To think about getting married 4 weeks after baby's due date?

[NotReadyForThisX2]

Me and Dp saw the perfect wedding venue and we were planning on getting married next year autumn/winter time. We're unexpectedly expecting Dc two now. The venue we love emailed some dates at a reduced rate for a smallish intimate wedding and the only one we could potentially do is four weeks after baby is due.
With another baby and me reducing hours at work etc, we've talked about bringing the wedding date forward and it was quite a bit cheaper so I emailed to say we'd have that date and paid a deposit.

Now I'm thinking what the hell have I done. I'm going to look an absolute mess aren't I? And I won't be able to properly enjoy it.
Dp is keen to keep the date and thinks we'll be fine, it's only immediate family and close friends we'll be inviting and he thinks we can just do a big party for everyone else a bit later when I'm ready for it.

I'm so unsure, on the positive it's much cheaper, we'll only have close family and friends and we can't invite more so that solves the who shall/should we invite. We'll be married and considering I'll be on mat leave (again) and reducing hours at work when I'm due back, it's a bit more protection for me.
But what would I wear that I can still breastfeed a new born in? And will I actually feel up to it?
Ds is only 6 months now and I was lucky and pretty quick to recover with him and back in my pre pregnancy clothes pretty soon, but a second so quickly I'm thinking it might not be as easy this time. Plus there's the chance baby could be late so only a few weeks old, although Ds was two weeks early.

I'm really not sure what to do. Dp's now set on that date but I'm worried I'll end up feeling like I've missed out and wishing we'd waited.

Honestly I wouldn't and I'm a bit of a "walk it off" person. I was bridesmaid/matron of honour at my sister's very small, very quick registry office and small sit down chic hotel evening meal when my youngest of three was six weeks old and it was hard! Birth was uncomplicated, I had family and friends to help but I completely underestimated how tired I'd be and I would have rather done anything else that day than put a pair of shoes on and brush my hair!

When's realistically the earliest/best time I should think about doing it? I don't want to get married pregnant so it's going to be after this baby is born.

Dp's definitely losing patience with me now.

I would probably personally wait about 6 months. Gets you well past the cluster feeding and you will have a better idea of your size and shape, and allows plenty of recovery time too

I think 4 weeks is a bit soon.

If it was me when the baby was 5-6 months, but mine were much easier by that age. Not with a 2 and 1yo though - mine were close in age and when the youngest gets walking too I found it harder.

I think it would be fine, as it's just close family and friends. A nice chance for them to meet the new arrival too. By 3 weeks pp I'd stopped bleeding, figure had gone back to normal, breastfeeding was established. I was still a bit sore but much less so than when I was pregnant and had SPD.

You could wear a relaxed fit empire line dress, low cut so it's easy to get a boob out, with a nice shawl if you're not comfortable feeding openly.

My first was 2 weeks early and the second two weeks late (and I'm guessing a similar age gap as was pregnant before she was 6 months old)

I wouldn't aim for a wedding a few weeks after giving birth - I'd rather do it during the pregnancy or a decent (6months or so) time after - once you have adapted to life with the new family size

No way. You want to look forward to your wedding day and enjoy it. I'd consider it when baby is 6 months onwards, no sooner. By then there's a good chance you'll be feeling well and up for a celebration. If it's a matter of money I'd still rather do it later and go for a cheaper venue.

My DC were sigmnificantly overdue and both traumatic births. A no from me therefore!

I think we're just going to have to go back to the original next autumn/winter time. Baby being 6 months puts us at the start of the busy summer wedding time and I'm not keen on the idea of a summer wedding really.

Dp won't be too happy, but it's tough. He should of thought of that before he got me pregnant.

Don’t think I’d got out my pyjamas by that point....

Not read the whole thread but I got married when my baby was 6 weeks old. Totally do able

I’d just do it- especially if it’s only a small wedding. But I’m a bit gung-ho! I think just go for it.

Go for it!! Too many on MN would have you think giving birth has you virtually housebound for months!! If you've family there to help I'm sure you can juggle feeding/expressing in advance, it'll be fun and with those nearest and dearest to you, good luck x

What did you wear @Zebraantelopegiraffe? And were you breastfeeding?
(If you don't mind answering).

I'm really not sure now with the later posters. We'll be staying the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding so won't be a rush to get ready and to the venue in the morning. My mum will be with me to help get baby ready and Ds will be with Dp for him to get ready. The actual ceremony is only short, we can add stuff but we're planning on keeping it simple, so really what 30 mins. Then photos, but baby could be in the pram then and I'm sure someone will walk him (don't actually know it's a him but I feel it is).
It will be winter so can wear a coat/wrap or something which may help, it's really what I'd wear or if I'll feel sore or uncomfortable

Definitely not, I would wait a year and do it when it’s cheap the following year. I can’t imagine anything worse than dealing with the stress of a wedding just after having had a baby. Enjoy your baby, plan a wedding for when life is easier and you can enjoy yourself.

Wow definitely not.
Sounds like hard work.
You will enjoy it more if you wait a bit until baby is okder

That's part of my worry though @mindutopia will it be easier with a two and a one year old? I don't know if we wait if we'll get the package we can for this year. Originally we were looking at next year autumn/winter but it was a lot more expensive, granted a bigger wedding with more invited but if we wait, I'll feel we should go back to that original plan. I worry/wonder if with two Dc it's just going to slip from our priorities and we'll end up never doing it.

I had already bought my dress, corsett body with full skirt, no I wasnt breastfeeding at that point. It was only a small wedding, 30 in the day but bigger night do. It was fine BUT my third baby, who was very chilled, and I was chilled about wedding. Normal delivery, some stitches. I might have just been lucky though.

Try Seraphine for a good and flattering bridal dress that will fit you post partum - I had my registry wedding four weeks before my baby was due and I got my dress there they were really wonderful with me.

I can’t imagine getting married four weeks after - those photos are forever and I looked like absolute shit at that point 😂 these places will always get to push you to get a full booking sheet but don’t be pressed into it

Easier to do it with two non-walkers than wait a year and have definitely one, even possibly two, toddlers to race around after!

That does seem like very hard going. I can see how people manage it with three or four month old babies, once you've recovered from the birth if anything it's probably easier than it would be with an older mobile baby, or toddler. But four weeks after due date, I'd say that's too risky.

You may well be fine, especially as a second timer. Your baby could also be 6 or 7 weeks old then. Totally plausible. I reckon I could manage something like the day you have planned 6 weeks after a straightforward birth, all being well. But if you go overdue and/or need an emergency section, which does happen even second time round ask me how I know, you could still be really struggling.

Personally I'd do a bare bones legal ceremony now then have the wedding celebration you want later, at your leisure. I know you said you didn't want to do it upduffed, but that's what I'd do. I'd think of the legal ceremony as a glorified visit to a solicitor and the celebration comes later.

I also wouldn't be particularly impressed at your partner losing patience. He can have an opinion on getting married in the immediate postpartum period when a small human has exited his body.

Unless you were just turning up and saying vows absolutely no way.

All kinds of crap can happen - I was readmitted to hospital a week after and I’m nearly a week and I’ll for a further week after. If someone told me I’d have to get married the following week with my reflux baby I honestly think I’d still be crying.

I’m another one saying just do it. You’ll have lots of help from friends and family, it’s a small event and it’s just one day.

You’re as likely to be fine as not. If you are all well and good, if not, you sit in a chair every moment you can, let the guests come to you and get waited on like a queen while others tend to the babies.

Next year you’ll be running around after two toddlers at least one likely at a clingy stage and won’t have a moment to enjoy the day anyway.

I meant it slightly lighthearted @Sitdownstandup, he's getting fed up of me changing my mind and booking weddings that I then say I don't want anymore. This is the third I've booked now. He's happy to do it now or wait, but he wants it booked or like me he thinks it will get pushed aside and we'll never get round to it. If it's next year he's fine with that if we book it, but I don't want to book yet, because it's a lot of money to commit to when I'm currently on mat leave and I'll be going back to work to basically stay mat leave again.

I probably would go for it as long as you keep your expectations low and focus on the most important bit- getting married. I personally would rather do it with a tiny baby and a 1year old rather than a 2 and a 1 year old as I think those ages are harder to juggle. I would be more worried about my recovery time post birth. I would want to feel fab on my wedding day and I didn't 4 weeks post birth, although I might have with some pampering and hair/ make up artists (and loads of family help!).