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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the longest time you have stayed away without kids?

91 replies

Mangetoutrodney · 02/04/2019 20:00

My kids are 7 & 11 and I have never left them!
DH has a big birthday coming up & we are going to Spain for 5 nts with my mum looking after the kids. I think we really do need a break and a rest but I am anxious/feeling guilty/ worried they will get ill etc

I want to relax & enjoy it but I am just worrying so much about leaving them!

Aibu to ask the longest time you have left your kids?

OP posts:
sockatoe · 02/04/2019 21:05

I've not done it yet, but my kids are much younger. When I was within the age range of your kids, my parents went abroad and my sister and I went to my Grandma's. I have really lovely memories of it being a special time and a real treat for us Grin

Mummyshark2019 · 02/04/2019 21:08

Never.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 02/04/2019 21:12

Ages ago - 2 nights when ds2 was about 3 yrs old. Missed them like mad.

We recently did 1 night away for the first time in seven years, leaving the three dc (15, 10, 6) with my mum. We tell ourselves we can’t stay longer because the youngest woukd be upset. In reality, we just can’t face longer away from them —but when they are all crowding me in the kitchen on a weekday evening I could easily do it— 😄

azulmariposa · 02/04/2019 21:14

Two weeks. But that's one of the downsides of being divorced.
First time it happened dd was only supposed to be away for 5 days, but she got the dreaded chickenpox and wasn't allowed to fly home. That was awful.
But now she's a bit older the two weeks is fine, especially if I go away at the same time.

bridgetosomewhere · 02/04/2019 21:14

4 days when my grandma died and we went to sort out her house etc.

Dc stayed with dh.

Littlecaf · 02/04/2019 21:18

2 nights with DP (kids were 4 & 1) - they were with GPs and all was fine!

2 nights on my own (DP had them).

I’d happily do 5 nights for a special occasion if I could get the GPs to have them for longer!

CavaIsLife · 02/04/2019 21:21

2 nights. But I felt rotten

Wallywobbles · 02/04/2019 21:22

At that age they'd been away for 2 weeks with grandparents multiple time. First time they went was at 2.

CavaIsLife · 02/04/2019 21:23

Dc was 3. Staying with a much loved friend, but still

cocomelon23 · 02/04/2019 21:24

Ds is 9 and is always with either me or his dad (we are separated). I couldn't relax if I'd left him with his grandparents or someone else.

Fridasrage · 02/04/2019 21:24

They’ll be fine

Have they never been like to camp or anything?
I’m assuming they’ve been on sleepovers?

Sounds like they’ll be due for a little taste of independence!

SussexBonfireViking · 02/04/2019 21:25

2 months when I worked in Bermuda (came home for a weekend) they were with DH, they did ok
I've done a few holiday trips as well, went to Florida with my sister for a week last month
I have also done training courses, some of which were a full week away (Mon-fri)

I have enough faith in their dad (my DH) that they are safe and well cared for, and emotionally they are fine

Doyouavocado · 02/04/2019 21:27

I’m sorry but I actually can’t believe the comments on here. Your going away for a few nights not a year. I used to love going to stay with relatives if my mum and dad were away. Some of these posters sound suffocating! 14 years old and never been away from their parents even for a few hours, WTAF!!!!

Girlicorne · 02/04/2019 21:29

We went away for a week when DD was 6 months old. Other than that just a couple of nights once a year for our birthdays, weddings etc. I d do 5 nights, they ll be fine!

Youngandfree · 02/04/2019 21:31

2 weeks, they were 4 and 2 (dh was with them) I needed headspace so badly! So I went to oz for 2 weeks to visit a cousin...BEST thing I ever did!!

christmasgeek · 02/04/2019 21:34

1 night... when I was in hospital having DS2. Honestly, I didn’t want to leave DS1 before , now I couldn’t leave them both as grandparents on 1 side are useless and the other can’t manage with both (and neither are old grandparents). Think we missed the boat until they are much older now.

Littlecaf · 02/04/2019 21:35

There are lots of military families and those whom are divorced etc who regularly leave their children. It’s really only a big deal if you make it to be. You are allowed to go and be yourself sometimes. It’s ok to do this!

CostanzaG · 02/04/2019 21:37

Together we've done 4 nights .....DD is 4 and we try to do this at least once a year. We do one night regularly.

Individually we've done a week. I went to Vietnam with work for a week last summer.

He's always been absolutely fine!

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/04/2019 21:38

3 weeks when I was away with work. She was with her daddy though. I'll be away a month this year as well.

SilverHeartsOnStrings · 02/04/2019 21:39

2 weeks.

I missed them so much.

CostanzaG · 02/04/2019 21:41

tor that sounds incredibly suffocating for your children. How will you and they cope when they leave home or go to university?

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/04/2019 21:42

Also she goes to my mums a few nights a week if we need to work at the same time. Usually we work round each other.

LegoPeopleEverywhere · 02/04/2019 21:43

I'm quite surprised at the replies here as the usual trend for posts like this on here is that the vast majority have been away from their kids for the night from the toddler years on, and people askimg if it's ok to leave even a baby for a few nights (not leaving said baby completely alone, obviously!) are told it's fine.

Anyway, DS1 was away from me for 2 nights when DS2 was born, but saw me in the daytime. He was 3. Also whilst he was 3 he and DH went to visit my ILs for a weekend without me and DS2 (DS2 had a bad cold), so another night then. Last year he was 6 and had a few 1 night sleepovers at my mum's. DS2 now 4, I'd feel happy leaving them both for 2 nights (DS1 who's 7 I'd maybe leave for 3 or 4) with family they know and trust (but our families tend to only want to babysit one at a time as it's sooooo much easier!).

JaneEyre07 · 02/04/2019 21:43

We went to New York for 5 days........ our youngest was 17 Blush. That was the longest we'd ever left them!

I just genuinely didn't feel the need to.

mamaoffourdc · 02/04/2019 21:44

10 nights - this was a complete luxury - we quite often have a night or 2 away - happy/rested parents = happy kids x

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