To write a letter about DDs male teacher arguing over DD using her toilet pass

[Whatwaslostandfound]

NC as I'm going to contact school and obviously don't want other posts linked.

I'm not going to go into masses of details as I'm aware Mumsnet has a weird toilet troll but DD has a toilet pass for school. She's on medication both for very heavy period flooding and bladder issues. She's on medication for both.

She's constantly having issues with one male teacher who won't let her go until he's literally argued with her on why he should let her. If she is lucky he will let her go when the other person with a toilet pass has come back. She can't wait that long and toilets are individual like disabled loos on the corridor near reception so not like they can mess about.

Today's hissy fit is because the children were late for his lesson (a special assembly over ran!) and then dd asked for the toilet half an hour later.

I understand it's annoying but she's on medication AND has a pass. She went through a stage of not drinking anything at lunch as drinking meant that she needed the loo in lesson not long afterwards .

This is not the first time and there have been issues in the past for DD.

Help!

I suggest you raise formally with HT in person as a possible safeguarding issue (use of that word usually results in more attention being given). Spell out to him in simple but blunt and assertive language the possible consequences of your DD not being allowed to go when she needs to and the humiliation that would result. State firmly that you expect the HT to direct the teacher to allow her to go when she needs to. Honestly some men have no idea what it is like for young girls struggling with heavy periods, never mind a bladder problem aswell.

I might also photocopy her tranexamic acid (sp?!) and Oxybutynin prescriptions on the same sheet as her toilet pass with my phone number on at the top for her to carry as suggested with a note above.

No! Please do not do this. You will unintentionally be eroding your DDs confidentialty.

The teacher has NO NEED to know WHY she has a pass, just that she does. He makes NO FURTHER DECISION than to allow her to go.

He does not need more information, he needs to be shown that the rules, safeguarding and duty of care apply to him as much as every other member of staff.

Did anything come of the meeting OP?

Sorry I forgot to post.
I had a meeting last night.
The teacher in question has been spoken to and all staff have been re informed that she must not be stopped from going.

I’m usually very mild-mannered and loathe to get involved in how teachers manage their class but on this I’d be straight on to the school, absolutely furious. This is a medical issue, she has the necessary permit/pass so he has to let her go as and when. I’d be absolutely raging about this - your poor DD. She needs his support to help her with this medical issue, not this negativity and bullying.

Ah, I should have RTFT! I was soooo annoyed on your behalf, I couldn’t stop myself replying😂

Oh that sounds good. Poor little thing. I hope the pants help and things get easier.

Glad the issue has been resolved - hope it remains that way.
If she is not confident sharing some stuff with the SENCo could you write a note and she had it in - to start the conversation? This works sometimes with my DD - although younger - with her teachers.

Good for you, OP!

Thanks.
LittleOwl that's a great idea.
With her other needs we did previously have a home/school book but they are trying to (rightly ) encourage her to be independent. Until she can advocate for her own needs though it would be useful still.

Thanks everyone!