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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I annoyed at nothing?

93 replies

coolas90 · 02/04/2019 15:44

A work colleague said she forgot to bring her bank card in and she needed to get her mum a bottle of wine for her birthday. She asked if I could buy it and she would transfer the money by online banking.

I bought it and sent her my bank details as requested. She said she would do it later. This was yesterday.

I asked this morning about it and she said she'd do it at lunch time. Lunch has past and she hasn't transferred.

Do I look desperate if I ask again? It's only £7 but it's not the point! It's money I could do without losing!

OP posts:
WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 03/04/2019 09:57

just say firmly 'no, that's not what we agreed. I've done you a favour here and I'd appreciate you respecting that.'

DameSylvieKrin · 03/04/2019 09:57

She’s planning to spend less than £7 on your bottle of wine.

bumbleymummy · 03/04/2019 09:58

Shock I would not be letting this go! I would tell her that she needs to transfer the money or give you cash now.

ohfourfoxache · 03/04/2019 09:59

You need to tell her that you don’t want wine, but that you want your money.

£7 or £700, the amount is irrelevant

hellsbellsmelons · 03/04/2019 09:59

You need to be very firm here now.
She's a CF of the highest order.
Tell her you don't want a bottle of wine and you are strapped for cash and with your little one you have assigned that money to something for them.
Tell her you NEED that money now and you can't be putting up with her delaying this any more.
Be assertive.
You can do this!

MrsMozartMkII · 03/04/2019 09:59

Tell her you want your money back now.

She's a bloody rude CF.

SparklyMagpie · 03/04/2019 10:00

Oh my God I'd be bloody telling her straight!! Cheeky cow ! I'm livid for you

pumpkinpie01 · 03/04/2019 10:05

Do not let her get away with this, you wouldn't have gone to the shop and bought her/her mum a bottle of wine so why on earth should you be paying for it now. You will feel so much better for it so please be assertive, do not feel embarrassed to ask she should be the embarrassed one not you ! Cheeky madam

luckylavender · 03/04/2019 10:07

No OP, don't forget about it. Tell her a bottle of wine doesn't work for you & that you want your money back.

QueenofallIsee · 03/04/2019 10:08

I think she wins the cheeky award 🤬 I’d be livid and shaming her loudly

BlackSatinDancer · 03/04/2019 10:08

You shouldn't feel embarrassed. Your colleague should. There are times in life when you need to be assertive and often that is in the workplace Learning how to be assertive will help you not to be taken advantage of and will also probably help you on your career path too.

Needless to say not to loan money to her again.

I've just had a humorous image of your colleague saying the same thing about needing money for wine for her mum... and then giving you that bottle of wine. Then doing the same to the next person she borrows from and on and on Grin

NWQM · 03/04/2019 10:09

Don't accept the bottle wine. Wow she's cheeky!

littledoll33 · 03/04/2019 10:11

@coolas90

Yeah it IS a cheek! Some people are CFs!

Whether it was seven quid or seventy, it's YOUR money!

I know this is no help, but I never ever ever lend anyone any money, or anything at all actually. I have had too much experience of having to continually ask for stuff back, and feel like I'm a nuisance for asking (when it's MY money - or my thing I have lent them.)

I also never buy anything for anyone unless they give me the money first. If they don't have it, I just say 'sorry I only have a few coppers in my purse, and no money in my current account, except just enough for a couple of direct debits coming out tomorrow morning' or something similar... They sometimes look at me like they don't believe me, but IDGAF.

I used to lend people money, or get something for them that they asked me to get (on the understanding they'd give me the ten or fifteen quid back later.) But I had soooo many times where I never got the money back, (despite asking for it several times,) or I had to ask and ask half a dozen times.

Sometimes I would get cold glares from them, or comments like 'Jeeez! I'm not gonna run away with your FIFTEEN POUNDS!' Hmm like I was inconveniencing them/being a nuisance (for asking for my OWN stuff/money back!) so I stopped it.

GreatDuckCookery · 03/04/2019 10:13

That’s bad OP. I would tell her that I don’t want a bottle of wine but the £7 you transferred to her.

You have nothing to feel embarrassed about. The value is irrelevant.

buckeejit · 03/04/2019 10:14

Grrrr. I'd tell her to get it repaid in the next hour or you'll be telling everyone & will complain to HR that she's stolen from you.

I can stand that kind of CFery

TokyoSushi · 03/04/2019 10:17

Oh my OP, YANBU at all, I bet she doesn't have the £7 and the wine is for her not her mother. I never understand people who come out without their bank cards, mine is always in my purse, and my purse is always in my bag.

She's a CF of the highest order.

Whereareyouspot · 03/04/2019 10:22

Don’t let it go!
What message does that give- that you are a weak walkover.

Bollocks you should feel embarrassed- you aren’t begging for money ffs - she has STOLEN from you

It’s all in the delivery-
No going ‘ oh I’m so sorry to hassle you’ etc

Be firm.

Text or email if it’s easier but f2f is better

‘Excuse me I think you misunderstand- I don’t want or need wine, you asked for cash in lieu of a bank transfer and it appears are now refusing to pay me back? Why is that? If you don’t have the money why have you offered to buy me wine and why did you lie in the first place? I am expecting a transfer in the next hour and please don’t ever ask for my help again’

FriarTuck · 03/04/2019 10:22

I'm annoyed on your behalf. The cheeky sod. Stand next to her desk and remind her loudly that she owes you £7 and no, you don't want her to buy you a bottle, you want your money, you don't need a bottle of wine.

werideatdawn · 03/04/2019 10:24

Why would you just let it go?

RhiWrites · 03/04/2019 10:24

Tell your boss. It’s awkward because this is a personal matter between the two of you but it’s going to make working together exceptionally difficult. “X borrowed money from me and is refusing to give it back.”

Iwantmychairback · 03/04/2019 10:27

When is pay day? Why not suggest to her that you will ask HR to underpay her by £7 and overpay you by £7? Obviously you will need to tell her that you will have to let HR know that it’s because she owes you this money and is refusing to give it back.....
I don’t think this can be done legally btw, but the threat of telling HR that she is refusing to pay a debt may be enough. As others have said, I would casually mention to your other colleagues 5hst you lent her this money and never got it back so you are warning them not to do the same.

Chocolateisfab · 03/04/2019 10:29

Ask her in front of loads of people....

Brienneoftarthiloveyou · 03/04/2019 10:30

She should be embarrassed, not you. Ask her again in front of people & keep asking until she makes the transfer. What a cow scamming you to buy her mum a birthday present!

FactsOfLife · 03/04/2019 10:30

Wtf. Don't give up. ShockHmm

FuriousCheekyFucker · 03/04/2019 10:31

Hi, I'm FuriousCheekyFucker and even I'm appalled by the depths of this cheekyfuckery.

Get her tuned in.

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