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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Home swapping is ridiculous

394 replies

Aaliyah1990 · 30/03/2019 10:49

I’m more than frustrated with the fact that you could bid for years and not get anywhere. Then you think to yourself oh maybe house swap might help? Nope not at all!!! the housing system is a big joke if you ain’t got a garden you can forget it,the demands people are asking for just makes you feel worse and all your hopes are thrown out the window. It’s almost like doing the lottery and hoping you get lucky. I don’t know if somehow these so called serious swappers are getting a power buzz out of it cause that’s what it’s seem to me. In all reality we should all stop compiling to these ridiculous set ups, you waste so many of years being unhappy then you feel as you have to beg in a way to get a property you want. I think it’s all wrong and the council should be responsible if your over crowded etc and the bidding set up is more of a joke you’ll be on there for centuries 🙄. Until the day everyone stops compiling then that’s the day you’ll be able to get what you want but everyone seems to conform to things that are unrealistic,draining and upsetting. From today I’m not doing any of the guideline rules forget it!!! It doesn’t work out and it just makes their jobs easier while we suffer nope not anymore. So on that note I’ll get back to you guys. I’ll update to see that my situation will have improved. And I’ll let you what I did to get out of the flat/cage I’m in.

OP posts:
Tomorrowillbeachicken · 31/03/2019 18:03

I’d understand if you were overcrowded from the beginning but if you carry on having kids knowing that you’ll force yourself into that situation I don’t see why the council should buy increasingly larger homes to accommodate this.

dragonsfire · 31/03/2019 18:05

I feel for you OP, you have had some struggles and that’s exactly what social housing is for so don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for it!

Sounds like your son moved in after you had been living there - so ignore all the stop having kids comments!

I have no idea if this is helpful as don’t know where you are or even if it’s allowed but every new build site is required to have at least 20% Housing Association. So if any new build sites around might be worth contacting the builders sales office and ask which authority will the H.A. plots be going to?

Then you can go to the H.A. and put in your interest very early and can hopefully get on the list for a new build!

I hope it gets better for you.

Original poster
Aaliyah1990 · 31/03/2019 18:14

One of my friends sued the council because she was over crowded this was a while back though and she won the case. I wouldn’t be just going on them terms anyways there will be a lot more added to the case than that. And Yh moving far I’m already far from family as it is moving even further I would feel really isolated

OP posts:
Original poster
Aaliyah1990 · 31/03/2019 18:17

thank you for your help dragonfire I will looked into I didn’t know you could do that. And I appreciate you taking the time to read through my thread and not jumping to conclusions

OP posts:
celticprincess · 31/03/2019 18:19

The new builds near us do have the Housing association quota in them however bidding on them is harder than bidding for regular older houses that are available.

Allergictoironing · 31/03/2019 18:19

Tomorrowillbeachicken you are obviously unable to read beyond the first post before commenting for some reason, so I will summarise for you :-

OP has ONE DS, who is 14. Said DS didn't originally live with her but has had to move in with her, a long time after she was first housed in that flat. She has not been "breeding" indiscriminately since being housed there.

You are about the 20th person to make exactly the same comment, based on the "continued breeding" assumption, all of whom have been put right already in the day and a half this thread has been going.

RTFT, or at least the OP's posts! Angry

Asta19 · 31/03/2019 18:22

Loletta

You can’t “make” people downsize. I have a spare room. For now. I don’t have bedroom tax or discretionary payments as I pay my own rent so it doesn’t apply. My DS has taken a year long job abroad. He’s hoping to stay longer but the contract is a year. If he has to come back after, he’ll need that room. If I downsized and he had to come home then I’d be overcrowded!

I do understand the frustration of some people having spare rooms while others are crammed into a place that’s too small but all me and my DC really have in this world is each other. Their dad passed away, there’s only my mum left in terms of GP’s and she isn’t interested. I will do everything in my power to keep our family home as long as my DC might need it. It might not belong to me, but it is our family home.

Where I lived before, the old lady next door had a 3 bed house and it was just her. She did end up living solely downstairs for health reasons. But, she did die about 3 years later so the council had the house back. In the long run it didn’t really make a difference whether they got it then or 3 years before. It still went to a family in the end. I feel this is what people keep forgetting, these houses will all go back to the landlords when we die anyway! We’re not taking them with us! Yes its frustrating for someone who needs more space now but you can’t force others to give up their home.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 31/03/2019 18:22

The problem with having a small search area with a specification that is unwanted is that success is very unlikely. The council have to use resources they have and suing them just reduces the resources further.

Ravenesque · 31/03/2019 18:24

I feel for you, @Aaliyah1990. I've been on Homeswapper for too many years. I've so far had three swaps fall through once documentation has started and it's so frustrating and disheartening. I've changed the areas I'd consider which made it slightly better, but still have ongoing frustration and feel like I'll never get out of my flat. I actually love my flat just not where it is. It's not somewhere horrible, but it's in a village with limited transport and I don't drive so often feel stuck here. I changed my areas to include parts of London because it's where I'm from and while for years I never thought I'd want to go back, now I realise that it's actually what I need. I have some mobility issues and would love to be in an area where I can get out and about and have things near me, rather than stuck in a village with very little in terms of what I can get to. It's a lovely village, near Brighton, near the sea, near the South Downs and a lot of people are interested, but ... you know yourself how it can be.

I'm also on the HA bidding thing - my doctor understands how difficult it is for me with some mental health issues and well, lots other stuff as well Smile so he wrote a letter for me that got me on the list - but every Wednesday I open the new list and everything's in the North. I love the North, but I have no friends or family there and it's not where I want to be. I'm so lucky to have this flat and I'm aware of that, but I really need to move and it's so, so hard.

You are in an even more difficult situation than me, so I'm sending you lots of love and all fingers and toes crossed that it happens before too long!

larsanator · 31/03/2019 18:24

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CaMePlaitPas · 31/03/2019 18:26

I wish people would stop saying "well don't have more kids" - talk about shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, what a banal, ignorant and uninspired thing to say. The system is hugely unfair, I don't agree with the OP that it's the council's responsibility if people are overcrowded, but people who rely on this system are often victims of circumstance, if they could afford to rent in the private sector obviously they would. The system is broken, there are too many older people living in homes that could be better utilised by families (although I'm not suggesting it's ethical to kick them out, but the government should be offering incentives to move them on) and there isn't enough housing stock in general.

Good luck OP, it's not easy.

wooo69 · 31/03/2019 18:27

Yes they would have to move back. Sometimes the swap has been agreed but just hasn’t been finalised so we may use discretion and just speed up completing the paperwork. There are some who never make contact so we don’t know until after it has happened and we are informed by housing benefit that their claim has been cancelled or dwp request confirmation of of rent cost if on universal credit. We would make these move back.

Ravenesque · 31/03/2019 18:33

@Bravelurker, don't be too suspicious. Some people just want a quieter life/no longer want to live in London. If it wasn't for them I'd not even get a look at some of the places that have fallen through. Cloud/silver lining! Grin

Asta19 · 31/03/2019 18:35

Wow I’m surprised they have the nerve! i’ve swapped a few times but would never have risked not doing it all the right way.

OP, have you considered whether you could get another 1 bed but with a better layout? I know it’s not ideal but it could work better than where you are now. Or ask the council to move you to a different 1 bed? I know you need a 2 but at least if you and you son had proper separate spaces it would be better.

sunshine11 · 31/03/2019 18:50

Or be grateful that you’ve got subsidised housing?!

x2boys · 31/03/2019 18:53

Social.housing isn't subsidised and in many areas it's comparable with private rent every time there's a thread on social housing the same old bull shit is spouted Hmm

shazwee · 31/03/2019 18:56

The council is not responsible for overcrowding, don't have kids if you cant afford to house them, makes my blood boil, people complaining about their lives buy a bloody house like I had too !!!!

gamerchick · 31/03/2019 18:56

Or be grateful that you’ve got subsidised housing?!

Are you being goady on purpose? Hmm

Ravenesque · 31/03/2019 18:59

Or be grateful that you’ve got subsidised housing?!

The vast majority of us are grateful which doesn't mean that we can't ever complain even a tiny little bit when things aren't right for us and we need, actually need, to move. So, you know, do one.

Tessabelle74 · 31/03/2019 19:02

@Ewitsahooman
In talking about social housing in general, my neighbour got moved due to overcrowding, she had 2 more kids after moving into her 3 bed, why should that be the councils responsibility?

Tessabelle74 · 31/03/2019 19:07

@ Aaliyah1990
It's all wrong and the council should be responsible if your over crowded etc

I'm sorry, where did I misunderstand this comment saying the council should rehouse people who are overcrowded? I'm not asking anyone else to move me or provide us with a bigger home, we're saving for a loft conversion

x2boys · 31/03/2019 19:07

Are you assuming that nobody in social housing works shazwee and there get their houses for free? or or you just another poster who can't be arsed to read the thread? It's like cancel the cheque Hmm

x2boys · 31/03/2019 19:09

This thread isn't about your neighbour Tessabelle.

Original poster
Aaliyah1990 · 31/03/2019 19:10

Thank you allergictoironing

OP posts:
CuleJules · 31/03/2019 19:15

My OH & I were offered a single bedroom bungalow by a local HA, we were band B as I have health & mobility problems and our home was unsuitable. The bungalow was well looked after and clean, with front & back gardens. but I was concerned as the only access to the property is via 7 steep steps down; not ideal when I'm on crutches. I mentioned my concerns to the HA agent who bluntly told us that we didn't have to accept the offer but if we didn't we would lose our priority status and would probably have to wait a long time for another property. OH said he could help me with the stairs and it was so much better than where we were so we accepted.
18 months on my OH had a stroke and was no longer able to manage the steps let alone help me down them. The HA had previously allowed us to have a driveway put in at our own expense, but it is very steep so we could only just manage to get to the car, and my mobility was getting worse so almost 3 years ago we applied for a transfer. Our banding was a C because this place is in good condition even though the HA said we should never have been placed here because of the steps. So every week I checked available places but was always way down the list. Then, 9 months ago my world fell apart when my beloved OH, BF & carer suddenly died. The HA is still as unhelpful, & although on PIP enhanced both care & mobility, trying to adjust to life without my OH, I am still a band C & almost housebound. People show an interest in swapping until they see the steep driveway & steps.
Yes, circumstances can & do change & whatever the OP's reasons for needing a move she probably feels justified in having a bit of a moan.