to spend my money on this?

[waterbunnies]

I hate my teeth. I've always hated my teeth. I've just left an emotionally abusive relationship and am going through the 'let's reinvent myself' stage. I am looking to have composite bonds put on my top and bottom teeth costing about £1800. Once the house is sold I'll be receiving around £6000. I want to put this towards buying my own place, but really, really want my teeth done...

Do I:

A) get my teeth done and continue saving

Or

B) just put it in savings and try and buy my own place a little sooner?

I have a 5 month old son and whilst we have a place to live and a rather lovely roof over our heads, it's hard to put my cosmetic wants first in this situation...

AIBU to get my teeth done?

As someone who's husband just died...

Get your teeth done. Happy mummy happy child.

Children remember happiness and not material things trust me on that.

Get tour teeth done.... sets you back 12 months but will give you a lifetime of self worth and confidence

Thanks @warriorprincessandwidowed ! I'm so torn. I never, ever get cosmetic stuff done. Never had my nails done. Hair is always up and never coloured. Don't do spa days, don't do much nice for myself. I would just be so happy if I could have this done... my confidence would be through the roof. My teeth aren't even that bad, but they're bad enough for me to smile with my mouth closed...

Although I can sympathise with hating a part of yourself, it does seem like a lot of money to spend when the other option is using it towards a house deposit.

I would definitely keep the money in the house deposit fund. Even 6k is quite a small deposit and spending almost a 3rd of this seems crazy. Especially if you think about how long it would take to save the same amount again.

@warriorprincessandwidowed so sorry about your husband. I hope you are coping okay unmumsnetty hugs.

@IceRebel thinking about it it would probably take me 4-6 ish months? Once I've gone back to work anyway. But what you mention is my dilemma exactly...

Once I've gone back to work anyway.

Is that taking into account childcare costs? I'm sure you have, but they can be pretty expensive so would make saving more of a challenge.

As someone who also hates my teeth (large gap between top front ones), if definitely have the cosmetic work.
Buying a house isn't essential, happiness is.

Get your teeth done. You are allowed to do things to make you happy in yourself. You don't need permission to spend your money. To hell with anyone who would even pass comment on you spending money on yourself.

Get your teeth done. My teeth are a train wreck of overcrowded and sticky out types and it keeps me from smiling. Get them done & smile in the photos with your kids like we all want to

@IceRebel thankfully I have family who can help so my childcare costs are minimal. I know I'm incredibly lucky I will only have to pay for 2.5 days of childcare a week.

Get your teeth done op

Sort your teeth out. Best thing I ever did. I've never stopped smiling.

It just feels so selfish... I'm definitely swaying more towards teeth... thank you all!

I wouldn’t have the teeth done , you would be better off saving up and having veneers as composite bonding does not last as long .

Go for your teeth if you can afford it. I’m waiting to have my nose done on the nhs (it’s broke in 4 places so causes trouble breathing, I don’t know how much of a difference it will make to the outward appearance of it though- the wonk as I call it!). But I’ve had money in the past from redundancy, PPI etc, and used it for family holidays, paying off loans and so on. As much as that’s made me happy, I still wish I’d saved some and had my nose done. I have hardly any photos of me and my children together as I hate seeing my nose.

So if you feel the same way as I do about my wonky conk- get them done!

@Floralnomad veneers would be amazing but they're so, so expensive I don't think I would ever be able to afford them! I've had a composite bond put on before. It's still there 13 years later and I'm having it done by the same person. Hopefully these will last as long. The last one I had was on the NHS as I was under 18 and have hypodontia. I hate my teeth

It would be too large a chunk of money to take out of the £6k for me. House deposit first, teeth second.

I am going to say teeth first too. It is a confidence thing. Do it. Be happy.

Do it.

Will you be happy in a new house with your old teeth?

Or happy in your old house for a bit longer with new teeth?

To be honest, i’d want a secure home first for me and my child after the upheaval of a traumatic separation.

Save for the teeth not the security.

For context, where I'm staying now is with friends. They help me with baby and I help with their daughter. They don't want me to leave so I can stay as long as I like. I give them £200 a month and then help with their daughter so saving at the moment is easy. If I keep the £6000, buy a house and move out, I might never be able to afford my teeth...

Sorry, this is just me trying to justify it to myself. It's hard being selfish when you have a baby..

It's probably not what you want to hear but I would probably do house then teeth. With such a young child security needs to come first over cosmetics

House first. Teeth afterwards. £1.8k out of £6k is a massive % and if you could easily re-save that amount you wouldn't even be asking.

@waterbunnies
If the state of your teeth is causing you to alter the way you smile and/or affects your confidence then have them done if the results will be worthwhile.

A smile is one of the first things we see about people and an awkward/no smile is going to get misunderstood (eg by people who have influence in giving you a job).

See also if there are other ways to save and/or make money to get your deposit on your new home.

Whatever decision you make I hope your new future is a positive one!

If you are just staying with friends i would get the house first.You dont know things will be in 6 months.You could be sick of each other but you have spent the money.