To not tell anyone I'm pregnant?

[BambooB]

Just found I am 4 weeks pregnant.

In all honesty I have had 2 early miscarriages and I don't want anyone to know I am pregnant until I've had the scan and all is ok?.

Including my daughter? Which is going to be so hard as she is asking me all the time if I can have a baby brother/sister for her!. She keeps drawing pictures of us and 'the new baby' and putting her hand on my stomach telling me she can't wait to meet 'the baby'.

I 100% have not told her, my partner doesn't even know yet - we've not been great recently and my last miscarriage he took it really hard.

I'm just frightened and want to have an early scan (private) to make sure all is ok before I say anything to anyone,

AIBU to not tell anyone for another 4 weeks? I can book a scan at 8 weeks. I don't want my daughter to be hurt if I lose this baby too, and same with my partner.

I have had several early miscarriages. I didn't tell my husband I was pregnant the time before this on as quite frankly, I wasn't sure there was going to be anything to tell and I felt if I kept it quiet it wasnt as real and I was shielding him from a potentially distressing event. The pregnancy ended at 8 weeks. I felt like I couldn't tell him then as it was too late to mention it. I kept it to myself and eventually it came out in an arguement, because that shit is too big to hold in a marriage. He was devastated I hadn't told him and felt deceived I could keep something so big from him. So although my intentions were good, it turned out causing hurt anyway. Just a story for you to consider.

Just seen your updates. Tell him. Hugs to you. I know the pain doesnt get any easier. Wishing you all the best.

From horrific experience I would urge you not to tell your LO until later than 8 weeks- even if an early scan goes well. We told DD1 she was getting her desperately longed for baby brother or sister on her 4th birthday- I was 9 weeks pregnant. She knew when my 12 week scan was and was so excited to come home from school to a photo of her baby. We found out at the scan that our baby had died- at 9 weeks. I’ll never do anything as horrific as trying to deal with my own crushing grief and tell our precious girl the news. 4 months later we suffered another loss- thankfully she knew nothing of it. Finally we had our 2nd baby but even after 3 scans before our actual dating scan we didn’t tell her til after that scan when I was 13+6. Just a cautionary tale for you. Huge congratulations on this pregnancy and good luck to you and your family OP xxx

I am SO sorry OP. Just seen your updates. Please disregard my comment. Sending love