[NotReadyForThisX2]

Me and Dp saw the perfect wedding venue and we were planning on getting married next year autumn/winter time. We're unexpectedly expecting Dc two now. The venue we love emailed some dates at a reduced rate for a smallish intimate wedding and the only one we could potentially do is four weeks after baby is due.
With another baby and me reducing hours at work etc, we've talked about bringing the wedding date forward and it was quite a bit cheaper so I emailed to say we'd have that date and paid a deposit.

Now I'm thinking what the hell have I done. I'm going to look an absolute mess aren't I? And I won't be able to properly enjoy it.
Dp is keen to keep the date and thinks we'll be fine, it's only immediate family and close friends we'll be inviting and he thinks we can just do a big party for everyone else a bit later when I'm ready for it.

I'm so unsure, on the positive it's much cheaper, we'll only have close family and friends and we can't invite more so that solves the who shall/should we invite. We'll be married and considering I'll be on mat leave (again) and reducing hours at work when I'm due back, it's a bit more protection for me.
But what would I wear that I can still breastfeed a new born in? And will I actually feel up to it?
Ds is only 6 months now and I was lucky and pretty quick to recover with him and back in my pre pregnancy clothes pretty soon, but a second so quickly I'm thinking it might not be as easy this time. Plus there's the chance baby could be late so only a few weeks old, although Ds was two weeks early.

I'm really not sure what to do. Dp's now set on that date but I'm worried I'll end up feeling like I've missed out and wishing we'd waited.

Also not RTFT but I got married when DD was 7 weeks. We had booked already when I found out I was pregnant so we just went with it. All fine, no problems. Just the dress caused me a bit of worry but I managed to get in without a problem

Also not RTFT but I got married when DD was 7 weeks. We had booked already when I found out I was pregnant so we just went with it. All fine, no problems. Just the dress caused me a bit of worry but I managed to get in without a problem

I worry/wonder if with two Dc it's just going to slip from our priorities and we'll end up never doing it.

I can see that happening to a lot of people. I'd rather get married pregnant than with a newborn not least because I have glowing skin and thick hair during pregnancy whereas postpartum half my hair falls out

Hell no!

The dress is already what's giving me problems @PengThePenguin. I tried a dress on that I fell in love with but I'm not sure it would work after a baby or how I'd manage feeding.

I went for my dress fitting at 12 weeks pregnant and then again 2 weeks after DD was born (IIRC)

My thinking was that I'd be around that sort of size 7 weeks pp but I ended up having to have it taken in a bit I think. The dress shop people were really helpful and understanding.

Looking back though I based my dress choice on the fact that I'd be a bit blobby and if I was to do it all again (not pregnant/just had baby) I'd have wanted something completely different I think.

Not this one (don't want to post the one in case Dp looks) but similar in style to this one. Could it work after birth?

If you express its possible. Babies at that time just sleep and eat anyway.

In saying that, I gave birth almost 8 weeks ago too my first and have yet to properly look in a mirror. I feel like I've aged 15 years in that time.

I got married 6 months after I had my first child, I was a bit 😬 about whether I’d be looking my best only 6 months after giving birth. As it happened I shrunk back about 4 weeks after I gave birth, I was v fit and skinny before I got pregnant though. I could have probably had the wedding sooner in terms of how I looked, but logistically it would have been harder in terms of feeding. By 6 months I didn’t mind the odd bottle of formula and I just sneaked off to use my pump (we stayed at our venue) as I couldn’t feed in my dress without unbuttoning the back, plus I was drinking too much to feed.

With my second child 18 months later we went on holiday abroad with a 5 week old, I recovered pretty much within days of the birth and was feeling great by 4 weeks. So it is doable physically I’d say if you have a smooth birth. I think the logistics of looking after such a small baby would put me off more than anything though, but that’s just me, you might not mind that.

If I had done the same I would have been out of hospital 3 days..... and while I probably could have pulled myself together I’m not sure I’d have been able to form any memories due to sleep deprivation and stress. I wouldn’t do it

My cousin got married - in church, proper wedding - hours after her seventh child was born. One of her older DCs walked up the aisle behind her, carrying the baby. Of course she hadn't planned it like that, baby was a bit early!

It’s not that uncommon to have only just left hospital, out of my five close friends (9 babies between us), two of us have ended up in hospital for 1-2 weeks with baby having an infection, one readmitted with jaundice at 3 weeks. I wouldn’t risk it, it isn’t cheap if you have to cancel it/can’t go!

Dd was so overdue I had just given birth by caeserian 4 weeks after her due date.

Yes it will be easier with a 2 year old and a one year old, as with a newborn there are more variables. You have no idea what you're getting or when!
And I can't imagine wearing that (very beautiful) dress 4 weeks after giving birth.
1 it's white
2 no way to breastfeed
3 you need to prioritise your comfort... I was walking around topless most days trying to heal sore nipples... many people have stitches etc.
I'm sure it's doable. Newborns sleep a lot. The ceremony sounds short and your guests all know you well.
But you will be so tired, don't know how the birth will go, and will probably be better off with no extra stuff to organise so early on.

I went to a very big do three weeks after DS2 was born. I'd not the easiest of births (actually, the birth was fine, but I was ill so it wasn't plain sailing), but the day itself went really well, with everyone accommodating me breastfeeding him when he needed it.

If it's your wedding, you dictate what's happening. It should be easy peasy.

I'd go for a skirt and top, it would be easier to feed in one you can just lift the top up.

I was the same with Ds @OneDayillSleep. Back in my pre pregnancy jeans a few weeks after and we went away when he was three weeks. I go to the gym and do Pilates a few times a week so hoping that like Ds I loose the bump it quick (ish). I feel I'm bigger quicker this time round though so might not be so lucky.

Not sure how I'll manage feeding other than just going to the room and undressing. Think if we do it I'll wear the dress for the wedding/photos and then change into something I can feed easier in.

Is it common to stay in hospital? Other than c sections I don't know any mums who've stayed in more than one night (admittedly I don't know many mums). We left the same day with Ds, in fact we never even went on the ward, we left from the delivery room.

If it’s just close family, I would go for it. You want to be married, and that’s the important thing.

I went back to work (through necessity) less than a week after DS was born (performance-type role), and though it was strange, it worked fine, and in pictures of me then I look strangely put-together, possibly because of the amount of behind-the-scenes support from DH and others!

If you have good back-up it’ll be fine. Birth doesn’t have to be something that lays you low for weeks...

As my DC1 was a preemie I couldn’t even imagine it, by her due date she was home but I was still stupidly over protective and wouldn’t want 20 odd people around her! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Plus the Emcs meant I would also not be keen.

I fell pregnant and was due four weeks before my wedding date. I moved my wedding back a year.

Possibly being only two weeks post partum, bleeding, with sore leaky boobs, possibly exhausted, not feeling or looking my best wasn't how I wanted to spend my wedding day.

I would do it, personally, as long as the wedding doesn't need too much organising, and your family are willing to help if necessary.
I've had 3 babies, and would have been fine physically each time, but these things are difficult to predict.

I’d say it’s easier to get married while you are pregnant than with a newborn. Is there a reason that you can’t?

You want to get married. You love the venue and younwouidnt be able to easily afford it at a later date

It will be family and close friends

Do it

They will all help with new baby and give cuddles etc

Yes you may be bleeding and sore boobs

Or you may be fine - tho I was sore to sit down after tearing and stitches and op to stop bleeding - but 3w later I was out at friends with baby and back to enjoying life - I suffered from hg whole preg and continually sick nauseous or lying still innquiet dark room trying not to be sick

Get married then.

It’s one day and sure will be fine

More I don't want to than can't @Bluesmartiesarebest. Although we'd struggle now to fit a date in when both our parents were available (due to holidays/events). It would end up being very soon to the baby being due if we did and then there's the what if, he/she is early and remembering late pregnancy I was more uncomfortable than I was after Ds was born, so don't fancy that.

It's either soon after baby or waiting until next year like we planned. I'm just not sure. I want the nice wedding I imagined but honestly think it's going to be a waste of money when we could use it for something more useful and we're going to be eating up our savings when we could do with them. Then there's the fact we'll have a two and one year old to entertain.
If I knew I'd have a birth and recovery like Ds I'd stick with the four weeks after, but I obviously can't predict that.

I'm not worried about the organising or anything. My mum and Dp's would do anything that needed it and I trust them, plus there isn't much to organise really.
The day itself other than feeding doesn't worry me, as it's pretty relaxed and I wouldn't be bothered saying I need to go rest upstairs or anything. It's a lovely area with nice walks etc so guests could go off for a walk between things if we wanted time in the room, I'd probably schedule that in to be fair and then everyone would know after the ceremony and afternoon tea, we'd be going to the room and they'd be free to explore until dinner.

It's honestly if I'm going to look an absolute mess (ridiculously vain I know). And breastfeeding in a dress, but I'm thinking I'm better looking for a dress that's just easy to take off, then just going to the room to feed. And changing for the evening into something breastfeeding friendly.