To choose a cleaner over a pension

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

So by way of background I’ve recently gone back to work full time, I’m out of the house from 8am-6.15pm every day- my LO 20months goes to nursery 2.5 days a week. I would say we aren’t doing badly financially but the cost of nursery, an increase in council tax and now the bastard increase in pension contributions is taking a huge chunk out of our income.
This weekend it’s really struck me how hard it is working full time with a toddler, there’s no time to do anything, every room in my house is a shit heap (despite cleaning constantly), my ironing has now engulfed our third bedroom and I feel so guilty not spending enough time with my LO at weekends.
So I’m thinking of opting out of my pension with work (you can only opt out, you can’t reduce the % contribution)- just until my LO is 3 and some free hours kick in. I’d use the money towards a cleaner/ ironing lady. I’d obviously lose out on the contributions from my company over that time but I think it would be a life saver- am I looking at this wrongly?

I don’t personally think £20-£70 a month is a lot to spend on clothes- I’ve averaged It out- for example I didn’t buy any in March but in February I bought two work dresses

Amore22 had a steamer years ago- hated it- maybe they are better designed now but I remeber water everywhere and scoulding myself

If you have a very small house, even less requirement to be spending all your time cleaning/tidying!

And yes, that amount of money every month really isn't necessary. You didn't need those dresses, you wanted them. There's a big difference!

So the consensus is don’t stop paying! (The comment regarding not getting such a good return on my money as I get with my company matching was particularly helpful- thank you)

*If you have a very small house, even less requirement to be spending all your time cleaning/tidying!

And yes, that amount of money every month really isn't necessary. You didn't need those dresses, you wanted them. There's a big difference!*

Actually having a small house I think is harder as it means I can’t ignore any of the mess/ cleaning that needs doing. whilst I have a three bed house, downstairs is only two rooms- the kitchen and lounge (which we also eat in). Once lunch or dinner is over I have to clear up, my LOs toys are all around until I put them away etc. Also one bathroom gets filthy very quickly

And yes I needed the work dresses- I was interviewing for new positions at the time and don’t have many smart enough clothes.

Ok - I get you re the small house. But that also means you should have less stuff.

And I notice you still talk about 'I' - where's your partner in all of this? Or are you the only one rushing around tidying stuff up?

The bathroom 'getting filthy really quickly' - really?! What are you doing in there?!

I think you need to a) calm down b) get your partner to do more c) just relax generally. (Sorry)

You didn't need the dresses - if you have absolutely no interview appropriate attire one dress would have been sufficient. Why two?
You're effectively choosing clothes and nails/eyebrows over your pension.

I'm a single mum of 2, work full time, (teaching, so not rich!) and I have a cleaner every other week. It's so worth it! It's £10 an hour, so £30 each time. Don't opt out of your pension, see if you can make some cuts and get a cleaner that way. I LOVE my cleaner!

To be fair, the OP does need suitable work clothes and it’s not unusual to have to update one’s wardrobe a bit after mat leave. I’m in a similar position myself.

BIWI actually asking this genuinely - how often would you expect a bathroom used by two adults and a toddler to need cleaning?

DH and I both work full time and have two boys aged 8 and 6. Family bathroom needs cleaning once a week, perhaps a quick wipe around (taking no more than 5 minutes) mid-week. Quick hoover and dust once a week, wipe kitchen down every evening. Laundry is done almost every day, beds changed once a week, towels twice a week. Nothing is ironed.

So the consensus is don’t stop paying! (The comment regarding not getting such a good return on my money as I get with my company matching was particularly helpful- thank you)

Say you pay £100 a month into your pension. If your employer matches, that's £200. And you get your tax back on your £100, so a 20% tax payer would only actually pay £80.

So you're paying £80 in and on day 1 it's become £200. That's 150% in a day, without including any growth on the fund, when most people are lucky to get 1.5% a year on savings!

And you need this pointing out to you!!!!

I hope you don't work in financial services.

Love that it's harder to keep a tiny house clean .

Come on op. Dishwasher, on, washing machine, on, 5 mins each, whack toys in boxes, 10 mins, wipe dinner table, 5 mins, bog brush, bleach, anti-bac wipe, 5 mins, bath and basin 2 mins after using.

We all have to do that as we go. Tiny house - hoover 20 mins, anti-bac wet wipe over grubby paintwork, mop kitchen floor and other hard floors 20 mins, change bedding 20 mins every fortnight.

Sounds like bliss.

Unless you or your DH are working down the mines and your one toddler is coming home caked in mud, there’s no reason your bathroom shouldn’t last one weekend to the next with a Wednesday night wipe round.

anti-bac wipe, 5 min

Don’t use these OP, they’re terrible things,

Pointless derailing, sorry

Honestly, do not opt out of your pension. You'll regret it. As others point out you'll be losing the tax relief as well as your employers contribution.

You do not want to be relying on the state pension when you're older.

If your husband is self employed I guess he hasn’t got a great pension either so on that basis I wouldn’t stop.

People don’t have a clue what you need to retire on a decent income. It’s a hell of a lot of money!

To receive a full UK state pension you need 35 years contributions to receive £164 a week & approx 8.5k a year. That is the reason everyone is advising you to pay into a private pension, where your employer adds in FREE money. As your family grows there will always be something to spend money on, but you should always pay your pension.

Oh come on, if she needed two dresses then she needed two dresses. We don't know what clothes she has.

OP, put a film on TV and iron while it's on. It won't take the whole time. I found it much easier if I did that on a Friday night as I felt a bit more in control over the weekend.

Do online shopping and cut down that way if you want to save money. As others have said, never, ever cut down on your pension.

Clean the sink and toilet while your daughter's in the bath.

One massive time issue comes from no dishwasher- hate the current kitchen and would love to redo next year and put one in.

As for people cleaning a bath used by 3or 4 people once a week, do you not get dust and rim marks?!

Love that it's harder to keep a tiny house clean
Ok it’s not harder to keep it clean, it’s harder to ignore what needs doing

Nope - the dust is washed away when you fill the bath the next day. Otherwise you can wipe around the bath each evening - will take maximum 1 minute.

I do think it's harder to keep a small house tidy as you wont have as much storage for toys etc. So that bit is understandable.
Dh can do bathroom on his minding days while you do a minute every morning and leave no mess ever.
Does dh have a list of jobs that need doing as you would give a cleaner..so nothing gets missed. Just put it up as a list for both of ye but at least he can check it at nap time to see what needs doing.
But do not get a new kitchen as that will be another reason not to pay into your pension. Remember most of us saying this are older and have learnt the hard way.

Let water drain from bath and give it a wipe around as you get out. Shove bleach down loo before bed, wipe it round in the morning while brushing teeth (don't confuse brushes).

Could you afford a cleaner fortnightly? That's what I did with 3 pre schoolers (gave up wine for a cleaner). Now my dc are older childcare is cheaper and I have a cleaner. I won't lie, it's amazing, but I wouldn't choose her over my pension.

I'm so glad it seems you've decided to keep paying into your pension. It's so important and the employers contribution is valuable. Lost if you didn't pay in. Free money!

If your ironing has piled up could you pay for a one-off catch up and then keep on top of it afterwards?