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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think head is totally inappropriate...

56 replies

strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:27

I’m really angry and I want to complain or do something but not sure what...

Parent 1 & Parent 2 have no school contact but are neighbours. They had a very heated, nasty row regarding their children who play together outside of school but not within school.

Parent 1 went to the head and told about said argument as was concerned their may be further altercations in the playground if they saw each other.

In brief:

Parent 1 said to head “It’s a shame as the child is lovely”

Head said “Give it time, you’ve seen the parents”

Parent 1 relayed this conversation to me.

I am absolutely LIVID.

How dare the head a) judge b) make comments like that to a parent and a child!

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:28

about a child*

OP posts:
frasersmummy · 01/04/2019 17:30

Are you parent 2??

Haffdonga · 01/04/2019 17:30

Yes.

Nothing to do with you what somebody told you somebody else said about somebody else's child.

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:30

No, I’m a friend of Parent 1 and Parent 2.

OP posts:
Nuffaluff · 01/04/2019 17:31

Yes, you are overreacting, because you only have parent A’s word for it that the head said that.

IvanaPee · 01/04/2019 17:31

Not your business.

Nicknacky · 01/04/2019 17:32

Why did parent 1 even involve the school? They sound like a stirrer so I would take what they say with a pinch of salt.

heath48 · 01/04/2019 17:32

Yes you are overreacting,it is here-say,not fact.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 01/04/2019 17:32

Could they not have meant it the other way? As in, give it time for child to come back to lovely, you've seen the parents, they're normal?

Otherwise, all very JK. I wouldn't trust parent 1 to be telling the truth as this story is a nice way of them reinforcing that others don't think much of a parent they are arguing with.

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:32

It isn’t just somebody else, it’s the leader of a school. Already judging that a lovely little girl who is 6 (the other child is 8) will not always be nice because of her parents!

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 01/04/2019 17:33

I won't believe parent 1's version of what the head said. That would be enough to get the head fired and head's aren't usually that stupid. Sounds like parent 1 is trying to get you on side by saying head agreed with them.

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:34

It was meant in a very very derogatory way towards Parent 2 an her husband.

OP posts:
frasersmummy · 01/04/2019 17:34

Stay well out and make no judgement on either parent, either kid or the school.

You don't know what was actually said to whom.

And sometimes how shall I say this the truth can get exaggerated.. You say anything it's likely it will back fire on you

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:35

It’s not the first time the head has been, in my opinion inappropriate.

OP posts:
AuntieCJ · 01/04/2019 17:35

I don't believe that the head said that. Parent 1 is telling porkies.

Missmarplesknitting · 01/04/2019 17:38

Before you say something, be aware this parent may well have made this statement up.

Unless you heard it, steer clear and stay neutral.

corythatwas · 01/04/2019 17:39

I am not one of the posters who believe teachers or headteachers are always either right or truthful.

But the one person we know anything about on this thread is Parent 1, who from the available evidence is a stirrer. I wouldn't believe Parent 1.

frasersmummy · 01/04/2019 17:39

Strictlymum it's clear you don't want to hear yabu

So fine go ahead.. Go see the head and say I heard from parent 1 what you said about parent 2...how dare you..

I would love to be a fly on that wall

GreenTulips · 01/04/2019 17:41

Well depends on context surely?

We don’t know what happened or how upset the parent was at the meeting or how the parent phrased parts of the discussion.

I’d ignore and move on

Sirzy · 01/04/2019 17:41

Always be very careful what gossip you believe. Sounds like parent one is aiming for a conqueror and divide approach!

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:44

Why do I not want to hear I am being unreasonable? I’m answering questions, I’ve been asked?!

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 01/04/2019 17:47

I’d keep out of it if I were you. I can see this turning into all sorts of dramas.

Tunnockswafer · 01/04/2019 17:47

Parent 1 and Parent 2 need to grow the fuck up.

Pumpkintopf · 01/04/2019 17:50

It was meant in a very very derogatory way towards Parent 2 an her husband.

How do you know? How do you even know it was even said, as you were not there and are not involved in this situation which really has nothing to do with you. I'd be really wary of jumping into any allegations based on hearsay.

BlueMerchant · 01/04/2019 17:52

The head will simply dismiss what parent 1 said as complete lies.
Keep out of it or you will be put in the middle of a right fiasco and in my experience, you are likely to come out of it looking like a lying trouble-maker.