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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think head is totally inappropriate...

56 replies

strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:27

I’m really angry and I want to complain or do something but not sure what...

Parent 1 & Parent 2 have no school contact but are neighbours. They had a very heated, nasty row regarding their children who play together outside of school but not within school.

Parent 1 went to the head and told about said argument as was concerned their may be further altercations in the playground if they saw each other.

In brief:

Parent 1 said to head “It’s a shame as the child is lovely”

Head said “Give it time, you’ve seen the parents”

Parent 1 relayed this conversation to me.

I am absolutely LIVID.

How dare the head a) judge b) make comments like that to a parent and a child!

Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Haffdonga · 01/04/2019 17:53

It was meant in a very very derogatory way towards Parent 2 an her husband

YOU WEREN'T THERE. This was reported second hand to you by Parent 1 who in your own words has had a very heated nasty row with Parent 2. You cannot possibly know in what the HT meant or how they said it.

Even if P1's account is 100% factually accurate it is still NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 17:53

Thanks for commenting, will keep my nose out and mouth shut. And avoid Parent 1 & Parent 2 and their dramas. Smile

OP posts:
AdelaideK · 01/04/2019 17:54

Tell parent 1 and parent 2 to grow up and give it no more thought.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 01/04/2019 17:54

What a load of shit

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 01/04/2019 17:57

You were not there. You have no clue the way the words were spoken or even if they were spoken at all.

It sounds very much like that parent is trying to get you on their side and it sounds as if they have succeeded as you are on MN saying how LIVID you are over something that doesn’t even involve you.

Peterpiperpickedwrong · 01/04/2019 17:58

Posted before refreshing & seeing your update op.

Springwalk · 01/04/2019 18:02

I don’t believe the head said that for one minute. No way. I would take a big step back and leave them to it.
You definitely don’t need to get involved op.

SeventhWave · 01/04/2019 18:03

Yes, I think you are being slightly unreasonable to assume that parent 1 is telling the truth. They might have told you that in the expectation that you would tell parent 2.

As you say, better to keep completely out of it.

paperandfireworks · 01/04/2019 18:08

Yabu. None of your business.

Stargazer888 · 01/04/2019 18:09

You should be more concerned that you're friends with two drama queens then second hand talk from the head.

I judge you more for taking parents 1 word as gospel and even thinking of complaining about it. It makes me think you are as much of a drama queen as the two parents.

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 18:12

Stargazer888 We must know each in RL! Smile I just don’t think children should be judged by their parents choices.

OP posts:
Stargazer888 · 01/04/2019 18:17

But you don't know if they were being judged. You literally have no idea what was actually said, let alone what the head was implying. The fact you're instantly so mad seems really dramatic to me. You're putting yourself in the middle of it. My advice is to make some tea and leave the two drama queens to it. Wink

flumpybear · 01/04/2019 18:23

I'm not sure I even understand what was meant by 'head' albeit I doubt rust was said, she's probably feeding you a line she wants to get back to the other parent

I'd be more tempted to tip off the Head that parent 1 is trying to stir a hornets nest and Head may be caught in the crossfire

Or just keep out if it Wink

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 18:31

I’ve had a tea and reflected. It’s absolutely none of my business. I think was so angry because Parent 1 quite frankly is a horrible person and I was livid that the head was negative about parent 2 to her. When parent 2 is a lovely person. I would never ever tell Parent 2. It just angered me, that the head could be giving ammunition to this person. Also, if she’s told me, she would of told everyone else too and parent 2 really doesn’t need that type of gossip going around. It’s cruel regardless of whether it was or wasn’t said.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 01/04/2019 18:31

Much Ado about Nothing?

Original poster
strictlymum1 · 01/04/2019 18:32

The head teacher of the school.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 01/04/2019 18:33

Sorry crossed post. OP I think the only thing is for Parent 2 to go to the Head and ask her what she actually did say.. Head was probably trying to calm things down and has been taken out of context.

Tunnockswafer · 01/04/2019 18:34

Parent 1 is horrible so chances are they haven’t been entirely honest about what the HT said?

BuzzLightyear1 · 01/04/2019 18:34

Am I the only one who read the title and wanted to see why blow jobs were inappropriate? 😁

ALLMYSmellySocks · 01/04/2019 18:36

I wouldn't necessarily trust parent 1 to relay what the head said, she obviously hates parent 2 and wants to make out the head is on her side.

Stargazer888 · 01/04/2019 18:36

If parent 1 is horrible why are you friends with her?

Ravenclawclassof84 · 01/04/2019 18:44

@buzzlightyear I was also expecting a very different thread! Blush
It sounds more likely that parent 1 is shit stirring and wants to get people on her side. I wouldn't get too angry at the headteacher if i were you. Best to keep out of it.

Bluntness100 · 01/04/2019 18:46

You're parent two aren't you? You're way to over invested not to be.

GreenTulips · 01/04/2019 18:46

Am I the only one who read the title and wanted to see why blow jobs were inappropriate? 😁

Nope - move up and make room

LynetteScavo · 01/04/2019 18:51

Parent 1 made this up, so Parent 2 gets to hear about it and falls out with the head. Meanwhile the head has Parent 1s version of the argument. Hmm