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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Home swapping is ridiculous

394 replies

Aaliyah1990 · 30/03/2019 10:49

I’m more than frustrated with the fact that you could bid for years and not get anywhere. Then you think to yourself oh maybe house swap might help? Nope not at all!!! the housing system is a big joke if you ain’t got a garden you can forget it,the demands people are asking for just makes you feel worse and all your hopes are thrown out the window. It’s almost like doing the lottery and hoping you get lucky. I don’t know if somehow these so called serious swappers are getting a power buzz out of it cause that’s what it’s seem to me. In all reality we should all stop compiling to these ridiculous set ups, you waste so many of years being unhappy then you feel as you have to beg in a way to get a property you want. I think it’s all wrong and the council should be responsible if your over crowded etc and the bidding set up is more of a joke you’ll be on there for centuries 🙄. Until the day everyone stops compiling then that’s the day you’ll be able to get what you want but everyone seems to conform to things that are unrealistic,draining and upsetting. From today I’m not doing any of the guideline rules forget it!!! It doesn’t work out and it just makes their jobs easier while we suffer nope not anymore. So on that note I’ll get back to you guys. I’ll update to see that my situation will have improved. And I’ll let you what I did to get out of the flat/cage I’m in.

OP posts:

HighsandLows77 · 30/03/2019 11:46

YANBU at all OP.

homeswapper is a joke. People will literally come round to ask you where you got your wall paper and flooring from !

They all want private gardens in residential areas the worse ones are those who live on an estate on the 16th floor only wanting a house!

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 30/03/2019 11:48

...then that’s the day you’ll be able to get what you want
Can you expand on this, op? What measures would you put in place to ensure everybody gets what they want, housing wise?!
I’m sure we’d all like to hear your words of wisdom.

Morgan12 · 30/03/2019 11:48

Pretty obvious OP meant complying.

Why pretend like you didn't know that just to be deliberately arrogant?

Dramatical · 30/03/2019 11:49

the housing system is a big joke

Actually it's a lifesaver.

SoyDora · 30/03/2019 11:50

Why pretend like you didn't know that just to be deliberately arrogant?

I wasn’t sure if it was a term relating to the house swapping process that I was unaware of. Having read it back it is of course obvious that she meant complying. I’ve had two hours sleep as I have a newborn and obviously am not as clever as you.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 30/03/2019 11:52

The thing is there are people already in a one bed flat and then they plan another child and then they complain.
Or they're 3rd floor,no garden and stairs and plan a child and then complain it's hard with the buggy/3 kids up and down the stairs etc.

However there are many more people that end up in unsuitable accommodations due to unfortunate circumstances, disability,illnesses,accidents, losing jobs, running away from DV etc.

What really sucks is that private renting is so extortionate, house prices are ridiculous and there's a limited number of social housing available.

OohYeBelter47 · 30/03/2019 11:54

You have to be realistic about what you have to offer, if you want more bedrooms then what are you giving in return? e.g is it is a nice area or more central? It's a trade off. I intend to swap mine at some point, I will be giving up a bedroom so that I can live by the sea or if staying in London I'll want to be in a better area in return for giving up the extra bedroom. What is your trade off? Can you move to a worse area do you can have more bedrooms?

I work with lots of people in hostels/ B&Bs etc and they keep having more children but then complain that the council aren't rehousing them.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 30/03/2019 11:55

As for swapping, most people downsizing will be older and as such will want/need some comforts. If you hate your flat so much it's unreasonable to expect someone will like it enough to give up the extra space.

LipstickforFish · 30/03/2019 11:57

The council should not be responsible for overcrowding, people make choices. Having more children than they have room for is a choice.

We lived in a two bed first floor HA flat several years ago. We wanted to move to another two bedroom, we basically gave a radius of 15 miles, would swap for anything two bedroom. I didn't like the area, but it was and still is very popular with swaps for some reason!

We couldn't get anyone to swap with us, no one wanted a flat. Everyone wanted a house with a garden (and a driveway in most cases!)

Our circumstances changed a bit so in the end we decided if we wanted to move, we would have to make it happen ourselves - so cut back, saved up and bought a house (which I know isn't possible for everyone) but if you don't like where you are living, do something about it - renting is always an option for some people. Failing that, why not just be grateful you actually have somewhere to live? It may not be what you want, but it's a roof over your head - which is more than some people.

The flat we handed back to the HA got a new tenant within a few months and straight away, I saw it on Gumtree for swaps...... I think the person is still living there as they can't get anyone to swap either

AzureApps · 30/03/2019 12:01

My cousin did a successful swap from a coastal place to a city. It can be done, location is key.

Your OP comes across as though you intend to live in social housing long term, why is that and can you look to change your circumstances?

Biscusting · 30/03/2019 12:03

I’d be more pissed off at the absolutely crap wages and working conditions offered by some of the big companies.
A very well known budget hotel company were offering a night shift near me. Working until 4am. 10-15 hours a week over 2-4 days. Min wage offered, person required experience for the unskilled job and had to be totally flexible as the shift pattern would change frequently. This ruling out an additional job to supplement income.

This is not the only job like this, there are multiple jobs like this offered at any one time.

It’s shocking that big employers can get away with that.

LIVVI1234 · 30/03/2019 12:04

SoyDora - I thought she meant compiling too - don't feel bad!!

colehawlins · 30/03/2019 12:04

Your OP comes across as though you intend to live in social housing long term, why is that and can you look to change your circumstances?

It's supposed to be a long term tenure, you clod. What "circumstances" would you like her to change?

Or we could just stick to the question?

Bluestitch · 30/03/2019 12:04

It's a trade off.

Exactly this. I'm moving to a house that is smaller- same amount of bedrooms but smaller rooms, no downstairs loo, giving up big kitchen diner. That's because the house I'm moving to is the exact location we need so I'm willing to compromise. The issue is with those who aren't willing to compromise at all but then complaining on the sites that they aren't getting anywhere.

steff13 · 30/03/2019 12:04

the council should be responsible if your over crowded

How is the council responsible if you're overcrowded? Did they not place you in adequately sized housing? Genuine question - I'm in the US and I'm not familiar with the social housing system.

Bluestitch · 30/03/2019 12:05

Your OP comes across as though you intend to live in social housing long term

That's the whole point of it, secure permanent housing.

littledoll33 · 30/03/2019 12:05

I am somewhat sympathetic and think there should be way more (decent) social housing. But I have (sadly) known quite a number of people have another kid to get a bigger/better home from the council.

A woman I knew had a little boy with her partner, and was renting a 3 bed private let. She got pregnant again when the little boy was 2, and moved into another private let - a TWO bed. Who the hell moves into a smaller property when another kid is on the way?

I spoke to her cousin, and it turned out she was on the housing list, and reckoned if they moved to a 2 bed, that the council would have to give them a 3 bed house.

Wrong. The second one was a boy too, and it turns out that they could share the second bedroom up to when the older one was 18.

You can probably guess what's coming next; a year later, she was pregnant again. I lost touch with her and her family soon after, so never knew if she was housed by the council or not. But she was definitely having more kids to get a bigger house/council house.

Not everyone does this, but some do. Like some women get pregnant so they don't have to go out to work. Sounds like a controversial thing to say, but it does happen.

colehawlins · 30/03/2019 12:08

But she was definitely having more kids to get a bigger house/council house.

Cool story Bro.

SoyDora · 30/03/2019 12:15

But she was definitely having more kids to get a bigger house/council house

This makes no sense. For the money it costs to bring up an extra child, surely they could afford to rent a bigger house?

Lovemusic33 · 30/03/2019 12:20

I have been in the swap list for years but mainly to be nosey, I live I a desirable area, small 3 bed with a good sized garden on the edge of a village, I have had loads of cheeky people telling me I should swap with them because I only have 2 children so could live in a 2 bed flat (I can’t, my dc’s are disabled which is why they get a room each).

Most of the people wanting to swap want to do so because they want somewhere bigger, other reasons are usually because it’s a rough area or they have no garden, it’s very rare that someone wants to downsize from their nice 4 bed to a 1 bed flat.

anniehm · 30/03/2019 12:23

Why should it be the councils responsibility if you are over crowded? (A few specific circumstances aside like taking in a relatives kids). Nip to the dr and prevent babies....

Those of us who work hard and stuck at one or two can get very peeved by the sense of entitlement people have. I would prefer that the state owned accommodation was to house people with extra needs or short term in emergencies eg escaping abuse or following no fault eviction, then get back on your feet and move on. Just my opinion, I support a welfare safety net not lifestyle

Billben · 30/03/2019 12:24

the council should be responsible if your over crowded

We have an aquintance. Neither him or his wife has worked for the past 7 years. Kids aged 7, 6, 4 and 2 months old baby. All living in a 3 bedroom house on a crappy street. Desperately bidding every week with a hope that somebody will give up their 4-5 bedroom house with a garden so they can have it.

Should the council be responsible for re-housing them? No way. They should have stopped having kids they can’t even afford to feed.

Poeple’s circumstances change, and that’s a different story but in cases like our aquintance, I’ve got zero sympathy.

DontCallMeShitley · 30/03/2019 12:26

Well, there are people living in makeshift shelters at the back of shops and in tents in the park, am sure they would swap with you and there would be a big garden.

The problem is that there are not enough affordable homes or jobs that pay enough and more people here than before. There are people who stop paying rent in order to get council housing because they have a baby, people having children to get homes. It is reminiscent of the old tenements with entire families in one room, and sharing a toilet with 5 other families, pre-council housing. This country is going backwards.

Shinesweetfreedom · 30/03/2019 12:27

I assume the council where responsible in the past for overcrowding.Unfortunately now if you are relying on others for what you have, you have to deal with it or make your own arrangements.
There are families in bed and breakfast or sheltered accommodation.
I know one single man in his fifties who has cancer,who is homeless,and the only reason he has been housed is because he has cancer.He is in a bed and breakfast and grateful too.
He has always made his own living arrangements and now fallen on hard times.
You were housed in the first place without having to be old or have cancer.
Stop whining,if since being given your own place you have continued to have more kids that’s down to you.

Passmethecrisps · 30/03/2019 12:28

Are you suggesting annie that people who live long term in social housing don’t work hard? Don’t have jobs?

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