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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hand hold - I had to give my baby CPR

136 replies

BatmansBoxers · 29/03/2019 06:27

My little girl. She had bronchiolitis and was discharged from hospital but the next day I thought she looked sleepy and wasn't feeding well. I thought maybe theyd keep her and give her the NG tube back, but I sat in the back of the car with her while my mum drove is back in because I didn't think she looked right and she seemed to be shallow breathing.

She turned yellow, her eyes rolled and then stayed open, she made a horrible gasp and then just...stopped. She just stared completely unresponsive.

We were on a motorway and had to pull over and I called 999 and I had to resuscitate her but she still wouldn't breathe and I keep worrying I did it wrong because her chest didn't rise. She kept gasping but only a couple of times a minute, and I keep seeing her just staring at me glassy eyed.

Paramedics took over when they got here and they got her back but it was so so so horrible. There were loads of consultants there when we arrived and they managed to sort her out but told me had we been minutes later she would've died.

She's currently in hospital on CPAP, the diagnosis is a new infection that's turned into pneumonia and it collapsed her airways but I feel so upset by what's happened I don't know why I'm writing this just need someone to listen and tell me she'll be okay I guess

OP posts:

sideorderofchips · 29/03/2019 16:29

My lovely you are so brave.

Cpr is horrific at the best of times. To have to do it to your own child is unthinkable. And yet you did it

You are a hero. And it is so frightening and so traumatic but you did it. Make sure you get the support you need as well.

Minxmumma · 29/03/2019 16:33

Big hand hold.

It is horrible and traumatic but your brave and quick actions saved your little one.

Please take care of yourself and get some support to talk things through

chorusline79 · 29/03/2019 16:34

Well done, you did amazingly, how terrifying for you. I hope your daughter recovers well and be v kind to yourself, that must have been so scary.

flapjackfairy · 29/03/2019 16:36

I had to do CPR on my foster child once. He has complex needs and had a blocked shunt in his head leading to pressure building up that supressed his vital functions. I was a wreck when it was all over and he was safe in hospital.

The worst thing for me was the feeling that I would never, ever relax again and life would never again be normal but it did pass and I did manage to sleep at night without being in a perpetual state of fear eventually. But it took a bit of time so be kind to yourself in the meantime.
And yes well done. Your daughter is lucky to have a mum who knew what to do. I still do first aid training every year in the hope that if I ever need it again it will come back to me when needed.
Hope your little girl is home v soon xxx

labazsisgoingmad · 29/03/2019 16:41

you must be in shock when things happen you just do it automatically doesnt hit you until after sending a big hand hold to you and loving wishes that all is sorted with your dc

Aeroflotgirl · 29/03/2019 16:41

You did an awsome job , well done, without you she could have died. Wishing her a speedy recovery .

Tinysarah1985 · 29/03/2019 16:45

Well done! It is bloody scarey. I had to do CPR on my daughter when she was a year old. She had a seizure, foaming at the mouth, unresponsive, they went blue/grey. Had to lay her on the dining room table and do it. It was the longest 2 minutes of my life- the ambulance was only round the corner when they got the call, 2 ambulances turned up and 1 guy from each crew ran into the house before their ambulance had even stopped. That was much more frightening then the time I had to do it at work when a patient collpased in the doctors surgey.

SurgeHopper · 29/03/2019 16:49

Thank you for posting this, it must have been difficult. Glad she's doing well

Original poster

BatmansBoxers · 29/03/2019 17:06

Interestingly her viral swabs show the same virus that caused the initial infection. This may still be bronchiolitis.

OP posts:

nocoolnamesleft · 29/03/2019 17:27

As others have said, CPR is always scary, especially on a child. CPR on your own baby, in the back of a car, on the hard shoulder of the motorway? I have the most enormous respect for you that you managed to do that. And the reason you managed, of course, is that it is your baby. And it is truly amazing what parents can do when their children absolutely need them to.

You saved her life. Right now, that is the scariest thought you can imagine. One day it will be part of the story you tell her about where she can from, and who she is. And she will be so proud of her awesome mum.

On this thread are some other amazing mums who have been where you are, mums who dread being in your position, and health care professionals who know how hard this must have been. And we're all united in relief for your daughter, and pride in you.

If I ruled the world, antenatal classes would automatically include what to do with a choking baby, and infant CPR. But they don't. In a lot of areas British Red Cross and St John's Ambulance to baby and children first aid classes. Some areas other charities are involved. I encourage people reading this to go on one, just in case. It's not like the real thing, but does give something to help fall back on in terrifying situations.

Look after yourself, BatmansBoxers. You're a pretty awesome mum.

Sirzy · 29/03/2019 17:29

Bronchiolitis does get worse before it gets better so it could well be.

Ds also developed a secondary infection on top of bronchiolitis the first (and worst) time he had it

Original poster

BatmansBoxers · 30/03/2019 06:45

Thank you all. She's doing okay today. They've said CF is unlikely but they just want to double check, they think she has just been unlucky. She was low birth weight and a bit early so consultant feels that is why she's had chest infections and that coupled with it being the winter, they think it's just incredibly unlucky.

OP posts:

ohfourfoxache · 30/03/2019 08:55

It sounds like they are being quite thorough which is reassuring.

Did you manage to get any sleep?

Original poster

BatmansBoxers · 30/03/2019 19:33

I did. She is doing well today. They've said they are now fairly sure it's viral.

OP posts:

Nolagerformethanks · 30/03/2019 19:43

I haven't had time to RTFT but I can't begin to imagine how scary that was for you, I have a 3.5 month old and I would of just panicked! Your are amazing! I'm now off to Google baby CPR, I suppose you never know when you might need it. Thanks for sharing your story as it has really made me think about what I would do in this situation, I hope your daughter is ok and Happy Mothers Day to you

Cornishclio · 30/03/2019 19:47

Oh my goodness how scary. You did brilliantly though to not go to pieces. This has reminded me a group of us decided a month or so back to do a baby and child first aid course so will get on to that immediately as I would not have a clue where to start should my DGDs have something like that happen to them. Fingers crossed that whatever your little girl has that it's viral and she recovers soon.

You saved her life though which is magnificent.

RumbleMum · 30/03/2019 19:51

So glad she's improving OP, and I hope you're OK. My DS was small at birth and was in and out of hospital after catching everything under the sun for the first six months - then he caught up and is the most robust 9yo you can imagine. I hope once your DD is a bit older she'll be the same.

Crunchymum · 30/03/2019 19:58

Glad things are improving OP. It must have been terrifying and you did amazingly.

FWIW, my DC3 was a neonate and she couldn't be discharged without at least one parent doing a basic first aid course (resuscitation and choking).... I applaud my hospital for doing this.

Keep well

MissyPG · 30/03/2019 20:06

I’ve not read all the comments OP, but I agree with PP, you saved her. Please don’t beat yourself up because you felt you missed something. My DD had sepsis at 7 weeks old and I didn’t realise, she had septic shock by the time I got her to the doctor, not even hospital. Was beating myself up (mentally) for a long time. It can be so hard to tell when they’re tiny, people kept telling me she had a cold, so exactly like you, I thought she was getting over an illness. Look after yourself and I hope your baby girl is on the mend xx

PurpleCrazyHorse · 30/03/2019 20:09

And how amazing to keep it together to give clear directions for the paramedics to get to you. You did brilliantly. Please try not to fret about whether she should have gone in sooner, kids go downhill very quickly at times so it's difficult to see what might be coming. The fact is, you got your DD to hospital. Praying for a smooth and steady improvement back to full health (and for you too)

CaramelEmporium · 30/03/2019 20:16

Well done OP, seriously what you did was incredible. I cannot begin to imagine being in that situation and coping as amazingly as you did xx I wish you and your DD the very best xx

JuniperGinYay · 30/03/2019 20:18

You are a fantastic and brave woman.

It’ll be very very hard to process, but i hope one day you feel pride in saving her.

I’m so glad she’s doing better

Original poster

BatmansBoxers · 04/04/2019 19:59

Hi thought you might like an update. She is recovering.

However she has lost her ability to suck and a SALT review has shown her suck is weak. She also has low muscle tone. They think she may have been choking on the milk which hasn't caused the problem but has made it worse.

She didn't have the best birth and it's been suggested this may be the early indicators of something like cerebral palsy.

OP posts:

SinkGirl · 04/04/2019 20:22

Sending huge hugs to you - I’ve partially been there. One of my twins was in nicu for 8 weeks and within a few days of coming home he got very sick. We took him into hospital a few times and they said it was bronchiolitis but wasn’t bad enough to admit him. Then one day he just deteriorated like that and was unresponsive - I had to call an ambulance and support his breathing, I felt like I was having an out of body experience afterwards. They still sent us home.

Then at a nicu check up two days later his o2 was down to 70% and he was admitted to HDU for nearly a fortnight. By the end they were saying it was whooping cough, not bronchiolitis. It was awful.

He’s had a lot of new diagnoses since then and I understand how you’re feeling right now. Do PM me if you want to chat. Just take care of yourself, get as much rest as you can and seek out some help when things settle down (one thing I regret most is not seeking help for all the trauma we went through in those early months).

Hubblebubbletripletrouble · 04/04/2019 20:26

How difficult for you all, I’m so sorry. But she’s in the best place and getting the care she needs. Remember to keep taking notes so you remember what the doctors have said.

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