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AIBU?

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Original poster

To kick my neighbours door of :D

80 replies

annoyingneighbour · 01/04/2019 20:21

My neighbour has a little boy, we live in a SHITE new build and he is SCREAMING AGAIN! My poor DD has been in bed for 45 minutes and she cant get to sleep because he is screaming so loud it comes through 2 walls with the door shut 🙄 he used to scream every single night and I heard from another neighbour it was because he was used to being in his mums bed and she was trying to get him out and into his own, THANK GOD it stopped for about a month but its started again the last 3 nights, he also runs up and down and it sounds like a group of elephant are coming through the wall !!!

What makes it 10X worse is she has had words with the neighbour on the other side (terrace) DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY to "turn her music down"

SO AIBU to knock on kick the door of and ask her if she could try and get her son to stop screaming so my poor DD can go to sleep!!!😁

OP posts:
Original poster
annoyingneighbour · 01/04/2019 20:53

@sirmione16 I don't really talk to her to ask, I say hi to her and don't really get a reply shes a bit snotty in all honesty and speaks to DH but just stares blankly at me! Her parents are round quite a lot and the little boy is at his dads most weekends (he always says hi when he collects him), he also goes to nursery every day so if she honestly cant cope with him 6pm-8am then I don't think its her neighbour she needs to be talking to about her problems..

OP posts:
Original poster
annoyingneighbour · 01/04/2019 20:55

@ImNotTheDramaLlamaHere far from it hun, my DD had a chocolate muffin for lunch today 😁

OP posts:
Original poster
annoyingneighbour · 01/04/2019 20:57

And do you know what @JuniperNarni if she knocked on my door and said I am really sorry about the screaming its because of XYZ or just plainly I am trying to get him to sleep in his own bed I would say oh god don't worry about it! Let me know if you even need a cuppa and a chat, but she doesn't even acknowledge any of us 'neighbours' unless we are doing something she isn't happy about...

OP posts:
mclaleli · 01/04/2019 20:59

Im not an idiot, I have a toddler that screams to but I stop it within 5 minutes to not bother the neighbours.

The start of your sentence doesn't match the end Hmm

Ewitsahooman · 01/04/2019 21:05

he talks and plays outside with the other children so there is nothing wrong with him from what I can gather!

Funny thing about neurodevelopment conditions, anxiety, behavioural issues, sleep disorders, etc is that they're invisible so what you can "gather" is the sum total of fuck all. You don't know what the situation is on the other side of that wall aside from what you've been told - he has issues around bedtime.

I'm sure if your neighbour could stop the screaming then she would.

caughtinanet · 01/04/2019 21:12

And do you know what @JuniperNarni if she knocked on my door and said I am really sorry about the screaming its because of XYZ or just plainly I am trying to get him to sleep in his own bed I would say oh god don't worry about it!

That makes no sense at all, it's either annoying or it isn't, would it suddenly become bearable because she acknowldged it?

wigglypiggly · 01/04/2019 21:15

Is she a single mum he visits his dad at the weekends? poor wee soul perhaps hes an unhappy little boy, you dont know what life he has had. I dont suppose she wants him screaming but maybe she doesnt know what else to do.

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 01/04/2019 21:17

when my DD was 1 she screamed all the time and her room is next to my other neighbours bedroom, But every time I saw the neighbour I would apologise and explain that DD was teething and it couldn't be helped

I’m sure an apology made them feel better about hearing her scream. What makes you think that his parent can stop him screaming?

he is a pleasant little boy he talks and plays outside with the other children so there is nothing wrong with him from what I can gather!

Mine looked a happy little DC too....to outsiders. He screamed a lot as well. Wasn’t diagnosed with ASD & ADHD until 9 years old (3 year wait for assessment).

if she knocked on my door and said I am really sorry about the screaming its because of XYZ or just plainly I am trying to get him to sleep in his own bed I would say oh god don't worry about it! Let me know if you even need a cuppa and a chat,

Why should she apologise? She can’t help it!

Original poster
annoyingneighbour · 01/04/2019 21:18

@Ewitsahooman Please don't start with all that crap, my Niece, nephew and sister all have those problems and don't act like the rest of the kids in the family during the day, my niece ran into the road 4 times today then chucked her lunch box into the road in front of a car just to get my attention so PLEASE don't tell me about SN children!! he cry's to get what he wants like most DC, that isn't HIS fault or hers BUT it is annoying that it keeps MY child awake to, thank you next...

OP posts:
Rainbodash · 01/04/2019 21:23

YABVU
No one is more bothered by her son's screaming than she is. Have some empathy.

HaventGotAllDay · 01/04/2019 21:27

So you know about all children with all types of non NT issues from your sample of a couple of nieces and nephews?
Maybe you should write a book. Or audition for a new parenting show? You could be the Gordon Ramsay of parenting gurus? I can see you now...weeping parents, end of their tether and you kicking their doors and telling them to effing do one and shut the best up because your princess is abed and no their child can't possibly be non NT because they're not like your niece.

GF.

sparklefarts · 01/04/2019 21:27

Well, aren't you a unintellectual delight

Nomorepies · 01/04/2019 21:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Ewitsahooman · 01/04/2019 21:30

PLEASE don't tell me about SN children

I live with two children who have SN and I stand by my original comment that you know fuck all about what's happening on the other side of that wall.

Even if SN aren't involved here there are obviously other issues at play. He's not screaming for fun.

Aridane · 01/04/2019 21:35

Frustrating as it is for you I suspect it is 10 times worse for her

I dunno - your own child's shit, vomit and screaming is (hopefully) softened by your love for DC - there is not that buffer of love for the neighbour

wigglypiggly · 01/04/2019 21:36

If it bothers you that much why dont you just knock on her door when he screams and ask her if everything is ok.

Ewitsahooman · 01/04/2019 21:37

If it bothers you that much why dont you just knock on her door when he screams and ask her if everything is ok

That would be the sensible option.

CheshireChat · 01/04/2019 21:53

It sounds like you really don't like her and it's ended a case of bitch eating crackers.

Mummyshark2018 · 01/04/2019 22:00

Have you tried a white noise machine to block out noise?

BettyBigBollocks · 01/04/2019 22:04

I’ve changed my mind, you don’t have my sympathy. You clearly don’t like this woman, it sounds as if you spend your days spying on her every move actually. I wonder if she’s written a thread about her creepy NDN that never speaks to her but seems to know her every move.

Eliza9917 · 01/04/2019 22:19

I wouldn't put up with this. Call the police to do a welfare check. They can involve SS if the woman can't cope.

Ewitsahooman · 01/04/2019 22:25

Call the police to do a welfare check

Yeah, go for complete and utter overkill. In fact forget the police, call an ambulance and report that someone appears to be hurt. Or the RSPCA. Or, I don't know, the A-team. Just call people. All of the people. Everyone. It's not at all an over-reaction.

Hmm
Stormy76 · 01/04/2019 22:28

Ok so she doesn’t have a grip on getting her son to sleep, she may or may not be bothered by it ....she may be sleeping with ear plugs in! Either way I do feel your pain because I have had to have a word with my previous neighbors in the past. I have kids and generally am not bothered by a screamer .... my eldest was one but I worked extremely hard sleep training him, I spoke to my neighbours and explained what I would be doing and they understood. It was hard work but worth it. I spoke to my neighbours because I was working 12 hour days starting very early in the morning, and it was weeks and weeks of screaming. I was exhausted, my youngest couldn’t sleep and was falling asleep at school. I went round in the early hours because I snapped and couldn’t listen to it anymore and asked if they could please do something about it. They started trying to tell me that they were sleep training but having done it myself twice ....you do not leave a child to scream non stop......that’s not sleep training and I did point that out. I also went and spoke to them a few days later to apologise for knocking on the door in the early hours because I didn’t want them to think that I was a complete bitch. The second neighbour was completely oblivious to the racket her kids were making ......very adorable little girls that she would let into the garden every morning rain or shine to play .....expect the play was ear piercing screaming that would go on and on. During a school week ....it was for about an hour in the mornings but on the holidays OMG. Trying to get to sleep after a night shift with ear plugs in and I could still hear the screaming...was a nightmare. So I had to go round and speak to them because kids playing does not bother me, it’s like ordinary background noise and earplugs soften it a lot but the screaming was just not on. After that when her kids started screaming she would call them in and put a stop to it, never a problem after that, she could have tried doing that when it first started instead of allowing them to think that was a normal way to play!

Yes it is hard on the parent and kids are hard work but when you live in close quarters you have to be considerate of your neighbours and that unfortunately does include not allowing your child to create a racket that keeps other people from sleeping.

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 01/04/2019 22:44

my niece ran into the road 4 times today then chucked her lunch box into the road in front of a car just to get my attention so PLEASE don't tell me about SN children!!

My DS has autism and dyspraxia and has never done any of those things. Since you seem to be an expert in SN, perhaps you could tell me if he's actually NT because he's not like your niece?

Ewitsahooman · 01/04/2019 22:55

that unfortunately does include not allowing your child to create a racket that keeps other people from sleeping.

And if there are other issues going on? What then?

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