To not understand why people want a nice house?

[tittletattlelolo]

My two friends are into buying plants/cushions/ornaments/flowers etc etc for their house but i don't get it.
What's the point? Only the people living in it see it.
As long as you have the basics fridge /bed etc
Why do you need all the rest?
A bloody tray with scented candles /those smelly things with the sticks etc
I've tried to get into homey things but I just can't
Am I the only woman who doesn't get it?

You don't need to get into it. It's your home. Make it somewhere you want to be. I didn't have a lot of "stuff" when I moved into my first flat but I've accumulated things I love over the years. Don't let it get you down!

I have a bit of a need to fill surfaces like the fire place, shelves, etc. I have a shelf over the top of my bed just for pictures with a lamp and a clock 😂. I also love a plant but I'm not great at keeping them, I don't know what I'm doing wrong but they make me so happy when I look at them. No idea why. My house isn't too full though, well in my opinion 😂

people have been making beautiful things forever though, it isn't recent. There are ancient ornaments people have made, and the mosaics from ancient Rome! It's just something that humans do

True but there's a big difference between people making beautiful things and people buying mass-produced stuff by the boatload. And sure, everyone can get defensive and claim that they don't buy cheap crap or that every single item in their house is a unique 200-year-old heirloom that they use every single day and couldn't live without, and that may actually be true in their individual case! But it can't be true for all people because we KNOW that the tat is being produced en-masse and bought by people. A lot of people!

(as an aside, Ancient Rome was more or less – or completely, depending which time period you look at – a capitalist society, so not such a great example there!)

Because I was dragged up in a crap hole and I don’t want to live like that especially my dc. Plus I appreciate a clean and organised home

You spend probably half of your waking hours at home, so why not take pride in it?

Hi OP, I feel you! I often feel like the only woman in the world who hates cushions, candles & other stuff. My MIL bought us cushions and candles because she thinks our house looks a bit spare without it. I hate the cushions, they get in the way & look untidy.

I also rarely listen to music (I don't hate music or anything like that, and I enjoy listening to it now and then, but most people I know want to listen to it all the time! On the way to work/the tube etc.) and have never owned an mp3 player or had music on my phone. I often wonder if the two things are connected, maybe I just don't like as much stimulation as other people.

My husband often jokes my ideal house has the decor of a prison cell

So if you were sitting down to a christmas lunch you would be happy to sit down to old newspapers on the table to protect it?

I actually would! As long as I had my family around me and some good food and drinks! My mother would never allow it though.

I often wonder if the two things are connected

Not for me. I hate owning things but I listen to a LOT of music. Music is not clutter!

I think the problem is trying to shoehorn yourself into someone else's idea of style.

I personally hate the instagrammy letters, twee little quotes about "this family laughing", and anything made from crushed velvet. I don't care particularly about style and fashion. We do have lots of things in the the house as "decoration" which I think are attractive. Like a lovely handmade glass thing we bought on holiday in Cornwall. A star made from Harris tweed hanging from a sideboard knob. Lots of second hand, handmade and charity shoo finds.

Find your own style, OP.

@tittletattle I loath the word stuff!

However I was a bit of a niknak girl until I realized I didn’t need to display everything! I used to travel a lot and had lots of things from far off lands.

It’s only when I lived with someone with really nice, more minimalist taste that I actually loved being at home more. I still love cushions and throws though! They just all match these days.

I think that Gardening brings many people real joy. I certainly love sitting in loved and career for garden.

Ditto a nice house - it's comforting to find ones environment a clean and pleasant place to be.

Oh and plants are very good for indoor air!

I never liked gardening when I was younger. I think it can come with age

I work from home so spend a lot of time at home, I have it decorated and have "stuff" in it that makes me happy, some are completely tacky, some are nice but I like them all! Won't be to everyone's tastes but I like to look at things that bring a smile to my face, be that fancy paintings or a super mario poster .

I see what you mean from the things you mention. I'm all for pretty things in a house until it starts to get impractical. I CBA with flowers on my hob or a million cussions on my bed that I need to remove each night and reorganise each morning.

I dont really like visitors much but I like my home to look how I like it. I dont follow fashions and dont want grey or glitter, just what I like. We have loads of junk and knick nacks - a lot of people hate it and find it too cluttered, but we like it so who cares!

Because it makes it feel like it’s my/our space, I have my favourite pretty things and colours around me. I like lighting a candle and walking tv and sitting with my comfy cushions. I like the way flowers look on the table when I’m sitting at it to eat a meal. I like looking at my art prints on the wall.
After a long day I work and a tedious commute I come into my home and it’s comforting and pretty, it has things I like and it’s a refuge.

True but there's a big difference between people making beautiful things and people buying mass-produced stuff by the boatload

Fair enough. But the OP also mentioned plants. Which are actually good for the environment.

I love all of my ornaments, flowers and hangy wall bits and peices.

Every room has a colour scheme and a feature.

My kitchen is sage and copper.

My loving room is mustard and grey with white marble accents.

I bloody love buying new house things, it's what I look forward to on payday.

Because it looks nice?

Or should we all live in misery or blah with no shiny things or twiggy things to cheer ourselves up?

Op, you don't need to have these things. Is your home bare? Just the very basic things you need?

Personally I like my home to look beautiful, and I spend a lot of time, finding rhe perfect thing i love, be it a beautiful throw, a piece of art, a lamp, or a vase, whatever, but I do it for us.

On saying that though, a friend was in my living room, she's been there a million times before, and she suddenly said "your home is beautiful, it's not just the house, it's everything in it" and I won't lie, I felt flattered. Because yes it is important to me, because I grew up in social housing, dirt poor, with nothing beautiful, nothing at all.

If however you wish a home that doesn't contain these things, and your happy with it, then this is also ok.

Because there is only one law. And that's we should do what works for us, without fear of criticism from others, so you don't need to get it, because you need to do you, and everyone else needs to do them.

It's important to me that my home looks nice.

Mostly for me, but also my DH & DC and visitors and my insta followers cos I'm totally shallow

The thing with decorating is buy what you love. Don't buy something because it "fits a space" or "matches your sofa" unless you live it independently. If you surround yourself with things you love your home will reflect you and make you happy

Or should we all live in misery or blah with no shiny things or twiggy things to cheer ourselves up?

I think the aim should be that we don't need shiny things or twiggy things to cheer us up!

My DP is like you, OP. He doesn’t see the point. But I like my home to reflect my tastes and I change the cushions and throws seasonally. It makes me happy. It’s important to me to have a home that’s visually appealling.