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Original poster

Hand hold - I had to give my baby CPR

136 replies

BatmansBoxers · 29/03/2019 06:27

My little girl. She had bronchiolitis and was discharged from hospital but the next day I thought she looked sleepy and wasn't feeding well. I thought maybe theyd keep her and give her the NG tube back, but I sat in the back of the car with her while my mum drove is back in because I didn't think she looked right and she seemed to be shallow breathing.

She turned yellow, her eyes rolled and then stayed open, she made a horrible gasp and then just...stopped. She just stared completely unresponsive.

We were on a motorway and had to pull over and I called 999 and I had to resuscitate her but she still wouldn't breathe and I keep worrying I did it wrong because her chest didn't rise. She kept gasping but only a couple of times a minute, and I keep seeing her just staring at me glassy eyed.

Paramedics took over when they got here and they got her back but it was so so so horrible. There were loads of consultants there when we arrived and they managed to sort her out but told me had we been minutes later she would've died.

She's currently in hospital on CPAP, the diagnosis is a new infection that's turned into pneumonia and it collapsed her airways but I feel so upset by what's happened I don't know why I'm writing this just need someone to listen and tell me she'll be okay I guess

OP posts:
backaftera2yearbreak · 29/03/2019 07:14

You saved your babies life 💖.

KitKat1985 · 29/03/2019 07:16

Oh how terrifying OP. No wonder you are shaken up.

You did absolutely amazingly though. x

flumpybear · 29/03/2019 07:17

You are a supermum of the highest order!
Well done for keeping your cool and getting your baby sorted out

I'd be a bit PTSD too, but you'll get over this and your little lady will forever have that wonderful story of mummy saving her life

StarThanksGin

Hyacintharehighersincelasttime · 29/03/2019 07:18
Thanks what a shock.
youarenotkiddingme · 29/03/2019 07:21

Oh sweetheart you saved your babies life. No guilt should be felt.

Totally agree you need to ask for some counselling. You've been through a trauma.

Hope you get some answers soon Thanks

McPie · 29/03/2019 07:25

How frightening for you, well done for keeping calm, I hope she recovers quickly Flowers

ItWentInMyEye · 29/03/2019 07:26

Thanks It gave me shivers reading that. You brave woman, you've quite literally saved your child's life! It sounds absolutely terrifying, but so pleased for you that things turned out well.

anniehm · 29/03/2019 07:26

Thanks keep us updated, thinking of you

Sidge · 29/03/2019 07:27

Oh my lovely, you’re in shock. I’ve done CPR too, on other babies (I’m a nurse) and on my own, and it’s horrendous. You play it over and over and wonder if you should have done something different.

Whilst she’s in hospital it might be worth talking to the chaplaincy - I found them incredibly helpful when my daughter was in NICU. I have absolutely no faith and made it clear to them I was an atheist, but I found the chaplain so kind, calm and supportive and helped me make sense of my emotions. He didn’t seem to mind at all that I didn’t believe in god, and was just so helpful.

Take care and best wishes to your baby for a speedy recovery. 💐

GoGoGadgetGin · 29/03/2019 07:28

You are absolutely amazing! Agree with pp about some support with counseling or a debrief, Flowers

GeriGremlin · 29/03/2019 07:30

Well done super mum Flowers I pray your little one is better soon

Bossinger · 29/03/2019 07:32

This made me well up.

You are an amazing person to have stayed so calm and knew what to do to keep your beautiful baby with you.

Bless your heart, I hope you are both going to be o.k Flowers

Springwalk · 29/03/2019 07:32

Oh my goodness op what a terrifying experience. You saved your dd! Thanks to your quick thinking, she is safely in hospital, but you will be in total shock now. Your dd is now safe and in the best place to get better.

You couldn't have done anything more. They will nurse her back to full health. In the meantime Op you need to ask others to drive you (Shock and exhaustion is not a good combination) and take it easy. You have been through alot and it will take time to process what happened.
We had something similar when our dd was small but we were in the back of ambulance and not on the motorway, I understand the fear and I have never felt so scared ever. You will get over it in time, and your little dd. Flowers

GeriGremlin · 29/03/2019 07:33

A friend of mine saved her mums life with for. She had to take a couple of days off work as she was so affected by it. Be gentle with yourself Flowers

Queenie8 · 29/03/2019 07:34

Wowsers, you are a super hero, super mum! Ultimate respect for you.

Please speak to someone, ask one of the nursing staff if they can point you in the right direction.

My youngest DC had bronchiolitis from 11 weeks until 30 weeks, we had four separate stays on the ward. He is now a fit strong mad thing, but there was a point he looked like he wouldn't come through it, but he did, and it took until he was approx 5, to stop panicking every time he got a mere sniffle.

Be kind to yourself, talk to your mum, she was with you, she's probably in shock too.

Speedy recovery for your baby girls.

GeriGremlin · 29/03/2019 07:34

for = cpr

Sirzy · 29/03/2019 07:35

I agree with others, look after yourself and seek counselling. I was “lucky” that we had made hospital before Ds crashed but it took me 8 years before I realised how much it had impacted on my and went for support.

mommybear1 · 29/03/2019 07:36

Well done OP you did everything you could in those circumstances- wishing your baby a swift recovery Thanks

FannyFifer · 29/03/2019 07:39

You did absolutely amazing, you managed to pull over safety, your CPR worked till the paramedics with all the kit could take over.
You saved your baby.
Performing CPR in any circumstance is highly traumatic, can't imagine the shock of performing it on your own baby, you did so well, but please speak to someone.

Hope your wee one gets better soon & they get to the bottom of all the issues. X

Sciurus83 · 29/03/2019 07:39

You are the most amazing mum, you did everything right and you saved her life. What a truly horrifying thing to go through, I hope that if ever this happened to me I would be half the mother you've proven yourself to be. Flowers

bloodywhitecat · 29/03/2019 07:46

You did an amazing thing Flowers, I wish your baby girl a speedy recovery (and seek some counselling for yourself, my dd crashed in front of me and it took me years to get over it so please, look after you too).

Myusernameismud · 29/03/2019 07:48

Oh OP, I'm in tears reading this and that's not something I've ever said on MN.

You brave, brave woman. You kept your beautiful baby breathing until the professionals took over, and she is now in the best place she can be. Don't feel guilty about leaving her, you need time and space to process and deal with a really traumatic situation, so that when she is better and home with you, you can concentrate fully on helping her recover and continue being an amazing mum. Of course you should visit her in hospital, but don't feel that you have to be there every minute because you must take care of yourself too. You can't pour from a empty cup and all that.

Flowers for you and your mum, and your darling little girl.

FrozenMargarita17 · 29/03/2019 07:50

Oh op you poor poor thing. How awful. You did BRILLIANTLY, well done you!!

MyKingdomForBrie · 29/03/2019 07:54

I can't even imagine the horror and trauma, then with the testing for CF on top, you must feel in absolute pieces. You're an absolute hero, you saved her life, she's still here entirely because of you. Flowers

Cannyhandleit · 29/03/2019 07:58

Thankfully I have never had to resuscitate my son but I have had to have him blue lighted to hospital with breathing difficulties 3 times (he has additional needs) and the first time he was only 6 weeks old. It is amazing how you just somehow find the clarity to keep it together and do what you need to do to insure your child's safety, I have had people comment to me about how calm I keep but as soon as he is in the hospital and I know the danger is over it hits me and I fall to pieces!!!

You did an amazing thing and I'm so so sorry you had to go through!!! I hope your baby is home safe and well very soon!!