Home swapping is ridiculous

[Aaliyah1990]

I’m more than frustrated with the fact that you could bid for years and not get anywhere. Then you think to yourself oh maybe house swap might help? Nope not at all!!! the housing system is a big joke if you ain’t got a garden you can forget it,the demands people are asking for just makes you feel worse and all your hopes are thrown out the window. It’s almost like doing the lottery and hoping you get lucky. I don’t know if somehow these so called serious swappers are getting a power buzz out of it cause that’s what it’s seem to me. In all reality we should all stop compiling to these ridiculous set ups, you waste so many of years being unhappy then you feel as you have to beg in a way to get a property you want. I think it’s all wrong and the council should be responsible if your over crowded etc and the bidding set up is more of a joke you’ll be on there for centuries 🙄. Until the day everyone stops compiling then that’s the day you’ll be able to get what you want but everyone seems to conform to things that are unrealistic,draining and upsetting. From today I’m not doing any of the guideline rules forget it!!! It doesn’t work out and it just makes their jobs easier while we suffer nope not anymore. So on that note I’ll get back to you guys. I’ll update to see that my situation will have improved. And I’ll let you what I did to get out of the flat/cage I’m in.

Where does op suggest that she kept popping kids out she couldn’t afford?

People’s circumstances change.

It isn’t always easy to change that on your own

Op seems upset and frustrated by being in a situation which appears to be beyond her control.

Anything else is pure supposition.

Why pretend like you didn't know that just to be deliberately arrogant?

How on earth would you know what I know and don't know. I'm exhausted, vomiting non stop from chemo and thought I had missed a technicality about house swapping which I know nothing about. Why would I assume it was a typo? Why is that arrogant?

Now that someone has pointed out what was meant it makes sense.

I think you can do a few things.

Campaign with your local MP and newspapers. But you should have a good case and it’s good if you can understand more about why it’s not working well. Is it funds? Is it the system? If so, why did it get there? If you can understand more about it, you can really be effective at making a change. We have a democracy, use it.

You can go to citizens advice and others and really look at your options. Are they as bad as you think?

You can look at your own personal choices and responsibilities too. None of us here know, but you will. Honestly, with yourself, is there more you can do? Did you just expect to be housed through your own life choices? I don’t know the answer so I can’t judge. But if any of this is true, then your life will be so much better when you take control and responsibility for yourself.

Why are people commenting so defensively on a thread they know nothing about?

Jeepers - woman writes about a frustrating situation.

She is roundly hammered for having too many children, being greedy and entitled, not working and accused of whining for not just accepting her lot.

Excellent work!

I seriously doubt having the babies theory is a good tactic.. For one babies are expected to share with parents. Children are expected to share until they are 10 and different sexes or 16 if the same sex.
So you would have a long wait for your children to be able to claim a bedroom.

I blame the house builders for building crap houses no one wants to live in. I was at a HA meeting where family homes were being built over a Tesco Express ;famed for loud teenagers and regular drunks getting their late night bottles.And a busy road. I mean just why? Build homes that couples or singles can live in that can cross a road and don’t need quiet to go to bed at 8pm.
And councils for being more concerned with rent and empty properties than sorting out badly behaved tenants.

All the options for the Op are shit. So I think she’s allowed to complain.I suppose she could go to Uni/college and retrain but it’s very difficult to manage logistically - you have to time it right.

homeswapper is a joke. People will literally come round to ask you where you got your wall paper and flooring from !

Oh wow this would really piss me off. So you have to arrange viewings for nosy randoms who have no intention of swapping? This seems like a terrible system.

I can see that a garden would be a big selling point (although mine is a pain in the arse tbf) but your flat must have something you can attract people with. Is it like selling a house and you need some really good photos? Is it in really good decorative order? Or more like a project. I'm sure some people would like a project.

Errr, why should people in social housing be grateful we have a roof over or heads? We pay rent, council tax etc just like anyone else and this is like blaming the poor for being poor

Some social housing is grim, it's a completely different dynamic to private housing in that, when doing a swap, people expect the same facilities as private: driveway, fully decorated and carpeted, decent size garden etc and are incredibly fussy. That's what's put me off trying to swap my house because I hate where I live. If I'd bought it I would have sold up ages ago, but obviously I can't and should be "grateful".

ofcourse no one is going to swap to somewhere undesirable. I lived in a one bed 3rd floor flat (no lift) in a rough area of london. I didnt stand a chance. Council said look for a swap as I was
overcrowded, I tried but no one was interested which I cant blame them.

They do sometimes but there will have to be extenuating circumstances.

My granny swapped her beautiful wee bungalow for a hideous one which needed completely gutting. She did it because she was scared of the lady next door who used to threaten her in the garden and because the horrible house was closer to her daughter’s home.

They were, on paper, like for like though. Both one bedroom bungalows.

I am not sure you will swap where there is a significant difference in the house.

I had a 3 bed council house and needed a 5 as my kids were getting older and I and my son had medical needs. I swapped a 3 bed with front and rear gardens and a driveway for a ( rough as hell) 5 bed 3 story with a drive and rear garden. But I had to take it "as is".....that meant no internal doors, missing floor boards, shit smeared on the bedroom walls, yellow greasy nicotine stained walls, syringes and overflowing ashtrays and two rooms full of rubbish and a garden overflowing with crap. I have spent around 11k over two years setting things right (thank god for credit cards) and are still having to replace the party fence in the back garden.

But it was worth it. I love my house. The rooms are massive, my bedroom is 6x4 m and opens onto a roof terrace which I have done up lovely. My kids all have their own rooms and I have a disabled bathroom and a new adapted kitchen. The schools are 10 minutes away and the bus stop 5 minutes. I do not care that the area is a bit crap. This house will be mine forever, I am never moving again.

Is key money still a thing?

I was a bit mystified about compiling as well. If you aren't in the system, you're not going to understand the terminology.

But I can't see how the council are responsible, either. They give out what they've got, but they can't conjure up properties out of thin air. The bedroom tax was supposed to help but I don't know if it works.

I understand OP though many in here won’t. I really think people who have no children in larger houses should swap to smaller ones. My previous house the lady lived in one room as she couldn’t manage the stairs and used a commode.. yet wouldn’t swap. The situation went on for years with three empty bedrooms and an unused garden, until she sadly died
Unfortunately the swapper can also pull out at the last minute too which is heartbreaking for all involved.

Also a lady who once arranged to swap with me also viewed several other homes and also agreed to swap with them- so odd. A man once viewed my house and must’ve been unwell or using substances because when I went to see his as arranged he couldn’t remember me! You get some very nosy and unrealistic people using honeswapper
Other friends have swapped then found used needles, had baluffs in the doorstep and found previous tenant had ripped up all the flooring and taken the lightbulbs

Those swaps often fall through, too, but honestly, I wouldn't want to go from living in a house with a garden to a flat again.

OP I feel for you it's very very hard to get decent social housing when you've got a family in some areas.
It's not impossible to swap from a smaller place to a larger but it is hard because you are relying on being lucky enough to find someone who wants to downsize into your area.
It's a travesty that the social housing stock has been left to dwindle so families like yours end up trapped.
Are you tied to an area? Sometimes you can get better swaps if you're prepared to switch cities. I know uprooting everyone is less than ideal but it can be an answer if you have no ties.
Private rent isn't possible for everyone, even if the OP could afford the rent she may well not be able to get the deposit together or may not have a salary high enough to private rent. If you are on HB it is nigh on impossible to find a private landlord who isn't a cowboy.

p.s. I'd like to a program which offered incentives to those in a house bigger than their needs to downsize. i.e. cash bonus for every bedroom you drop, help with moving costs etc. to encourage people to move to smaller properties.

If you’re overcrowded it’s because you chose to have children whilst not being able to afford to privately rent or buy a larger house! Why should taxpayers fund this?? I have only got two children because we couldn’t afford to move to a bigger house, get a bigger car and all those other things that come with responsibility for funding your chosen lifestyle within the limits of what you can afford!!

The thing is, current policy encourages family blending amongst the low paid. So you need larger homes to be available affordably to support that.

op hasn't come back - is this supposed to be a deliberate statement to create argument/debate? nb she hasn't stated why she is in this situation or anything - at all

If you’re overcrowded it’s because you chose to have children whilst not being able to afford to privately rent or buy a larger house!
Yeah what were you thinking trying to have a family don't you know that's only for rich people. Everyone know if you're poor and find yourself pregnant it's your moral duty to just get rid of it

Who do you think should fund these incentives, gamerwidow?

This idea of giving up your nice, secure social housing home when things are a bit better sounds good on paper but at what point do you sit back and think ...you know what ...it’s been really hard for these last five years but...things are a bit easier now...I think we should move to the private sector where we possibly pay more rent and be at the mercy of a private landlord who can sell the roof over our heads at any time.

Does anyone ever do that?

I was on the housing list for 4 years, renting privately, but knew the landlord was selling, but not when. Luckily I was offered my 2 bed flat a month after getting my notice to leave. Everyone said with two teen boys I was crazy to take a two bed flat. But guess what- it’s down stairs, I have a back and front garden, new kitchen and bathroom (which I got to choose myself), parking right outside, and ALL my rooms are larger than the houses around here. Ds is 19 now, so he’s between here, his dads and university (he’s commuting but often stays with friends), if ds14 has a friend to stay, ds19 sleeps on the sofa, likewise if ds19 gf stays, ds14 sleeps on the sofa.

Ultimately I’m grateful for what I have. My HA have been fab. All workmen etc that come to do work, checks etc are lovely. But you have to make do with what you have. I could go back on now, as one son is over 18, to bid for a 3 bed. But as I see it, hopefully eldest will get a job when he graduates, and it’s 7 years until youngest graduates. Hopefully they be saving for somewhere to live, and I could end up with a 3 bed just for me (like half of the homes where I live- but that’s another story!).

(But there’s that little wish that I may have saved enough for a deposit for my own home....)