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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that I've gone into labour a week before my planned c section, and the hospital are telling me not to come in?

341 replies

Elmo311 · 02/04/2019 07:35

Just that really!
Having contractions since yesterday morning. Early stage labour still, but they are getting more painful each time.
I called L&D, explained my situation and why I'm having a c section this time (3 day labour with my son, failure to progress past 3cm, and 11months age difference between them both)
BUT they still told me to wait?! She said i don't sound in enough pain to come in?!
Thats 1) because I'm calling inbetween contractions and 2) probably because I'm not that far along yet.

I just do not understand why i have to go through this pain when a c section has been agreed?
Sorry i know I'm ranting a bit but i just don't understand their thinking and no matter what way i worded the question i still go told to wait :(

Any advice? AIBU to be frustrated?!

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
CIT80 · 02/04/2019 23:31

Ah beautiful !!! Hope she grows up like I did with everyone singing to her ‘tell Laura I love her ‘ xxxx

CaptainJaneway62 · 03/04/2019 00:01

She's a little beauty!...Congratulations OP. Flowers

RainbowFox · 03/04/2019 00:10

@CIT80 I did too!!! I've even had elderly customers sing it down the phone to me GrinGrin

It's a really sad song though... poor Tommy

DaisyDuvetDays · 03/04/2019 00:16

Beautiful baby, excellent name xxxxx

TurquoiseDress · 03/04/2019 00:28

Congratulations OP!

Am so glad you got the CS that you wanted and had been planned

Nobody should be forcing you into a vbac if that's not what you want. Sounds like the consultant/medical team were great

Enjoy the newborn baby cuddles!

Original poster
Elmo311 · 03/04/2019 00:53

Thanks again everyone!
I'm feeling a bit stressed, she latched straight away when born but since then its been a struggle. I asked the midwife for help at 8pm and she said she had handover to do so couldn't ....so i asked how long handover took and she said an hour. So i tried again by myself, which is so hard when you struggle to lift baby and are in pain! I managed to get her to latch but she kept coming off and screaming...had about 1 min of suckling.
I have since asked for help 3 times, each time the midwife has shoved her on the boob, and left 30 seconds later...of course as soon as she's gone baby is off the boob :(

I rang the bell again and i told her that it is obvious she does not have time for me, and is too busy (i think she's by herself) so i asked for syringes so i can express some colostrum and i asked for formula....
I got a judgy face but eventually she went and got the stuff!
I've since expressed 1ml of colostrum and given that to the baby, and she's also had 10mil of formula.

I think I'm just so worried she wouldn't have enough tonight and would be sick by the morning?

Lets hope i haven't ruined BF before it's even started! Never got to with my son so wanting to try.

P.s we had like, 7hrs just skin to skin! But I've put her down now as i need to sleep.

OP posts:
OwlBeThere · 03/04/2019 01:00

congrats OP. I had 10 months between my oldest two (and then 13 and 15 months to numbers 3 and 4 because i don't learn haha) and whilst it was hard it makes for very very cute pictures to aahhh over when you have bunch of hulking teens!

Piesy · 03/04/2019 01:22

Congratulations! Baby Laura 😊😊

Viobihi · 03/04/2019 01:33

Aww congrats OP, baby Laura is adorable 😍

I had the same issue with BFing my first daughter (who’s now 11) the support I got from the hospital was shocking and in the end - after 2 days of her not feeding, following her birth - I ended up just giving her a bottle.

I’m booked in to be induced with my 3rd tomorrow, going to try and breastfeed again and I really hope I don’t have a similar experience.

Hope everything goes well for you, you get the support you need and baby Laura latches on eventually Flowers

2018SoFarSoGreat · 03/04/2019 02:01

Oh look at her squidgy cheeks. Welcome to the world, little one.

You did well, OP. She's a beauty ❤️

StoppinBy · 03/04/2019 02:18

If you are having trouble please make sure you have someone there to support you and to stand up for you and tell the midwifes they need to sit with you while you feed, it is their job to help you.

If there is one available ask for a referral to see a lactation consultant before you leave the hospital. Breastfeeding can be hard work, especially with your first as you don't know whether what they are doing is normal or not, don't despair, just push harder for them to help you as they should.

Congrats on your beautiful baby, I hope you ended up with the birth you feel was right for you x

CaMePlaitPas · 03/04/2019 06:28

Aww! I've been following this thread since yesterday, my first thought this morning was "ooh, gotta check this thread"! Congratulations! Welcome to the world little baby xx

IncrediblySadToo · 03/04/2019 06:56

Congratulations Elmo 💐. Laura is gorgeous!

If you find the gap too difficult, please feel free to give me a call. I’ll look after her for the next...hmm...12 years, then it’s your turn! 🤣

Be persistent with getting the help you need with bf today. If not contact PALS.

We’ll be needing more photos!

I’d love to see your DH’s face this morning...I bet it is cycling through 😀😍😳🙃😱😬

Rhubarbisevil · 03/04/2019 07:09

Don’t worry too much about baby not feeding. She has enough nutrients in her body to last her a few days. Chill and relax until she gets the hang of it.

Well, that’s what the judgy pants midwives told me, anyway.

DartmoorDoughnut · 03/04/2019 07:55

Def insist on getting her checked for tongue tie, posterior ties can be more difficult to see I think.

You’re doing fab x

Dumdedumdedum · 03/04/2019 08:38

Please don't worry about the breast-feeding, just enjoy as much as you can (7 hours skin to skin, magic!). I am unimpressed by the midwives at your hospital, I must say (though of course, it could be NHS cuts rather than actual hospital policy which mean that they don't have time to give you full attention). Please, if they don't have time to help you today, try and see if you can find a lactation consultant who could give you advice, maybe even over the phone, if not in person? Or might a doula help (not sure on the terminology here)? Most of all, don't worry about Laura not getting enough nourishment for the moment, as pp have said, she'll be all right for another couple of days until you get comfortable with breast-feeding. On the other hand, if it doesn't work out the way you want it to, don't beat yourself up about it. Have a lovely day with Laura today!

JaneEyre07 · 03/04/2019 09:55

You'll probably find it easier today as you'll both be passing the anasthesia from your systems and hopefully you will feel more mobile. I gave my 2 formula after a section just to fill them up and didn't have any problems feeding the 2nd day.

Can you get your DH to bring you in a lap cushion to rest baby on so you don't have to keep lifting her up and down? DD has got one, it's like a half doughnut and baby lies very happily to feed.

HavelockVetinari · 03/04/2019 12:42

I gave DS a mini bottle of formula on day 2 after my csection as well as bf. He fussed latching for the first week or two then got it. He's still going strong at 20 months! Don't worry, babies need to learn to bf, it's not an innate skill.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 03/04/2019 13:02

Don’t worry about BF. You will get there. It’s so hard to start midwives should really be helping you a bit more, especially as you’ve had surgery. Is there a bf supporter available, sometimes they are volunteers.

I stopped BF after a few weeks as I had no support, but when I did get support I started again and it was easy. The right support is what you really need right now.

Lifeonmars77 · 03/04/2019 13:32

She is so beautiful! Congratulations Flowers

I had a similar situation - Went into labour a week before my planned C Section. I went from zero to 8cm in 2 hours and they were really pressuring me to carry on naturally seeing as I was 'progressing so well'. Even through the pain I had to keep reminding every midwife/doctor/consultant that came into the room to READ MY BLOODY NOTES and see why I was booked in for a C section in the first place - serious post partum haemorrhage with my first.

Plus with this pregnancy I had pre-eclampsia, strep B and obstetric cholestasis along with being a type 1 diabetic. This also meant my baby was measuring very large.

Eventually (fully dilated and bloody terrified by this time) I was given the epidural, wheeled into theatre and my DS was born at 36+6 weeks....weighing 10lb!!

Try not to worry about breastfeeding, just keep persevering and do what feels right. If that means giving her some formula here and there go with it - the wellbeing of you and gorgeous Laura is the most important thing xx

huggybear · 03/04/2019 13:40

Congratulations x

contrary13 · 03/04/2019 14:21

Oh, my goodness, but she's adorable!

Congratulations to all of you, Elmo.

Those cheeks...!!!

Melroses · 03/04/2019 16:07

You are doing well.

I didn't realise that when babies come earlier that it

a. took longer for my milk to come in - think it was 4 days

b. the sucking reflex is the last reflex to come, so they can be a bit rubbish at feeding to start with, then suddenly get the hang of it and take off (mine were in SCBU for 2 weeks for this and had formula to start with and I had to do a lot of pumping).

Be patient, it will come Smile

Nameisthegame · 03/04/2019 16:34

Keep trying with bfing, syringing the colostrum is great at the start my dd was combo fed until 4 months with me using less and less formula....my problem was my boobs were actually too big for her 🧐 she was 5”3lb. Just make sure to give her all the chances for bf. Keep expressing and definitely get a bf pillow or cushion to save your back.

Once you both get bfing down she will never get off! Lol also look at lactation groups in your area. And enjoy your lil one she’s beautiful congratulations!!,

Original poster
Elmo311 · 04/04/2019 08:14

I wish I could reply to everyone individually, but life with a newborn in hospital doesn't make mumsnet that easy to go on! :)

Thank you to all who also think she's pretty cute and like her name! :)
We think it suits her and hopefully she will like it too.

We are hopefully being discharged today! They also were concerned about her being jaundiced as she does look a tad yellow, but her bloods are normal and she's having formula every 2 hrs.

I was syringe feeding her expressed colostrum, but i seem to have ZERO left now?! I had loads and now it's gone? Is that normal? No one here seems to care!

We haven't had much 'boob time' but I'm hoping to try again soon even though there's nothing there!

Some of the midwives here are amazing, some are rubbish. Thankfully yesterday i had a lot of support and I'm feeling much better in the decisions made so far.
Not looking forward to the baby blues day, which is probably tomorrow so don't be surprised if I'm on here crying!!

My OH and 10.5month old are very happy to see baby girl, and our son even gave her a smile and a wave! (It was seriously cute!)

This thread is crazy long! But i hope it helps someone else in the future as you all gave good advice and it was great to read others experiences.

Here's to not getting pregnant again! Wine (not yet anyway)

*obviously i am not drinking wine**

OP posts: