To choose a cleaner over a pension

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

So by way of background I’ve recently gone back to work full time, I’m out of the house from 8am-6.15pm every day- my LO 20months goes to nursery 2.5 days a week. I would say we aren’t doing badly financially but the cost of nursery, an increase in council tax and now the bastard increase in pension contributions is taking a huge chunk out of our income.
This weekend it’s really struck me how hard it is working full time with a toddler, there’s no time to do anything, every room in my house is a shit heap (despite cleaning constantly), my ironing has now engulfed our third bedroom and I feel so guilty not spending enough time with my LO at weekends.
So I’m thinking of opting out of my pension with work (you can only opt out, you can’t reduce the % contribution)- just until my LO is 3 and some free hours kick in. I’d use the money towards a cleaner/ ironing lady. I’d obviously lose out on the contributions from my company over that time but I think it would be a life saver- am I looking at this wrongly?

Personally I'd pay into my pension by hook or by crook. It's basically free money and you don't get that often in life. The thing is if you stop paying in its difficult to ever start again. You get used to that money. Sod having to live off the state pension at 68 or whenever you will get it.

Do you have a partner? No way in hell would I reduce my pension so a partner could benefit from ironed shirts and a tidy kitchen.

Could you find £30 a fortnight between the two of you to pay a cleaner/ironed?

How about your partner stopping his pension to free up money for a cleaner? If he doesn't want to why should you.

As a pensioner , now " living " on State Pension I would strongly advise against dropping your pension contribution. There may not even be a State Pension by the time you retire.Try to look at your budget again and save money elsewhere to get a cleaner for the essential areas and/or get husband to help a bit more.
I used to do ironing on a Friday evening with a glass or two of wine and a good movie. We used to do 8-10 Saturday morning tidying/cleaning blitz - together ( children allowing )

Keep your pension

Get the OH to do half the ironing and the cleaning

Don't do it for a cleaner. You'll regret it when you are early 60s and keen to retire!

I think it's the last thing you should consider as a potential economy.

Is your DP/H considering doing this?

Doubt it.

Ok so to answer the questions about my other half- yes I have a husband and he does his share- he’s self employed and is with the LO on the days she’s not at nursery (working those evenings once I’m home)- he will clean, cook, do a wash etc. But he will not iron (he also wouldn’t overly think to dust mirrors or change the beds now I think of it). Yes everyone says not to iron but ironing an outfit every morning I hate, I hate putting non ironed clothes away, it’s takes up more room etc. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly OCD my tiny house just descends into shit very quickly, and because it’s so small it’s not like we can ignore the mess and carry on.

Further background on my financials:
I’m early thirties and have worked since leaving school, took 8 months mat leave- I would literally just take the year or so until my LO turns 3- as it is we pay £700 a month towards nursery. Nothing else to really cut, could lower my shopping slightly but again that would take a lot more time and planning. I cut my sky subscription, gym membership went and my 1 holiday a year is non negotiable.

Jesus don’t do this!

Why can’t you and DH share the housework and just lower your standards? I don’t iron a thing

I recently retired and am so glad that I have my Work Pension as I won’t receive my SP until I am 66. When the children were young I could have made good use of the money I was contributing but I am so glad I didn’t as my retirement is going to be reasonably comfortable.
Agree with others - lower your standards !

I'm sure you can find £10 a week from somewhere other than your pension - food, weekend entertainment, Spotify, electric bill etc. please don't raid your future!

I don't understand why you need to iron? I wear smart clothes to work but never iron. Loose blouses that you hang to dry, they never crease and I never iron them. Suits don't need to be ironed either.

Maybe just agree a split of household chores with your dh and then spend 15 mins a day on them. A pension is worth a lot more than a cleaner imo.

What can your husband cut from his budget?

And you would be foolish to reduce your pension - esp if your employer matches it - you will never ever get that sort of return on investment.

I also don't own a single thing that needs to be ironed and I have a lovely wardrobe of professional and causal clothes!

Don't cut your pension. If ironing is the problem can't you see how much it would cost to get someone in to do it? I never iron. I can't see how opting out of your pension is a better option than lowering your standards, short term.

Do not stop your pension! You say it will only be a year but you cannot tell what will happen! I got very Ill and effectively have not had 10 years of pension payments through my 30’s - although i’m now paying again I am truly worried about my retirement.

How much are you both spending on clothes, eating out and coffees etc? I know i spend a small fortune on those things.
As for the food budget where do you shop? Aldi, lidl and the market are cheaper.
I agree with others, fyi the current basic state pension is about £153 per week. I wouldnt want to live on that.

Think of your pension contributions from your employer as part of your salary, and not only that, their (and your) contributions go into your pension scheme tax free.

Why not calculate how much you're potentially losing (a lot) over a 2 year time frame, then you'll see clearly how much you're throwing away.

A lot!

We have a cleaner for 2hrs a fortnight and it is £20 could you not find £5 each extra a week? The other thing you could do is save up get a big one off clean every few months.

I shop from asda or Sainsbury’s to get it delivered- I could lower the cost and shop at Aldi or Lidl but that means again cutting into my wkend.
Eat out- rarely!
Clothes- prob anything between 20-70quid a month on myself
Treat myself to my nails being painted/ an eyebrow tint if I have somewhere to go etc -realistically 1 every 6 wks

Not being snotty, but why is your house a tip? I honestly understand working whilst trying to run a house and kids, i did it myself.
Just do it NOW. After dinner, spend 5 minutes cleaning up. Yes, you are knackered, but 5 minutes is nothing. Run a hoover around (and I mean either of you), it takes minutes if you do it regularly. Accept having a messy house, keep ironing if that 'is you'. I am the same, i still iron, despite not working out of the home🙄
Keep paying your pension. Do not stop. You think you will start paying it again in a couple of years, but there will always be something better to spend your money on, and you won't.
Finally, you could just accept living in shite for a while - different strokes and all that.

£20-£70 every month seems a lot for clothes for yourself. I’d give up the new clothes and get the cleaner

Pay in to your pension. Simplify your life with getting rid of useless possessions and clutter. Clear as you go. Get in a routine. Fuck ironing off entirely.

Being old and poor isn't fun.

The money I spend on my cleaner is the best money I spend. However, there's no chance I'd not pay my pension contributions.

My dh does all the ironing though.