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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the longest time you have stayed away without kids?

91 replies

Mangetoutrodney · 02/04/2019 20:00

My kids are 7 & 11 and I have never left them!
DH has a big birthday coming up & we are going to Spain for 5 nts with my mum looking after the kids. I think we really do need a break and a rest but I am anxious/feeling guilty/ worried they will get ill etc

I want to relax & enjoy it but I am just worrying so much about leaving them!

Aibu to ask the longest time you have left your kids?

OP posts:
BigSandyBalls2015 · 02/04/2019 21:44

Tor Shock, has your 14 year old had sleepovers or camps away? Do they go out with friends?

megletthesecond · 02/04/2019 21:45

3 nights when I was in hospital. Livin' the dream Hmm.

Yeahyeahyeahyeeeeah · 02/04/2019 21:46

as a family of 4 we spend 24 hours together(they dont go to school

And that there is a lifetime of therapy

Pretamum · 02/04/2019 21:48

1 week while on honeymoon - DS was 3 1/2 years old. He loved spending quality time with both sets of grandparents, we caught up on three years of missed lie ins and ate in restaurants past 6pm! Bliss. We missed him loads but it was lovely to remember what life was like before he came along and spend some real time together without having to parent. And to sit in a cafe in peace! Grin

Eastpoint · 02/04/2019 21:48

3 nights & they are between 17 & 21. They’ve each gone away without me/DH for over a week with one of them spending 5 weeks somewhere remote last year.

SouthernComforts · 02/04/2019 21:55

I've had quite a few 2 night breaks, one 3 night break, and I'm planning a 10 day trip next year, when dd will be almost 11. She gets her beach holidays and I get my city breaks it's a win win.

JustAWaferThinMint · 02/04/2019 21:55

DS used to go to his grandparents for a week at a time from around 2 so I could do work travel. DH was military so also away and for much longer. Now they are school age, GP come to us. But, DH is usually around, so it isn't the same. I think we longest we went away as a couple was when DS was about one and we had 2 nights for a friend's wedding 400 miles from home.

I would have no qualms about leaving them now at 13 and 8 so we could go away. We just can't afford it (either ££ or holiday days).

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 02/04/2019 22:01

Never but only because DS isn't quite five months old yet. When I was young we used to go away for a fortnight with GPs every summer, it was to help with childcare over the long summer holiday but DB and I loved it, sometimes we'd go away for a week and stay with GPs at their house for a week, lots of fun. I'm sure your children will love having time with their grandparents

Thadeus · 02/04/2019 22:03

2 weeks when he was 17 months old

Ribbonsonabox · 02/04/2019 22:07

We left our 2 year old with my parents for 5 days... it was really worth doing. He had a great time with them... although I suspect they fed him on mostly pizza and ice cream! (They live abroad so visit for a couple of weeks at a time when they come across)
And we really had a great time... we got pregnant 3 months into our relationship and both our families live abroad so as you can imagine we dont get much alone time together... even on our wedding we just had 1 night alone together.
So that 5 days was amazing. We stayed in a gorgeous hotel in Edinburgh. It was really romantic.

And we have a baby now as well as our son lol! My parents are taking them both for a couple of days in August... son is 4 now... so we are averaging a few days every few years!!

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/04/2019 22:07

First time she was left was when she was 1 month old. For a Christmas night out. Also because we'd booked an overnight away well before she was born.

Generationrenter · 02/04/2019 22:07

A week when eldest was 3 for work (She was with her dad)
And 3 nights when she was 3 also for a city break to try and save our relationship.
Since number 2 came along I haven’t had a day off!

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 02/04/2019 22:11

Mine was 7 days when I went away with dp. But eldest was 17 and with his dad, and youngest was 13 and with his dad. So although I ‘left them’ they were with their dads so it doesn’t really count does it? But I still text and FaceTime with them daily.

BasilBrushes · 02/04/2019 22:23

The longest was last year when my in laws took the DC away for 5 nights, they were 3 and 6. They had a great time. I missed them but it was also nice to have some time with DH (we scrubbed the house, how rock and roll!). They’re doing it again this year.

Ihatehashtags · 03/04/2019 10:25

I agree @doyouavocado it’s lunacy! Suffocating for sure

MammaG1417 · 03/04/2019 11:28

We went on honeymoon for 11 nights this year and left kids (4 & 18months) with my parents and PIL. Kids loved it, they regularly spend weekends at my parents as both me and OH work weekends. They love it, get spoiled rotten.

I wouldn't worry too much about your children, they'll have a blast with Nan.

wibbleee · 03/04/2019 11:31

4 days just me while I hiked/ camped a trail. It was wonderful.

SammySamSam09 · 03/04/2019 11:31

About 4 days and the oldest is 17. They however go away on school trips a lot and have been away for 2 weeks at the most but go away about 4 times a year. Lucky kids get away more than anyone I know Grin

Namechangetoask2019 · 03/04/2019 11:34

19 days when DD was 13 months for our honeymoon. She is 14 (nearly 15) and we have had at least a week away without her every year of her life. I was a SAHM till she was 8 and the only worked term time till she was 13. She has never been in any sort of child care. We have a wonderful relationship and she is also very close to my mum who has looked after when we are away.

Oblomov19 · 03/04/2019 11:54

A long weekend, to Barcelona, for my 40th. My sil looked after the boys, in our home.
I didn't worry. I didn't give it z second thought.
Don't you trust your mil/sil/whoever is looking after them.

Why have you never left them before?

Ds2 loves going to my other sister in laws (I have 5!!) for a week, or 4, or 5 days, because she has dogs.

Ds1 went for a week, With the school to Poland and went and went to Auschwitz.

Ds1 and Ds2 have both been or a 3 day, 2 night, school trip, at primary school. Many schools do this these days. don't yours?

What exactly is it that you're worried about? or is it just that you'll miss them? or the other concerns that you have?

michaelbaubles · 03/04/2019 11:59

I'm divorced and exH has them for up to 3 weeks at a time. DC are 5 and 7. The first week or so is fine and dandy and I love the time to myself! The second week OK but by the third week I do miss them a lot. It helps that I have basically unlimited access to video calls with them so get to see their faces and find out how they are. And also that I know he's a good parent to them and they're being looked after and treated as a priority and given lots of attention (which isn't always the case at home as I work FT and am always busy! So I think it's very positive for them to have the time away).

notacooldad · 03/04/2019 12:01

I was away for a week on a training course when DS1 was 7 months old.
I went away on a working holiday to Jersey for a week when Ds 2 was 5 months and Ds1 was 3.
I have never had any guilt about it.

My mum and dad used to go on holiday regularly in the 70s. It started when I was in primary school and my sister is 5 years younger than me. They went fir 2 week every year. I love going to nans and was excited when mum and came back with loads of Spanish sweets and treats.

Lungelady · 03/04/2019 12:03

6 nights in NYC. Left them with dh. Never phoned home....this was 20 years ago.

MonstranceClock · 03/04/2019 12:09

as a family of 4 we spend 24 hours together(they dont go to school

My cousins grew up in a family like this. The eldest, now 25, escaped at 20 and has seen his parents twice since then, will do anything he can to avoid going back to that family. The youngest, now 19, has such crippliing anxiety that he cant leave the house and do anything by himself and has attempted suicide 3 times. Please don't do this to your kids!! It's so unhealthy.

uknownothingjonsnow · 03/04/2019 12:15

The PP that said they spend 24 hours together and all those saying it's not healthy etc .......there might be a very valid reason for it!

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