My MIL

[WobblyandSmall]

DS birthday. He phones my MIL to thank her for gift of money. She proceeds to tell OH that an old schoolfriend (contact long lost) has recently died. OH is understandably saddened by news and becomes very glum.

AIBU or could she have waited to share that news in a different phonecall that wasn't primarily about her grandson's birthday?

Well, I mean...

You are being a bit U. She didn't tell your DS. And if she'd just heard the news and was upset / worried for your DH, she may not have been thinking much beyond wanting to let him know.

I think you're grasping at straws to be really annoyed, and should maybe focus on just being sympathetic to the loss of his friend.

Gosh, are you usually so lacking in sensitivity?

Totally. hang up and then redial

YABU
Sorry sweetheart but your precious DC’s birthday doesn’t mean everyone has to tiptoe around you and only discuss the birthday.
Bet if someone you know personally dropped dead on your DC’s birthday, you’d come to Mumsnet saying ‘how dare they, how inconsiderate!’

Reverse? Otherwise you're being ridiculous.

Someone your DH used to be friends with and shared time with dies and you're pissed off because it dampened the mood? It's not like he cancelled the party.
Jesus OP.

YABU, sorry. Someone has died.

I completely get it. 100%

If I ring my DGM up with exciting news you can always guarantee she will say or tell me something seriously depressing.

I love her to bits but she is a fucking mood hoverer

Was she supposed to phone him back ten minutes later and tell him then?

My exh chose to have his df's funeral on ds's birthday..
That was a fuck up imo.
Least you only had 1 phone call to deal with op.

no, i wouldn't. cos i am not actually an @rsehole.

i'm just not sure that telling OH via speakerphone rather than spending 5 mins engaging with her grandson asking him about his birthday presents and wishing him a happy birthday is terribly reasonable.

but i take on board that she may have only just found out and needed to say it there and then. and i get that sometimes you just have to talk about something.

if she didn't have a history of being self-obsessed and making every conversation about her choice of topic i would probably be more charitable.